A Canadian Bully
by Mr. Panama Red
Summary: Inspired by the game "Bully". Duncan Hopkins enters Wawanakwa Academy and soon begins a war with all cliques, Jocks, Nerds, Preps and Greasers. Will he be able to take control of the wild cliques and keep his romance with a former brunette Prep? R
1. Welcome To The Jungle

**Inspired by the game "Bull****y", but not based on it. Rated T for "swears". Even though I think that words like "fuck" or "shit" are so used that they shouldn't be considered inproper.**

---

Ah, another day, another shitload. Those were my thoughts as I walked out of Principal McClean's office on my first day at Wawanakwa Academy. One of the most "prestigeous" private schools in all of Canada; what a load.

Call me Duncan, 'cause that's my name. Giving people what they have coming is my game. Well, before I begin the tale of my disastruous, but in the end happy run through Wawanakwa Academy; let me tell you a bit about myself.

Since day one of my life, I have been swimming in river after river of bullshit. My mom and dad are cops, so they've always had high expectations for all their children. I have three older brothers, all of them top in all their classes and all became cops as soon as they could. So my parents always paid more attention to nitwit brothers. They never game much of a fuck about me; so, seeing I could do pretty much all I wanted, I did. Then, my parents started to pay attention to me, to scold me. To scream at me, to tell me how I was going nowhere and how I was a let down. Hell, after years of them ignoring me, that was like paradise, so I kept getting into trouble, just to get them mad; as payback for ignoring me.

Sure getting into trouble was fun, but it all came to too much fucked up situations. But hell, don't have anything better, so you gotta go with what you got.

So, with my little activities, I got expelled from pretty much every decent school in the country. Until there was only one left...Wawanakwa Academy. The only school I ever managed to graduate from. Now I'm gonna tell you the story of my life in the hellish little place.

Well, as I was saying, I walked out of the office, en route to the boys' dorm. I was looking down at myself and felt embarassed. Normally I wore black clothes and cargo pants, along with my perfect little green mohawk on my short black hair and piercings on my face...but now. Damn, I was wearing a stupid white shirt with a blue school vest, beige pants, and I had to remove my piercings, shave of the mowhawk and let the hair grow a lot. It was still short black hair, but damn. I missed the mowhawk.

I was thinking about all the bullshit I was going to have to endure in this place; stern teachers, stuck-up chicks and hell, even dumbass kids. It was gonna be jocks, nerds, preps, bullies and all to the tenth power; since it was private school.

I had already settled in my room at the boys' dorm and was heading over to it once I made it inside the building, when someone came across my way. He had a vest exactly like mine only moss green; other than that, he had the same prisoner uniform as me, with the exception that he had a matching moss green toque hat on his head. Mediumly long brown hair, brown eyes, a tiny beard and an outsider expression of sociopathy like none ever seen.

"You're the new kid, right?" were the first words he ever said to me, with the voice I would quickly grow to hate.

"Yeah." I answered. "What's it to ya?"

"Nothing." He replied. "Just asking, I take interest in the new kids at school."

"Well, fuck off." I said and shoved him aside to keep walking.

Before I could, I felt his hand on my shoulder, pulling me back. He stopped me with his words next.

"Hey relax, psycho kid." He said, sarcasm clear. "I'm just trying to be your friend, and believe me, you're going to need friends here."

I turned around and faced him, convinced.

"Fine." I said. "Name's Duncan Hopkins."

"Ezekiel, Ezekiel Smith."

"Alright."

"Now, tough guy, let me show you around this dump." Ezekiel said.

At least his opinion of the school was just like mine.

"Very well, follow me Duncan, let me teach you what you need to know in order to survive here." Ezekiel said.

He began to walk out fot he boys' dorm and I followed. We made our way from the boys' dorm, which was facing the girls' dorm, all the way to the main school building.

Let me explain, from the south of the schoolm the main building, the girls' dorm and the boys' dorm formed a triangle, the main school building being the furthest north; while from the gym building and football field at the furthest north end of the campus, the main school building, the gym and football field, the prep residence and the shop formed a diamond.

But well, Ezekiel led me all the way back to the main school building and then into the school's cafeteria.

"Ah, feeding time at the zoo." Ezekiel exclaimed as we came in. "It's nice to see how the freaks and beasts eat."

"So why are we here?" I had asked him, and soon I would learn.

"Because here is where you really learn how to survive in this little jungle that is Wawanakwa Academy." Ezekiel explained. "Now look over there."

Ezekiel raised his arm and pointed at a table. The nerd table. Along the long, rectangular table were sitting several nerds. All of them wore brown pants and forest green school sweater vests. One was the nerdiest guy I've ever seen; a redhead with freckles, big bottle-cap glasses and a really scrawny body. The there was a buck-toothed wimp with short brown hair and light blue eyes; a big fat guy with blonde hair and others.

"Those, Duncan-boy are the nerds." Ezekiel stated, pulling my sight away from the nerds to him. "Relatively harmless if you confront them while they're unarmed, but they have their little geek weapons like bottle-rocket launchers and spud guns, which can be troublesome; they hang around the library mostly."

"Fuck their weapons, I could take them down any day." I told him, high and mighty.

"Make friends...not enemies, Duncan-boy." Ezekiel told me, something which I now find quite ironic.

"Whatever."

Ezekiel raised his finger and pointed over to a bunch of kids sitting in another table. These ones had light blue sweaters and sweater-vests on and looked really snobbish. There was only one girl among them, she looked a little asian and had long black hair. Other than that there was also a guy with dark hair and looked like what most girls would define as "the hottest guy ever". I thought that they were probably preps.

"Those are the preppies." Ezekiel then stated.

What do you know, I was right.

"Let me guess, massively inbred and with a snobbery level big enough to crush Russia." I wittily remarked.

"Very clever, Duncan-boy." Ezekiel said, in his annoying accent and manner.

My little guide then took a breath and proceeded.

"Over there you can find the Greasers." He said and pointed to a third table.

In this table were many kids which stood out. First was a guy with black hair and green eyes, dressed with a black leather jackets and other less prominent clothes, he was playing guitar to the ears of a redhead with a crazed look on her face, who wore a similar black leather jacket. From the corner of the table, a goth girl in a leather jacket looked dreamily at the guitarist and sighed to herself as a large, black girl with another leather jacket talked to her A blonde guy with a leather jacket and cowboy hat spoke to a blonbde girl with, surprise-surprise, another leather jacket and her hair down in a pony-tail.

"They don't look so tough, but when they gotta put up a fight, they will, and a very tough one." Ezekiel explained.

"They don't scare me." I told him, again with the toughest guy around attitude.

"If you say so." Ezekiel replied mockingly.

He then pointed for me to look at a fourth table. In this one were your stereotypical jocks. I saw two guys arm-wrestling, one of them had brown hair and was wearing a redhead-band that didn't go along with the school's blue jersey and track pants he was wearing. Arm wrestling with him was a really big Jamaican-looking guy with a white beanie and a matching jersey and track suit. On the edge of that table was a blonde cheerleader with a rack so give it almost gave me a boner right there and then. Another girl was also there, she had black hair and she was lifting weights in her blue excercise suit.

"Those are the jocks, the final important cliques." Explained my companion.

My eyes browsed through the clique tables and through the tables where neutral students sat around and ate amongst themselves. However, there was one excpetion.

One girl was sitting in a table alone. She was by far, one of the prettiest girl I had ever seen by then. Brown-shoulder length hair, very tanned mocha-colored skin, freckles between her eyes, beautiful onyx eyes and a rack almost as big as the one on the cheerleader. She was wearing clothes like the one's on the preps but wasn't with them. I tried to hide my instant liking for this girl as I questioned by annoying tour guide about her.

"Who's that broad?" I asked, pointing at the girl, asking as nonchalantly as I could.

"Oh, that's Courtney Rodriguez." Ezekiel explained to me. "She used to be part of the preps, but when she told her boyfriend Justin Taylor that one day she wanted to be a politician; they threw her out of the prep dorm and ran her down to shit."

"Why?" I asked, giving away some emotion.

"Well, appearently the preppies didn't like the fact that she wanted to _work_ at any point in her life...to them, _wanting to work_ is like heresy; so they banned her and Justin broke-up with her." My accented "friend" explained.

"Wow, thsoe preps are douchebags." I commented.

"No doubt, eh." Ezekiel replied. "Now, Duncan-boy, it's customary for all new kids to be shown one of the most important places in all of the school at Midnight, so, come to the school basement at 12 PM tonight, and I'll show you to one of the key places in the academy."

"Alright." I agreed.

Boy if I'd known what I was getting myself into.

---

At 12:15 that same night, we made it there. I had met with Ezekiel at the basement and he had led me through a maze of cellars and plumbing for quarter of an hour until we at last came to the place he was going to show me.

It was a large arena-like room. It was a hectagonal chamber made entirely out of concrete. In the center of it was a pit, two meters deep, surrounded by a chainlink fence. The place looked like an execution chamber of sorts.

"Come on, we have to get to the center, eh." Ezekiel instructed me as he began to climb down a small ladder in an opening in the fence.

As he reached the bottom of the pit by the ladder, I merely jumped off the wall and into the 2 meter deep ring-like pit.

"So why the fuck are we here?" I asked, my guide.

"This, Duncan-boy is 'The Hole', the place which separates the boys from the men and the place where I have conducted my 'initiation' rituals for quite a long while now." Ezekiel stated, growing more annoying and strange every second.

"What the fuck does that mean, dude?!" I yelled at him, he was really starting to get on my nerves with his fucking accent and the cryptic way in which he talked.

Then, I began to realize what he meant. Out oft he shadows came four people, and all of the climbed into the pit. The hot prep guy, the tough jock girl, the guitarist greaser and the redhead nerd climbed into "The Hole" and began to surround me, while Ezekiel backed away towards the ladder. It was kinda hard to focus on Ezekiel now though, since the four creeps were approaching me threateningly...oh, and did I mention they were wielding wooden baseball bats, yeah I thought I didn't, well they were wielding them.

"You see Duncan, every new kid that enters this school is a threat to my plans for this place, and I don't like threats, so I always gather up top clique members to teach them a lesson from day one, and the teachers don't do shit about it, so there's no worries...consider this a warning abo'ot what happens to those who mess with my plans." The traitor stated. "Show him guys."

"Excuse me?" The tough girl said.

"Oh sorry, guys and Eva." He stated. "If there's a difference."

Eva growled at him but then shrugged it off and the four creepos began to close on me. Before I couold say anything, the first swing hit my back from the redhead nerd. I wailed and then felt the tough girl make connection on my stomach, making me double-over, allowing the guitarist to hit me in the back and the pretty boy to swing at my face. I fell backwards and landed on my ass, I then crumpled on my back and wailed in pain as more swing hit my stomach, legs, chest and arms. The blows weren't so hard, because they were trying to hurt me, not maim me; but it still hurt like a bitch. Soon the pain begun to fade and I realized that my four agressors ahd left, but that Ezekiel still stood outside "The Hole", looking at me groan from atop the ladder.

"Consider this a warning." Ezekiel said, with a cold accent-less voice. "See y'around."

He then turned back and began to walk away as my conciousness began to fade away as well.

---

"Are you OK?"

My eyes slowly began to open and I found myself staring straight at the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. She was so pretty, with those freckles between her beautiful onyx eyes. Her concerned smile on that adorable tanned face and that pretty brown hair. My blurry vision soon adjusted itself and I looked at her clearly.

"Are you alright?" She asked again.

"Yeah." I answered. "That douchebag Ezekiel got some assholes with bats to beat me up."

"Stop swearing, it is not proper." She scolded me. Man, for the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen she was kinda bossy. But hell, I wasn't gonna tell her that, or at least not the first three fourths of that sentence.

"Man, you're really bossy, aren't you, honey?" I cockily stated.

"Look, I am in no mood for macho stupidity." She said.

Macho stupidity? Whatever.

"I'm here to cut you a deal." She said.

"What kinda of deal?"

"I believe you know who I am?" She asked, rhetorically.

"Yeah, Ezekiel told me about you, Courtney Rodriguez, the girl whom the preps unfairly threw out because she wanted to _work_ some day in her life." I told her.

"Correct." She said. "Well, I want revenge against those asshole preps who ruined me."

"Well, why should I help you, Princess?" I questioned her, I never knew the nickname would stick, but it did.

"Because, you don't have any friends...I don't have any friends and we all need friends." Courtney told me. Pretty, smart and cunningly evill. I was starting to really like her.

"Well, I guess you have yourself a deal, Courtney." I told her, crossing my arms.

"Excellent." She smiled in satisfaction. Boy, was she pretty.

"Now, we're both alone down here, where nobody could her us...wanna make-out?" I asked teasingly.

"In your dreams, Duncan." She said, cocky herself.

"No, in my dreams we'd be doing much more than just making out." I said and looked down at her breasts.

"If I wasn't in desperate need for friends, your balls would pay the price." She told me. Clever. "Now come on, Dunkie."

She took me by the hand and began to drag me away.

"Don't call me Dunkie, Princess."


	2. Strike One

As I sat alone on a table at the cafeteria the next day, I began to wonder on what the fuck was going to happen to me while I lived in this hellhole. Only my first day ahd gone by and I already had a deadly enemy, Ezekiel Smith, that fucked up jerk with the annoying accent and the crazy plans; who was nowhere to be seen here at the cafeteria by the way; and had some sort of a feud with every majorly established clique. I had been beaten down with baseball bats by a stereoid-monkey of a woman, a guitarist stuck in the 50's who had more grease in his hair than a car in its motor, a midgety nerd who looks like Carrot Top and a pretty, rich boy with the sissiest face I've ever seen. But at least something good came out of it...

"Duncan."

I get to hang out with Princess.

"Hi Princess." I told her.

"How many times will I tell you to stop calling me that?" She said with her little attitude.

"You can tell me as many times as you want but I'm not gonna stop calling you Princess, Princess." I said, trying to annoy. "'Cause that's what you are."

"Ridiculous Duncan, Princesses are spoiled and bratty girls, I am a determined young woman who wants to work her way to the top in life." She told me, her "holier than thou" attitude almost made me laugh.

"Whatever floats your boat, Princess." I retorted, making her scowl that little scowl of hers. I never got tired of her angry face, it was hot and cute at the same time.

"Well, listen up Duncan." She said as if she were an army general. "Today we begin our revenge against those annoying preps."

"Do you want revenge or do you want to join them again?" I questioned her.

"No way am I ever joining those dirty, cheating, backstabbing snobbish pigs ever again!" She yelled at me. "I just want to teach them a lesson!"

"Or you want to teach justin Taylor, the guy who dumped you because you wanted to work some day a lesson." I said.

"What?! How did you find out about that?!"

"Ezekiel told me yesterday." I told her, the shocked expression still on her face. "I may know almost nothing about this place but some stuff is still clear."

"Fine. But no, I hate Justin, the jerk said he loved me, but he dumped me over that stupid shit. I was depressed beause of that at first, I never really loved him, but I still cared about him...but soon, depression turned to hatred." She said, anger rising up again in a manner which turned me on oh-so-much.

"Well, whatever, if we're going to take on all the cliques, you might as well tell me about them." I told her.

"What do you mean with 'all the cliques'?" She asked, though it was obvious.

"Here's the deal, sister. If you want me to help you get revenge against the preps, you have to help me get revenge against all the other cliques for what they did to me last night." I demanded.

"Fine." She complied, she knuckled under surprisingly fast.

"Now, tell me about the cliques."I said.

"Alright." She began.

She pointed to the preps.

"Our first target are the preps." Courtney told me. "They're official leader is the richest kid in the school, Noah Harrington, he, unlike all the other preps is smart. He's a child genius and a master strategist, but he's extrememly weak, which is why he has all the brawny, stupid and spoiled preps working for him."

"Where is he?" I asked, looking over the faces of the spoiled and well dressed kids.

"He doesn't eat with them here, he rarely shows his face outisde of the prep residence; the biggest exceptions are when he goes to class, and he takes the majority of them with special teachers in the prep residence." My friend explained to me.

"So what does he think he is, some shadowy crime lord?" I asked with a sarcastic tone.

"You could say so, pretty much." She told me.

"What?"

"Duncan, the way the cliques run this school, you could say that this place is constantly at a mafia war." My friend/partial girlfriend said. "Anyway, other big timers among the preps are Noah's right hand man Justin Taylor."

"Your ex-boyfriend." I muttered.

"Shut it!" She wailed. "Justin is the brawniest of the preps, their boxing champion and possibly one of the stupidest."

"Then why'd you date him, you seem to smart to be with someone that stupid." I told her.

She then looked at me with a face of shocked happiness.

"That's so sweet." She said. "Thanks, Dunkie."

She leaned over to the side and hugged me.

"Don't call me Dunkie, Princess."

"Then you don't call me Princess." She said, pulling herself off me.

"No deal."

"Now, let the first wave of sabotage begin." Courtney stated.

---

Princes proceeded to lead me outside. We walked on outside the cafeteria until we made it outside the main school building. We rounded that building to the west until we reached the school parking lot, right south of the workshop building.

"So, we're in a parking lot." I pointed out the obvious.

"Yeah and here's where we will commit step one of any take over battle." Princess said.

"What exactly are these steps?" I asked.

"Step one is the head on attack, a brief blow to let them know the fight is on; step two is a sabotage; step three is a personal attack, something which brings shame or personal offense; step four is public humiliation and step five is complete take over." Princess explained.

"So what's the first step gonna be like?"

"Here in fifteen minutes the main messenger of the preps, Alejandro Torres, will come along; he always has two prep goons with him; so we'll take the goons out using these." Courtney sketched out and then drew two slingshots. She handed me one. "After that, you take down Alejandro and give him a message for Noah."

"Seems good enough." I conceeded.

"Good. Now let's hide until they come." Princess said. She looked around and saw a tree on the edge of the parking lot, near enough to the entrance so that we could have a good shot. "On that tree!"

Courtney ran forth and I followed. I looked at her, running gracefully across the deserted parking lot and I liked it. She was beautiful, extremely pretty, I didn't think that so much back then, but I do now. Back then, what I paid most attention to when I saw her run was not the grace with which she moved, or how alive she looked, but rather I looked at her tits bouncing up and down and at her ass under that tight school skirt. Hot! We reached said tree.

"Give me a boost?" She asked seetly, in contrast to her normal manner of speech.

I complied and put my hands together for her to step on and climb onto a low but still pretty high branch. She rested her right foot on both my plams and climbed up, reaching for the branch. As she tried to climb on, I managed to look up her skirt at some pretty small black lace panties, a weird color for a girl as "innocent" as her, and that fantastic ass. God it looked so fucking sexy under that light-blue skirt.

Soon, she made it to the low branch and sat on it. She stuck her hand out for me to take it. I did, and she helped me up on the branch to sit right next to her. So we played the waiting game. There was no point in trying to make small talk, as we sat there, concealed behind some branches on that tree, Courtney had a fixed expression, looking straight at the entrance of the parking lot, waiting for our targets to show up. I knew it would be a bad idea to break that stern concentration.

In the end, they came. Two preps who's physical features I did not take the trouble to remember and the top messenger for the Preps clique. Alejandro Torres, a guy I'd be seeing a lot later on. He was tall and had an extremely tan complexion. Handsome and well-built, looked like he could put up a good fist fight, he had long brown hair that reached his mid-back. What a pussy, he looked like one of those gay guys who are always minding their appearence.

"Are you ready, Duncan?" Courtney asked me, the most sadistic smile on her face.

"Let's do this shit."

"What did I tell you about swearing?" She groaned. "It's improper."

"Not the time, princess." I groaned and raised my slingshot, which had a small rock loaded on it.

"Right." She replied and raised her slingshot as well, taking aim.

The waistbands of our slingshots were stretched out and the small rocks on their ends became ominous projectiles as we aimed for the heads of the two goon Preps who were guarding Alejandro. After aims were taken, the waistbands were released and the rocky projectiles zoomed through the air until they were stopped by the heads of goon 1 and goon 2, who themselves were stopped from falling by the concrete ground below them.

"NOW!"

Courtney and I leaped off the tree and began to storm forward, this time I didn't take me time to stare at Princess' bouncing breasts, but had my attention solely focused on Alejandro, who saw us comign too late as my fist made contact with his stomach. Alejandro quickly retaliated by punching my shoulder, then my chest and then my stomach. As I doubled over, he attempted to throw a kick at me, but he was stopped by Courtney, whom I saw roundhouse kicked him in the back off the head. As Alejandro spun around, stunned by Courtney's devastating Chuck Norris move, I took the opportunity to swerve kick Alejandro's right leg, knocking him to the ground. I was quick about my wits when I kicked Alejandro twice while he was on the floor, he attempted to get up, but while he did, a I delivered a finishing kick to his chest, which knocked him onto his back. Exhausted and beaten.

I panted and sighed at my triumph, looking down at my fallen opponent with a smirk. Unexpectedly, however, Princess came running at me and hugged me extremely tight. She then said.

"Duncan, you did it!"

"Yeah, I did."

I smiled to myself, partially unaware that Princess was still hugging me. I looked down at her with a tender face, possibly the first time in my life I ever had one of those,a nd it appears that then she realized that she had been hugging me for a whole long fucking time. Her eyes blasted open and she let go of me. I think I saw a blush on his face, but I didn't care then, I had something else to do other than pay attention to Princess' facial expressions.

"Alright rich kid." I told the guy who was beaten down in front of me.

I panted and kneeled down on top of the asshole's chest, making him grunt due to the renewed sensations of blunt pain on his chest.

"I want you to give your snob-ass boss Noah a message for me." I told him. "Tell him that Duncan Hopkins isn't about to take any more bullshit from him and his asshole preps."

I then stopped to think of a cool witty way to end my threat.

"Tell him it's war."

Not the wittiest remark ever, but the best I could come up with then.

"O-OK." He muttered.

"Take it easy now." I told him, mocking him as I gave the prep a few light slaps on the right cheek.

I pushed my knee off his chest and he gronaed in pain again. I turned to Princess.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Now, we go to class." She replied.

She took my hand and my heart skipped a beat. Stupid heart, making me a wuss.

"Let's go." She said as she dragged me away by the hand.


	3. Making Allies & A Little Surprise

A moth and two weeks later, everything seemed to go along the same path. Every day was pretty much the same.

I would wake up when my alarm clock went off at eight in the morning and I'd lazily stumble out of bed. I got into the prison clothes that was the damn school uniform of Wawanakwa Academy. I'd look into the mirror and many of the times I'd be surised that my mowhawk was gone, often forgetting that I had to shave it off to enter this fucked-up place. I'd been to juvie before, but this place was worse, since you gotten beaten up AND you had to attend classes. On the positive side, I got to eat better food here than in juvie, but it was still shitty ass food anyway. I got to roam through Wawanakwa Town after class and of course, the best pro from being here...Princess.

My everyday flirting with her seemed to bother her less and less each timeand I figure she might be getting a crush on me; since I caught her staring at me when I took my shirt off in gym last week. She's got it so bad for me. But well, we're even there, I got it prtetty bad for her too; though I won't ask her out, at least not just yet, not while I still have so many enemies here. But alas.

My routine followed with my meeting Princess outside the girls' dorm, then we'd walk together to first period, which we always had together. We'd attend classes separately and then we'd eat lunch together, I'd flirt with her and she'd try to deny her attraction for Your Gorgeous and Humble Narrator, btu I could see beyond her denial. We'd go through clasess separately and then we'd meet again at four o'clock when classes ended and we'd do nothing or we'd go beat up or sabotage some preppies bastards.

However, a month and two weeks after Princess' and my attack on preppy high-ranker Alejandro Torres, something broke the routine. It happened at lunch time. I was sitting around in the usual table, Princess was next to me, ranting on different ways on how to get revenge on the preppies. So far, the only thing we had done was to beat up random preps, fend them off when they came after me and put different prank materials in their bags and lockers and bikes.

But well. Without further ado, me and Princess were sitting alone in our private cafeteria table when something unusual happened. Someone approached the table and sat down with was a shrimpy, very little guy. He had shortish-to-a-little-long brown hair and a facial expression that said "I think too much of my pathetic, geeky self". His light blue eyes lit up as he smiled at Princess and I, and a smile spread on his face, revealing his bucktoothed incisors that really made me want to punch him just for being nerdy in front of me; but in order to avoid a ranting from my crush, I decided not to.

"Hey guys." The geek said.

"What do you want?" I asked menacingly, Princess just stared at him.

"Well, me and my friends."

"The nerds." I interrupted.

"Well, yeah, kinda...we've heard about how you've been wasting the preps and we kinda, you know, want to ask you for help." The geek said.

"Why should _we_ help _you_?!" I threatened him.

Then, princess step forth and took over.

"Let me handle this, Duncan." She said. "What's your name?"

"Cody Kowalski." The geek answered.

"Alright Cody, what can you and 'the nerds' offer me and Duncan in exchange for our services?" Courtney asked, with the most fake-ass polite tone ever.

"Well, if you pull the job we've got on us, we shall assist you on your quest for revenge against the preps and also, we'll give you a hundred bucks." Cody replied.

"A hundred each?" My princess bargained indirectly, knowing th real answer.

"No actually..."

"A hundred each, excellent." Courtney finished.

"No but..."

"Hey geek, the lady said one hundred each...now take it or leave it." I threatened him, sealing the deal.

"Alright." He groaned.

"Good negotiation, Princess."

"Right back at you, Duncan."

"Hmm, excuse me?"

I turned my attention back to the geek.

"What?"

"About the job, don't you want to know what it is?" He said, I growled at him and then Princess nodded.

He coughed nervously and then spoke up with a stuttery, geeky, extremely fucking annoying voice.

"Well, the Class President Elections are coming up and one of my friends, Harold, he's running for President like every year and like every year, the Quarterback of the Football team, that jerk Tyler Thompson is running against him...like every year, he'll win unless something is done."

"Why can't you do something?" I asked, mocking him.

"We'll, we're not qualified."

"Which means you're weak, spineless chickens."

"Duncan, don't be rude." Princess scolded me, she turned to the geek. "Go on."

"Well, we're offering to pay you if you set up a really big prank to humiliate Tyler at this Friday's pep rally, so that Harold gets a bigger chance at winning." The geek finished.

"Fine, we'll do it." Princess told him. "Now go, we have planning to do."

"Oh...um, OK, cool."

The geek got up and left.

"Now listen up, Duncan." Princess said, commanding and all high and mighty again. She was hot when she got either angry or militaristic.

---

Well, we made it to Friday without getting killled by the preps, so it was a good week. It had all been set up. Late at night on Thursday, after the janitor had set up the podium for the quarterback's speech on the upcoming football season the following day, we snuck into the gym and prepared our plan.

Princess had gotten a "special something" from one of the geek weapon technitians, but she didn't want to tell me what it was, so I'd be surprised when she put it into action the next day. Whatever it was, she set it up under the podium and she told me it got running when she pressed the big red button on a remote control she had.

I tried to snatch the remote from her, but in an effort to keep it away from my sneaky hands, she stashed it in her bra. When I said I would go in there, she smirked at me and gave me a playfull shove. I knew she liked me because of that, any other woman who didn't like me would have slapped me for saying that.

But well, the next day after setting up the trap; Princess and I got into the gym at 3 PM, the time of the pep rally and the time that the captain of the dumbshit monkeys that was the football team gave their speech,Tyler Thompson gave his speech. Making it in with the rest of the dumbass students, Princess and I snuck off under the bleachers, anyone who would've seen us might've tought we were going to make out under there...something I would very much enjoy. But well, out of my dirty little imagination and back to the dissapointing truth.

"Come on Princess, what does it do?" I pleaded to her.

"You'll have to wait for his speech to begin and for our contact to arrive." She answered, her eyes closed in determination.

"Speak of the devil." Cody said shily as he approached us. "You guys set up something?"

"Yes, now, let's lean to the side of the bleachers and wait for Tyler to take the stage." Princess aid and began to classily head to the edge of the bleachers, her hot ass swaying sideways under that skirt all the way...so hot!

Then, the steroid-monkey king took the stage and stood in front of the podium.

"Now can we do this, Princess?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

I stuck my hand out and reached into my crush's shirt and into her cleavage, copping a bit of a feel along the way and quickly snatched the remote control. As I prepared to press it, I felt a sharp pain down under and I groped myself as I exhaled in pain and crumbled to the floor as soon as Princess' fot retracted from my balls.

"Serves you right." She said, partially angry and partially teasing.

She grabbed the remote and pressed the big red button. The geek, Cody helped me up and helped me to the side of the bleacher just in time to see how Princess' plan came into action. A huge explosion of green gas blew out from under the podium and it sprayed itself on the entire football team. They coughed and gargled, swallowing puke as the entire scholl laughed at their misfortune, Princess, the geek and I included.

Tyler Thompson coughed and tried to hold his vomit down, but he gave out and puked on Coach Hatchet, earning himself a punch to the gut from the guy, which led him to puke again...over his girlfriend Lindsay, the cheerleader with the giant tits. She screamed at him that they were over the crowd began to laugh even more until Tyler puked over the first row, where the teachers and the prefects were. Scared, the entire football team ran out of the gym as the prefects and Coach Hatchet chased them down.

As the rest of the school began to leave the gym, laughing their asses off, the geek Cody pulled out two one Ben Franklin's from his pocket and gave them to thanked her and then a happy Courtney jumped to me and hugged me, cheering.

"We did it!"

She only realized what she was doing when I hugged her back. Quickly, Princess let me go and blushed as she mumbled something to herself.

"Here's your cut." She said, handing me a hundred dollar bill.

"Great." I said to her. "Now, I gotta go spend this bad boy."

"On what?" She asked me curiously.

"I've had my sights set on different thingsa that don't concern you, princess." I said, not wanting her to find out what I was really going to buy.

"Fine!" She growled, angry at not winning the discussion.

I walked off, smirking to myself about having angered Princess...again.

---

At around five in the afternoon, I decided to leave the guys' dorm and head over to Wawanakwa Town, which was a ten minute walk away from the school and buy what I wanted to buy.

I made my way across the small town square over to the most used general store in town, Cardigan's Market. The place was a small grocery store where they sold the usual crap, food, cleaning products, toys and other ssorted bullshit. It was run by good ol' Mr. Cardigan, a sixty year old grouch who hated everyone younger than him.

But whatever. I made my way into the store and I saw that the only customer was one of the stupid greaseball kids. He was the blonde one with the stupid cowboy hat. Where did he think he was? Texas? We were in fucking Ontario and he was dressed like some slapstick cowboy from the US. Also, if you wear a cowboy hat _and_ a leather jacket, you are a complete, utter and total douchebag.

But back to business, I went for the counter and I briefly overheard what the owner was telling the greaser kid.

"You should just say no!"

"For the last time, Mr. Cardigan, I'm not high!" The greaser said.

"Yeah right, nobody who's not 'tripping'." He said this last word with air comas. "Would wear a cowboy hat with a leather jacket."

He may have been an old, senile jerk but the old guy was right.

"Hey old guy!" I grunted at Cardigan.

The old guy looked at me.

"What do you want?! Can't you see I'm busy ranting aimlessly at this kid who did nothing wrong?!" The old bastard yelled at me.

"Whatever old guy." I told him. "I wanna buy a big box of milk-free imitation chocolates for the lactose intolerant."

The old guy handed me a box of the special chocolates that I had decided to buy for that special someone...I'm pretty sure you know for whom. Theuy cost double what the normal box would. Thrity bucks instead of fifteen, but for her...it was well worth it. All would have gone well had the following not happened.

"Well, if it isn't that piece of pathetic pondscum, the Hopkins boy Duncan." A voice said in a phony british accent.

I turned around to face Alejandro Torres and one of his prep goons coming into the store.

"What do you want, rich kid?" The greaser asked.

"Well, it is certainly not money." Alejandro said in that annoying fake british voice of his. "For I have a lot of it, unlike you, poor-boy."

"Look, I don't like getting into fights, but if you make me angry, then I'll have to." Threatened the stupidly dressed greaseball.

Alejandro approached me.

"I'm not looking to annoy you, poor-boy." He told the greaser. "But I do want Duncan's chocolates."

In the flash of a second, the jerk prep shoved me aside and snatched the chocolates from my hand. He and his goon proceeded to run out the door and I followed. As I chased down the street, I noticed the greaser was following them with me.

"Let me give youy a hand, Duncan." The greaser said. "Name's Geoff."

"Fine." I told the greaser as we chased the two jerks who'd stolen the chocolates I bought for Princess.

"You'll never get these to your pathetic little girlfriend now, Duncan." Alejandro yelled from a short distance as we chased them.

We turned in an alley they ran down to and I was met with an interesting sight. Justin Taylor was standing in front of me, holding Princess' chocolates. The guy was taller than me, but he was no way near as strong...or so I thought.

"YEAH!" Screamed my partner as he ran forth, charging at Justin.

Geoff raised his fist and tried to aim it at Justin's face, but before he could get close, Justin threw a single quick punch at his face and knocked him to the ground, the prep then approached me.

"Look Taylor, I just want my chocolate so..."

He punched me. Before I could realize, his knuckles struck my face and my conciousness began to fade. I slowly spun in place and crumbled to the floor, drifting slowly into my forced sleep.

"Here's your chocolates." I heard him say just as he dropped the box next to my face and my eyes and brain gave away.

---

"Duncan, wake up!"

My eyes shot open and I found myself staring at the beautiful eyes of my sweet Princess. God she was pretty. Her face was extremely pretty and what made it better was that it was attached to a super fucking hot body.

But well, as my eyes shot open, I saw hers fill with relief as she saw me awaken. She hoisted me up and I saw I was still in the same alley as before only now it had gotten darker, so I assumed it was about seven PM. However, her look of relief turned to an angry one and she proceeded to slap me.

"What was that for?" I asked, angry.

"For getting into a fight like that." She said. "Why did you try to take on Justin? It's ridiculous, he's way stronger than you."

"Well, someone's feisty." I said.

"Shut up, Duncan." She said, still angry.

"And if you want to know why I fought Justin." I began. "It was to get these back."

I leaned down and picked up the box of chocolates that was lying next to me, surprisingly, nobody had stolen them and she hadn't noticed them. I handed them to her.

"What are these." She asked, surprised and happy, all anger gone from her face.

"These are milk free imitation chocolates for the lactose intolerant because I remembered you couldn't handle your milk and they are here because I wanna aks you out." I told her, extremely confident.

She stared at me in awe.

"So what do you say, Courtney, wanna go out with me?" I asked her.

"You called me Courtney." She said, the cutest little smile on her face.

"Don't get used to it." I said. "Now cut it with the suspense, you're making me nervous."

Immediately, she leaned forth and hugged me.

"Sure Dunkie, I'll go out with you." She said.

I smiled and hugged her back.

"Don't call me Dunkie, Princess."

"Oh shut up." She said and playfully shoved me aside."Tomorrow at seven?"

"Tomorrow at seven." I said.

Then I took her hand.

"But for now, let me walk you back to your dorm in case more preps show up." I said, smirking.

"You mean for me to protect you in case Justin returns?"

"Whatever floats your boat, Princess."


	4. The Date or Strike Two

Well, it was finally time. Time to go out and meet Princess for our first date. We'd agreed that neither of us wanted to go out with our school uniforms so we had to dress in our regular clothes. I was pretty sure she wasn't gonna like what I had picked out.

Good old fashioned dark blue jeans, a jet black Black Sabbath shirt with Ozzy Osbourne's crazy-ass face in color yellow and the Sabbath logo under it. Red converse and of course, my studded wristwatch.

Yep, well, after I was dressed to kill, I got out of my room and walked down the halls of the dorm and watched other guys in street clothes heading for the door. Greasers, neutral kids, nerds, as soon as class ended they put their differences aside to go out to town, with the occasional street fight every weekened.

I walked out onto the boys' dorm courtyard and saw that love...or at least lust, was in the air. To my left that greaser Geoff was making out with a blonde greaser girl; to my right the redhead nerd was was talking with the black geasers sistah. Ahead of me, the big tall Jamaican jock was walking hand-in-hand with a skinny girl with pigtails whose clique I could not identify. Yep, today was a day for love.

I walked all the way to the girls' dorm, coming a cross other happy couples until I got to the front door of the dorm and sat around to wait until princess came out like she said she would.

Five minutes later, the door to the door open and someone stepped out. I turned around to face her and my jaw dropped. There stood Princess, wearing a black tank top and a black jacket with dark blue pants and I must say that the tank top showed quite a bit much more than what Princess would normally wanted to show.

"From the way you're drooling I guess I look fine." She cockily said.

I closed my mouth and it twisted into my trademark smirk.

"Now that's hot, Princess." I said. "Didn't think you'd have this kind of wardrobe."

"I bought it just to turn you into a drooling ape." She said, smirking at me.

How dare she...I'm the only teaser in this relationship.

"Come on, Princess. Let's get going." I said and stretched out my hand for her to take it.

Which she did. After that, we walked out of the school and headed towards Wawanakwa Town.

---

Well, everytime I'd gone out with a girl before in my seventeen year-old life it had always been the same thing. Movie, making out in the allye behidn the movie theater, go to my house, fuck her then we'd go our separate ways. It had always been like that.

This being the first exception. After Princess and I watched our movie, we walked out hand-in-hand and she insisted on going to a restaurant so we could eat. I insisted that we made-out but she made it clear she didn't want to. I tried and I tried but hell I didn't manage. At least she elt me pick where to go and eat. I chose a nearby McDonalds, where I got myself a double quarter-pounder while she got herself a salad. Then we got to talking.

"So Duncan, how'd you get into Wawanakwa? You don't look like the kinda guy who goes to this school." She asked.

"Well, this is the last place that would take me, I got expelled from five other schools." I told her, using my tough voice.

"Woohoo, Mr. Criminal." She answered dily. "What did you get expelled for?"

"The usual, a couple of pranks to the teachers,a couple of brawls with other students...the same you and me have been doing ehre to the preps, only difference is that in this shithole school they encourage that."

"Duncan, don't swear it's..."

"Improper, I know." I told her. "Geez, for someone pretty you're a bit bitchy."

"You think I'm pretty?"

Then it hit me.

"No...you're hot, not pretty, you've got a huge rack and..."

She looked at me with ehr annoying "I know you're lying" smirk and I sighed.

"Fine you're pretty." I sighed.

"Thanks, you're pretty too."

"Hey Princess, I'm not pretty, I'm a hot bad boy and you can't resist me." I said cockily and shot her my trademark smirk, which always worked on her.

"Whatever you say, Dunky."

She smiled at me. Such a pretty smile when she wasn't angry.

"So why did you go around picking fights at your old schools? I can understand why you do it here, but why there?" She asked, really curious.

"I don't know, to entertain myself...get a little revenge." I told her.

"Revenge?" She questioned.

"Well, my parents never really paid too much attention to me, so I kinda got into trouble to piss them off for...you know, ignoring me." I told her drily.

However, her reaction wasn't very dry. She looked at me with a pitying face, which I hated. I hated it when people pitied me, it made me feel weak; it would really hurt my man-pride.

"I'm sorry." She said, and placed her hand over mine.

"Whatever."

"Let's go for a walk." She said and began to get up, pulling me by the hand.

We got off the table, leaving the food remains there for a disgruntled janitor to pick up, and we headed out the door. Hand-in-hand we walked across the streets until we came to the beach, which was about half and hour away from the school and about twenty minutes away from the McDonalds place.

We didn't really go to the beach but rather we stood by the railing of the pier above the beach.

"You know what Duncan, I really had fun tonight." Princess said, she was leaning on the rail right next to me.

"Me too Princess." I said.

I turned to look at her and suddenly saw her puckering her lips. I smiled to myself, knowing she had the hots for me all along and leaned in to meet her lips with mine. But before we could kiss, we heard the annoying voice of an old foe.

"See Alejandro, I told you they'd be here."

Princess and I turned to look at Ezekiel Smith pointing at us and Alejandro Torres and a group of five other preps standing next to him.

"Thanks Zeke." Alejandro said.

"Ezekiel, you bastard!" I yelled at the creep.

"Enjoy the show, Duncan." Ezekiel yelled before he stormed off.

"Well, well, well Duncan, looks like it's time for you and your filthy girlfriend to learn a lesson." Alejandro said, cracking his knuckles.

"What's the matter with you Alex, we used to be friends!" Courtney yelled at the prick.

"Yeah, but that was before I learned you were a working class scum-whore." Alejandro replied. "Let's get them!"

The five prep goons plus Alejandro began to charge at us.

"Any big ideas, Princess?" I asked.

"Just one. RUN!"

Without a further word, Princess and I swung round and began to run away from the attacking preps. We would normally fight, but we could never take on six of them at the same time. We ran down the street as the pricks chased us. Despite our large peril at the moment, is till had the chance to admire Princess' big, bouncing breasts going up and down under the black tank top she was wearing. Suddenly I felt a tingling in my pants and found myself having problems running now. Irony, the eight inches I loved more than my eight inch pocket knife were now going to kill me. Goddamn irony.

Soon we met with a bunch of greaseballs. There were about seven of them, well I didn't really count since the next thing I know, Princess and I had snatched a greaseball bike and were pedaling away. Princess was pedaling and conducting while I was holding onto a wooden board we had snatched from the greasers.

Problem was, the preps had also managed to shove the other greaseballs aside and had stolen their bikes, and they were all now chasing us at about the same speed as we were pedaling away.

"Princes, what the hell do we d now?!" I yelled at her.

"I pedal away, YOU hit anyone who comes within a feet from us!" She replied.

"Gee, I hadn't thought of that." I replied sarcastically.

"Do you have any better ideas!?"

"Guess not." I replied.

"Thought so." She finished cockily.

We kept on pedaling and as we were crossing the bridge that headed away from Wawanakwa Town, crossing Wawanakwa River up to Wawanakwa Academy; one of the preppie goons got too close for comfort.

"I'm going to kill you, you middle class scum!" He yelled.

"Don't think so, asshole!" I yelled.

As the jackass got to close, I swung the wooden board I was holding forward and struck the guy right across the face. He fell off his bike and rolled down the pavement. Another one of the chasing preps tried to dodge the injured guy and hit the railing of the bridge, getting thrown off his bike and then into the Wawanakwa River, two meters below the bridge.

We finally reached the school gate and the preps still chased us as we went inside, swerving past prefects and students.

"Where are we going, Princess?" I asked, trying to hold onto the bike.

I was surprised she was such a good bike rider, and also that she could drive so fast in the dark.

"Trust me I have a plan." She said.

"Finally."

"Shut up."

Soon I realized what her plan was. We rode into the shop class area, otherwise known as greaser country. As we went in, we reached a large group of greasers, about ten of them. I recognized two. One was Geoff, the guy who helped me yesterday and the other was the asshole who attacked me with Ezekiel in The Hole.

We didn't stick around for the fight, but from what we were told the next day, the greasers kicked ass. The preps were beaten to the ground, except Alejandro, who managed to get away relatively unharmed, which was unfortunate.

But whatever, after we got away from the chasing preps, Princess and I walked all the way to the girls dorm, hand in hand.

"Well Duncan, I had fun tonight." Princess said.

"So you like getting chased around by furious preps?" I asked, teasing.

"I had fun despite that." She said.

She leaned over and kissed m cheek.

"Goodnight, Duncan." She said.

"What? No making out?" I asked, teasing again.

"Not tonight, Dunky."

She smiled and walked into the dorm. I smiled to myself and walked away to the guys dorm. As I looked up at the stars, I saw her face and I smiled wider.

Also, I think I could hear the sounds of a prep screaming in pain.


	5. Personal Attack

It was Friday night, the following week. There I stood next to the girls dorm, holding Heather Gauthier's hand as she said goodbye to me and kissed me on the lips, sliding her tongue in while at it. The fame she had of being a good kisser was bullshit, that was the worst kiss I'd ever gotten. But hell, I waved goodbye to her and brushed her taste off my lips as she got into the dorm.

You might be wondering how I ended up doing this aberration against nature. Sure Heather might be hot, but during our date she proved to be a really annoying bitch. Well, allow me to tell you how I ended up here.

It was the Monday after my date with Princess. I hadn't seen Princess the following day after our date, but the day after that, Monday, I sat in our usual place in the cafeteria and Princess sat down next to me eventually.

"Hey Princess, where were you yesterday, in your room all day thinking about how awesome I am?" I teased her.

"Very funny Duncan." She said. "Most of the time I was thinking about how to get back at the preps for ruining our date, but sometimes I stopped to think about how nice and sweet you are."

"Hey honey, I'm neither nice nor sweet." I told her sternly.

"Whatever Duncan." Courtney told me. "I think I've come up with a perfect next move."

"What would it be, Princess?" I asked her with curiosity.

"My sources told me something very interesting yesterday. Apparently Noah's on-off girlfriend, Heather Gauthier has some interest in you. So, to give the preps a personal attack, you're going to get Heather to go on a date with you and then, the day after the dater, you dump her and break her heart." Princess explained deviously.

"Oh Princess, aren't you going to be jealous that I'll have to kiss another girl?" I teased her.

"Not really, because I know you're hopelessly crushing on me…and besides, you wouldn't like Heather, she's a total bitch and not the good kind of bitch like me." Princess told me.

"Hey Princess, you're not a bitch, you're a nice girl." I told her in one of my odd moments of sensitivity.

Her devious smile turned to one of pure joy.

"Thanks Duncan."

She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Don't get used to the compliments to your personality…I'd prefer to compliment your splendid ass." I teased her, earning a jab in the stomach.

"Alright, but do you understand what we must do?" Courtney asked.

"Yeah, but Princess, if you don't mind me asking…how am I going to hook up with the bitch?" I asked her.

"Simple enough." Courtney said, closing her eyes and putting on her "I'm going to explain something in a high-and-mighty way" face. "But to do so, we're going to need the help of the jocks."

---

So like Princess had said, we would need the help of the jocks to pull this. In order to recruit these steroid-hopping gorillas, she and I walked over to their turf after lunch…the school gym.

We got into the giant building where we had previously humiliated the jocks by putting a stink bomb in the speech podium where their leader stood. As soon as we walked in, I heard laughter coming from the top of the bleachers right next to the door. I looked up at said bleachers and saw three jocks there. Two of them were laughing one wasn't.

"Hey Hopkins, how are you and your girlfriend doing?" One of the laughing jocks, a very short one teased.

"I'm not her girlfriend, I'm just a friend." Courtney told him.

We walked up to the top of the bleachers and Courtney looked at them with a condescending attitude.

"We need your help." Courtney said.

"Why would we help you losers?" Sad the second laugher, a tall, buff, really stupid-looking prick.

"Guys chill." The guy who didn't laugh said.

I recognized him, I'd seen him in the cafeteria on my first day and I had seen him this Saturday outside the guys dorm hanging out with a girl with pigtails.

"Let me talk to them." The tall Jamaican looking guy said.

He pulled me and Princess away from the other two jocks.

"My name's DJ." The guy introduced himself. "What is it that you guys came looking for?"

"We need your help in setting something up." Princess said.

"What?"

"As the entire school knows, Duncan and I are on a full blown war with the preps." Princess began. "Well, we want to deal a personal blow to Noah and his prep goons, so we want you and two of your friends to pretend to bull and attack Noah's partial girlfriend Heather so that Duncan can save her, she goes on a date with him and then he breaks her heart."

DJ thought on this for a minute.

"Well I normally wouldn't help out on such a mean plan, but those preps are really mean to me and my girl Katie…So I'll do it." DJ said.

"Alright, my sources…"

"By the way Princess, which are 'your sources'?" I asked her.

"That geek Cody." Princess replied.

She turned back to DJ.

"My sources tell me that Heather goes out to the Shopping District every Friday night…you'll ambush her there, then Duncan swoops in, scares you off, asks her out, takes her to a date and the next day breaks her heart." Princess explained with a devious tone of evil.

"Alright."

---

Then, that Friday, we kicked the plan into action. It began where Princess had said, the Shopping District of Wawanakwa Town. Like Princess had said, Heather was there, she was alone, looking at the storefronts of several expensive brand clothes stores, the typical thing a snobby, preppish bitch like her would do. Unlike my princess, who clearly wasn't interested in this...some times I wonder what she's interested in, but she won't let me into her room at the girls dorm at night, so I guessed for a while I wouldn't know.

But whatever. Now it would be time to make my move. As soon as theJamaican jock guy DJ and the other two jock jerks, Billy and Phil stepped up to Heather and began to threaten her I would pounce forward and scare them off. Nobody would beat up nobody.

The time came. I saw how the three jocks surrounded the prep asian girl. From the distance from which I stood I couldn't tell what they were saying to ehr, but judging from their expressions and her face, I guessed it was some very harsh trash talk. Perfect.

I ran forth towards the place where the jocks were falsely threatening Heather. Along my run down the alley, I grabbed a piece of wood to use as a weapon to scare them even more. When I got to the circle of threats against the prep asian, I said.

"Hey steroid gorillas, back-off!"

The three jocks looked at me and I threateningly raised the piece of wood. As we had agreed, they played along.

"Oh look, it's the Hopkins boy...what do you want, douche?" Billy mocked.

He began to laugh along with his three cronies. These guys were good actoirs. Either that or they were used to mocking people like idiots. I smirked at him and looked at Heather. Then I swung the piece of wood forth and struck billy int he stomach. He winced in pain and backed off. The other two guys looked at me in fake fear and began to rush off. Soon so did Billy run too, but not before dropping a threat about returning to "get even".

I dropped the piece of wood and talked to Heather.

"Hey, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...but I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come along." Heather said.

I got next to her.

"Well, I couldn't let a really hot girl get beaten, now could I?" I said, my usual flirting.

If I had known how much of an annoying and whiny bitch she would be in our date, it would've been really hard for me to flirt with her. Luckily it wasn't. I have an uncanny ability to flirt with any girl. As long as she's hot.

"Well Duncan, you're quite attractive yourself." She said.

She was already throwing herself at me. What a slut. I like that. If only Princess were more like that. Hubba-hubba. Aoooooohhhhhhh!

"Bu aren't you dating that other girl, what's her name...Courtney?" Heather said, spitting out Princess' name.

"Princess? Nah, she's just a friend." I lied.

"Good...Now I know that you are at war with my clique. But maybe we can achieve a peace treaty." She said, putting her hands on my shoulder, as if trying to seduce me. Please, as if she could.

"Well...I can't say no to that, now can I?" I said, looking down at her seductively.

---

Then we went on a date. It was a nightmare. All she did was talk about bullshit all day. She was whiny, annoying and lod...but not in a good way, by which I mean not like Princess. With Princess, her annoyingness was hot. With Heather it was just obnoxious and sickening. God she was such a bitch!

I'm not going to put you through the torture of having to ehar what my date was like with her...because if I did, you would stop reading immediately and would never consider reading another word on this story ever again.

So I'll jsut skip ahead in time.

---

After I dropped off Heather at the girls dorm after our date from hell, I walked around the girls dorm to the back entrance to that dorm, where I had agreed to meet Princess.

As I slowly crept behind the girls' dorm, trying to not let any girl who was inside hear me. I was pretty sure every girl was awake, since it was only eleven PM and lights out at the boys' dorm, and logically at the girls' dorm as well was a twelve PM.

I made it to the back entrance and I saw a figure sitting on the steps that led to the back entrance door of the building. The figure was tall and slender. It was wearing a blue sweater vest and a white shirt. Had brown hair and an amazing rack. It was Princess.

But I noticed something else. She was asleep. I approached her silently, not wanting to wake her up yet. I also noticed yet another thing. She was talking in her sleep and as the curious fellow I am, I listened in to see if she was having a wet dream about me.

"Mahkbskfn." Was the only thing I could make out at first.

But then her words got clearer.

"...mmm...Duncan..."

Now I got real curious.

"Shut up...Duncan..."

I lost interest then, and was about to wake her up when I heard her say.

"If only you were as kind as you're hot..."

3, 2, 1. Blast-off. My ego went to the moon. I was going to tease her with this for life. Because she had actually said it in her only time where somebody's words are completely trustworthy.

"...So annoying..."

Well, I figured it's time to wake her up. I knelt down next to her and flicked her ear. She woke up in a second and glared at me.

"Duncan!"

"What?"

"You woke me up!"

"You said to meet you here after my date with Heather and I did...I'm sorry if I ahd to wake you up from your awesome dream about me where you wished I was as nice as I am hot." I teased her.

At that moment, her face went blank and looked at me as her face exploded into the pinkest blush I've ever seen.

"What happened, Princess? Hot guy got your tongue?" I teased oh-so-happy.

"Whatever!" She yelped.

---

Saturday was the day after that and that was the day that I delivered thew painful blow to the preps. As much as I hated Heather during our date, she instead liked me. She was crushing on me big time. So when I dumped her clean and out in front of her prep girl friends that Saturday morning, she cried ehr eyes out and the preps were shoved out, since the whole school found out I had reduced their hottest girl to tears.

Their image was torn, since I had damaged them physically and emotionally. It felt so fucking good to do that. Princess agreed, since as soon as she saw how badly the preps were damaged, she asked me out to another date that same night.

And there I was with Princess again. This time, much to my displeasure, she had dressed in a fashion much more in accord to her own mentality. She wore olive capri pants, a white shirt and a gray sweater vest and some sandals.

In however, dressed like always with a black shirt with a skull logo. Some black jeans and my red converse shoes.

Like the past date, it was so cool. We walked, we talked and I reallye enjoyed myself. Sure, I loved teasing Princess, but just hanging out with her and talking was also really cool.

Yes, yet again, we wound up next to the beach. Leaning on the same railing as last time. We looked out at the ocean, and I was jsut waiting for ehr to turn to me and kiss me. As soon as she did, I would turn it into making out and we would have an awesome time. I knew Princess wouldn't put out this night. Hell, I knew she wouldn't put out until we were in a real serious relationship. But it was worht it. Hell, I really liked her...so I would wait until she was ready. But hell, she didn't make it easy on me. How come the hottest girls in the world are the ones who make you wait. Maybe that's why they're so hot.

"You know Duncan, I really had a lot of fun tonight...again." She said, remembering our last date the previous week.

"Yeah, me too Princess."

She smield and puckered ehr lips. I smirked and leaned in to her. I didn't expect it myself, but to some extent, I kinda knew something would stop me from getting to her. Guess what? I was right.

"So, you break poor Heather's heart and you go on a date with this working-class skank." A voice called out.

Princess looked at the source of the voice with rage, I believe because she had been called a skank. I looked in anger because the voice just stopped me from getting action. However, from anger our faces turned to shock as we saw how many preps were surrounding us.

There were at least fifteen preps there. Sure, me and Princess proved to be excellent fighters...but not even we could take on fifteen guys at a time. We were so screwed.

"Duncan, prepare to get beaten back to your slimy ghetto...and you too skank!" The prep guy leader threatened. "Let's beat the sh-OW!"

The guy was interrupted halfway when something hit the back of his head, which made him yell. He looked down at the floor and picked up a small pebble. He examined it and then turned around. They stared in shock and me and Princess stared in relief as we saw a hoarde of greaser kids coming at them.

There were at least twenty greasers there. Some had baseball bats, others had slingshots and some were bear-handed. Soem came running, others came in bycicles. But there were a lot of them, and they were angry. Out of them I recognized two. The cowboy hat wearing one, Geoff and the guitarist one who had beaten me on my first day.

"RETREAT!" The lead prep yelled and the preppies began to flee the scene as some greasers chaed them either on foot or on their bikes.

Princess sighed in relief as the preps were chased away by the greasers. However, the two greaseballs I recognized approached Princess and I.

"You guys OK?" The guitarist asked.

"Yeah, we're fine Trent." Princess said.

So that was his name...Trent.

"Why'd you save us?" I glared at Trent.

I think he knew that I was talking to him like this because of what he did on day one.

"Well, we've had a feud with the preps for a long time...and now that you guys are movilizing armies...we decided we might as well join." Trent explained.

"Well then, you better join us now...because this has gone on for long enough!" Princess yelled.

"What do you mean, Princess?" I asked.

"I mean, the preps clearly don't respond to indirect attacks...so we'll hit them directly." She said, an evil tone in her voice.

"How?"

"We'll go right now to the prep residence and we'll storm it. We beat up any prep jackass who stands in our way and we beat up Noah to tell him to fuck off or else he's dead!" Princess delivered her speech with furious passion.

THAT WAS A TURN ON.

"We finish this tonight!" She yelled.

"Right." I said.

"Trent...Geoff." Princess commanded. "You're coming with us."

"Yes ma'am. The two greaseballs said, military response.

This was gonna get good.


	6. The Storming Of The Bastille

It began that same night. It was at around eleven with no teachers or prefects around.

It was a sneak attack. The majority of the preps were either being chased by greasers in town or were at the boxing club. So the attack would be simple.

Princess, Geoff, the jerk Trent and I slowly crept through the courtyard behind the school that diverged into three different paths. One led to the auto shop, the other to the gym area which had a pool, a football field and the gym itself; and the third path, the one we took, which led all the way to the prep dorm.

Princess used to saty there so she would guide us until we reached Noah's room, which she told us was always heavily guarded. The first obstacle we faced however, would be getting through the front door.

We made our way to the front door of the prep residence.

"Alright, getting through this door won't be easy, it's not guarded, but it's always locked, you need a key to get in." Courtney explained.

"Well we don't have time to get one of those." Trent said.

"OK, don't pressure me, let me think." Courtney said.

Princess stood there and thought it out for a second.

"I have an idea. Wait beside me." Princess instructed.

Princess made her way next to the door and me, the fashion impaired greaser and the musician stood beside her. Princess gently knocked on the door and in a minute we heard a voice from the other side of the door who asked.

"Who is it?"

Courtney coughed as if adjusting her voice, which she kinda did.

"It's me, Heather, I wanna go talk to Noah and make up and make out with him." Princess said in a very damn good impersonation of Heather's voice.

"Wait a sec."

We heard locks clicking and then the door was pulled open. As soon as it did, I saw the face of a prep I didn not know. He looked at us shocked for a second before Princess said "Surprise" and sucker punched him in the face, knocking him out.

"Good swing, Princess." I complimented, resting my hand on ehr shoulder.

"Thank you." She said. "Now let's take down the rest of this place."

We walked past the unconcious door guy and intop the entry hall. It was a small box-shaped room with a large teak door to give entry to another room.

"Alright, as soon as we're through that door we're gonna be in the fight of our lives." Princess explained. "We don't look back and we give it all we've got, the strongest preps were being chased around by the greasers, the only ones we actually ahve to fear which may or may not be inside are Alejandro Torres and Justin Taylor; and if Justin is in here...let me take him, I have a score to settle."

Violent, temperamental and vindictive...I dig that in a chick.

"Are you guys ready?" Princess asked.

"Yeah." We all replied in unison.

After this reply, we turned to the door and in a swift movement, I kicked it open. I looked into the room beyond. It looked like a fancy-pansy living room. There were three couches in front of a fireplace, two perpendicular to the northern wall with the fireplace and one parallel. Several chairs were standing in random places and a large wooden table was in the middle of the room. Some stairs at the very end of the room led to a door which seemed to go to the second floor. There was also a door which let you go further into the ground floor, but it didn't matter to us. We had to go up. On the walls were also several decorative plates and I noticed two suits of armor with wooden sowrds in them, appearently the preps weren't trusted with real decorative swords.

Speaking of preps, there were four of them in the room and they were looking at us in anger and disgust.

"What are you commoners doing in our dorm?" One of them asked, angered.

"We're though with your and your attacks." Princess said.

"We're taking this shitty dorm and your stuck-up boss down!" I yelled.

"Duncan, what did I say about swearing?" Courtney glared at me.

"Princess, not the time."

"Sorry."

"You can take this dorm over our dead semi-british bodies." One of them said in a fake british accent. What a fucking poser.

"That's the plan." I said and charged at them.

The greasers and Princess charged along with me and the preppies responded by going for us as well.

I drew first blood when I punched a brow-haired prep across the face, making his nose bleed. He tried to return the favour but I ducked and threw a punch at his stomach and as he bent over to hold onto his gut, I lunged and tackledhim to the ground. Once he was in the floor I threw another punch at his face with my left hand, hitting his forehead, then again at the cheek with a right hook then the same again and again and a third and final time to leave him on the floor and in a lot of pain.

As I got off the guy ont eh floor I watched my pretty Princess jump off a chair and give a blonde prep a flying side kick across the face. Of course, as she jumped off the chair I managed to catch a glimpse of the ass she has, seeing that while wathcing her beat up people is just one of my biggest turn ons. As the prep clutched his face, Princess axe kicked him in the back, shoving him to the floor and just after he got up, she butterfly kicked him, jumping, then swinging her right leg over his head to deliver a devastating kick to the side of his head with her left heel; the force of the kick pushing him against a wall, letting him fall into unconciousness and slowly slide down the wall. Now that's GOTTA hurt.

Geoff also kicked ass. The prep he was fighting lunged for him, trying to tackle him, but Geoff stood his ground and managed to pushg the prep to the floor, going down with him and smashing his head to the floor by landing on his head with his chest. He pulled up the prep and smashed his head against the wall, then he swung him around and threw him face-first into, which broke when the prep landed on it, making the poor asshole hit his face against the floor and I coudl see a faint trickle of blood oozing out of it. Poor bastard.

I didn't manage to see how the dude Trent took down his prep, but the guy he was fighting ended up in the floor right next to the stairs with a couple of bad bruises to his face.

"Come on, let's get moving!" Trent exclaimed.

The douche began to charge up the stairs with all his might. He didn't see the prep that had just opened the door until the guy punched him in the face and knocked him down the stairs. Serves him right for the baseball bat thing. However, I didn't want to have one less trooper in this raid, so as soon as the stairs prep began to charge at Trent, I grabbed the backrest of the broken chair and charged at him. In less than five seconds, I hit the guy with the backrest square in the face and knocked him out to shit. The guy fell off the last step on the stiars and hit his face against the floor, making him let out the sweetest squeal of pain.

"Come on asshole, get up." I told Trent. "Let's go, we have preppie asses to kick."

The little prick did as he was told and all my merry group went up the stairs and through the door into a long hallway. Nobody was there, so we ran through that hall until we reached the last door.  
"Alright guys, this is the door to the games room. In the games room there is a spiral staircase that goes up two floors, leading to a parlour. Through the aprlour you can get to a balcony and walking down the balcony is the entrance to a trophy room and in that trophy room is the door to Noah's bedroom." Princess explained. "We have to make it there and take Noah down!"

"Alright." We chanted.

Princess kicked the door open and inside we saw a standard and expensive games room. Painted blue, with hardwood floors and an expensive red rug ont he floor, you might wonder how a tough guy like me knows about all this sissy deco, well, uh-hum, it was because Princess later told me...I didn't know the sissy stuff from before; I mean it. At the end of the room was the spiral staircase which went up to and into the roof of this floor and onto the next floor. Next to the stairs were two pool tables at least three metres apart from each other and perpendicular to the east wall. About four round tables were scattered around the room with poker cards and poker chips on them. A large couch faced a flat screen TV with a game console against the north wall.

The uncommon thing about the games room was that eight preps were there. Two playing pool, four playing poker and two watching "Friends" on TV.

"What are these poppers doing here?" One of them asked rhetorical and angry.

"We're here to kick your asses!" geoff screamed, voer excited.

"Geoff, you idiot, they're twice our number!" I growled at him.

"Oh."

"They think they can beat us?!" One yelled, high-and-mighty.

"LET'S BEAT THEM BACK TO THEIR GHETTO!"

"Oh shit."

I watched how Geoff ran for the couches and began to run around the couches to avoid the preps chasing him, while Trent fled for the pool tables and me and Princess stood our ground. Two preps a blonde and a black-haired one came after me.

I dodged a punch that came from the black-haired dick and I punched him in the gut. I stuck my hand to his face and shoved him against the wall. Then I punched the blonde in the face and back-slammed by elbow to the black-haired prick's chest as he came at me from behind and then swung my fist up, backhanding the guy in the face and knocking him out.

I snickered at the unconcious guy and then felt a fist hit me in the back of the head. I fell to the floor and then turned around to look at the blonde, who was about to punch me in the face until Princess gave him a flying kick in the back of the head, tossing yhim against the wall and making him fall unconcious next to me.

I looked up and saw Princess standing over me. More importantly, she was standing over me _wearing a skirt_, so I could see _everything_. Well not everything, but a real nice panty shot.

"Need help getting up?" Princess asked, oh-so-beautifully obvlivious.

"No, I think I'll stay under here." I said and looked up ehr skirt again.

Now she noticed. Next thing I knew, my balls were in searing pain and I was twisting on the floor holding my royal jewels to stop them from cracking.

"Serves you right." Princess said, indignant and teasing as she helped me up.

Geoff walked up to me and I saw that the two preps he was fighting were already out on the couches and the two Princess took on were out of it was well. One on the floor and another one on a pile of broken wood that was once a round poker table.

Trent, however...

One prep, who had brown-hair, was holding hi arms behind his back and another one, this one blonde and with a big scar on his cheek was punching his stomach relentlessly.

"We have to help him, dude." Geoff said and was about to run to his help before I stopped him.

"Nah, let them punch him a bit more...he's had it coming for helping those other freaks beat me down with bats." I said, holding Geoff in place.

"Dude, we have to help him!" Geoff exclaimed.

I sighed.

"Fine."

Might as well take the preps out the wasy way. I grabbed two of the decorative porcelain plates that were hanging from the walls and flung them at the preps like frizbees. Both plates hit each prep in their heads and they passed out, releasing the asshole.

"Alright pretty-boy-who's-not-that-pretty-anymore, let's go." I told the musician as he got up.

"Don't move, you working class filth!"

I turned around and saw that five other preps had arrived to the scene.

"You guys go ahead." Geoff said "We'll hold them off."

"We wil?" Trent asked, doubtful.

"Yeah you will!" I said, having already began to run up the stairs, followed by Princess.

I ran up the stairs, which went in circles, going up two floors until we reached the fourth floor...the site of Noah's room.

The ladder let us into a large parlour, almost like the entry hall. However, unlike the entry hall, there weren't several angry preps, there was just one...Alejandro, and he was facing away from us, talking on his cellphone.

"What do you mean the attack failed?!" He yelled.

I signaled for Princess to silently follow me until we managed to tiptoe our way behind Alejandro.

"I know it means you failed...but what I'm asking is HOW?! The greasers?! Fine, whatever, I'm sure that delinquent prick and her working-class slut of a girlfriend..."

Now I was _really_ angry. NOBODY insults my Princess while I'm near.

"...are nearby, get them! No, I'm safe, I'm in the dorm and there's no way he'll ever get inside. Alright, I'll see you later."

Ironic, very fucking ironic.

The prick hung up the phone and then I raised my fist, preparing for a punch, I gave a slight cough to tell the obvlivious dumbass I was behind him. Still, the dick didn't hear me and walked towards the glass door that gave way to the balcony. I followed him, taking normal steps, to let him know I was walking behind him but guess what...the douchebag still didn't notice I was there, so I decided to just do it my way...the brutal and crude way.

"Hey dumbass I'm standing behind you and about to punch you!" I yelled.

Alejandro turned around and didn't seem to register that I had said I was going to punch himsince he did nothing but gawk as my fist slammed into his face. I could literally hear the crack of his nose breaking as my fist hit him and knocked him to the floor.

"That was good that you took him down Duncan, but did you have to call him 'dumbass', you know how I feel about swearing." Princess said, snobily.

"Princes, you really have a knack for picking the worst moments to be disturbingly uptight." I told her, a politer way to say "shut up".

"You jerk, you broke my nose!" Alejandro yelled.

"Oh, stop being a wuss." I said. "I'll fix it."

I pressed both my thumbs to each side of his nose and pushed, snapping the little bone back into place and making him screech.

"Owie, that hurt!"

"Owie? Dude, what are you, five years old?!" I teased him.

"Duncan don't tease him, just let me beat him until he gives us the key to the trophy room." Princess instructed.

I love it when she gets tough, it really turns me on.

"No matter how much you beat me, you won't get the key 'cause I don't have it." Alejandro told us.

"Great, we have to figure out a new way to get in there." Princess bellowed.

"I think I have an idea, Princess." I told her.

About a minute seconds later, we were in front of the locked wooden door to the trophy room in the balcony.

"Ready Princess?" I asked her.

"Ready." She answered.

"Can't you guys just use one of those vases as a battering ram?" Alejandro asked, trying to struggle to get out of my grip.

"Battering rams don't talk, so shut up!" I yelled at him.

Princess and I held tightly onto Alejandro's body and chanted "1, 2, 3, GO" and charged forth, slamming Alejandro's head against the door and smashing it open. The door flew open and we dropped the unconcious but living Alejandro on the floor.

We were in the trophy room. The place was filled with trophies for millions of things, some were cool things like bike races and pool tournaments and others were for boring crap like chess, or painting or boxing which is by the way the gayest sport ever...I mean it is pretty gay, you know, two muscular guys, all sweaty and in silk shorts, fighting for a belt...how gay is that? I have nothing against gay people, but I do hate boxing.

At the end of the room was a big set of "royal" stairs that led to an ominous wooden door which had a sign that said "Noah Harrington" above it. This guy Noah must be a real stuck-up jerk. Seriously.

But the problem was that we weren't in the trophy room alone. There was somebody else there.

"Justin."

---

"Duncan, you run past him and I will take him myself." I told the delinquent next to me.

"You sure Princess, I mean I know you can take care of yourself but he is a pretty big guy." Duncan said, cocnern in his voice.

That is one of the things I like most about Duncan, that he really cares about me. After this is over, maybe we could go out again, after all, he is head-over-heels for me...and I just love having a guy under my thumb. Difference between him and every other guy I have dated is that he has me under his tumb too.

But back to business.

"Don't worry Duncan, I can take him." I whispered to my crush. "Besides, I have a score to settle with him. His ass is mine!"

"I thought you didn't like swears..."

"Just get going!"

Duncan pounced forward and began to run towards the door of Noah's room. Justin was about to go for him when I chased towards my ex-boyfriend and I roundhoue kicked him across the chest.

Something I took a lot of proud in is my martial arts ability. I had studied Tae-Kwon-Do since I was eight to let out all my anger and stress, most of it both coming from my relationship with my parents. They were too hard on me and I could never please neither of them.

But well, nine years later I am seventeen and I am using my amrtial arts training to beat up my ex-boyfriend so my current "boyfriend" could beat-up a junior crime mastermind prep in order to put a balance to the violence in my school.

Are people's lives normally as weird as mine?

"Well Courtney, I see you've returned." Justin, my slimeball ex-boyfriend said.

"Yes and now me and Duncan are going to take down you, Noah and all the preps here." I threatened him, overconfident as always, because I knew we would win.

"Do you really think you can win?" Justin exclaimed.

"YES! I mean, do YOU actually think Noah can beat up Duncan?!" I asked him rhetorically, seriously, you can't think _that_.

"Oh, perhaps not Noah alone, but there are six other guys waiting for Duncan in there, and even he can't take on six guys at once." Justin gloated.

Oh shit. I had to warn Dunkie!

I charged to get past him, but Justin caught me and shoved me back to were I stood.

"I'm afraid I can't let you go there." He told me. Who does he think he is? Nobody can stop Courtney Emilie Rodriguez.

"Like you could stop me..." I growled.

"Oh, I think I can..."

Then, Justin ripped his sweater and shirt off, exposing his chiseled chest and awesome body. On an average girl, him ripping off his shirt would make them fall under his spell...on me, it does nothing. Like I said, nobody can stop Courtney Emilie Rodriguez.

"Hey brainwad, that did not work when we were dating and it is not going to work now!" I yelled before charging towards him.

I tried to give him a jump kick to the chest, but he managed to deflect it with his right arm. I would need heavier artillery. I forward to the stairs and grabbed a wooden railing from the side of the stairs. I tugged mightily and ripped the railing off, getting myself a weapon. I rule.

Unluckily, Justin did the same as me and also got himself a weapon. I took hold of my weapon and held it like a katana, ready to pounce and attack that piece of braindead eye candy that was my ex.

I pounced forward and lashed out with my "katana", trying to deliver a blow to his ehad, but he managed to deflect it with his sword. I continued to do this for god knows how long. It was a long battle, since every time I struck, he always deflected the blow, I just couldn't land any hits.

So while we battled, an idea came to mind. I ahd to find his weakness, something to distract him in order to beat him. Then it hit me...the weakness of every guy in the world. Girls. I realized what I had to do.

After repeatedly striking out I leaped into the air, pushing my legs as further apart as I could and jumped over Justin, letting him look up my skirt. When I landed I saw the bewildered look on his face and I knew I had him. Before he coudl recompose, I lashed out with my weapon and struck him in the stomach. While he clutched hismelf, I swung for his arm, hitting him and forcing him to drop his weapon. I delivered another key blow to his chest and as he doubled over I struck his back, then I swung the stick over his shoulder and alshed upward to his forhead. The blow made contact and when he swung upwards from the force of the blow I crouched and delivered a circular motion blow to his ankles, knocking him to the ground. He moaned in pain and squirmed like the little worm he is.

"Sweety, I'm sorry if I dumped you, I really regret it now...can we please get back together?" Justin pleaded.

"Do you really mean that?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said, getting up.

I helped Justin up on his feet and as he leaned in to kiss me, I grinned wickedly and shot my knee into his testicles. He squirmed in pain and grunted as he collapsed on the floor.

"That's for dumping me and for hurting my boyfriend, you bastard!" I yelled at him.

I kicked him in the face one last time, effectively knocking him out.

Wow, I really kicked his ass. I was really turned on. I had to go find Duncan.

---

I made it through the door to Noah's room and I looked inside. The room looked really fucking expensive, btu I'm not gonna describe in detail, I had to get to Noah while Princess was distracting Justin.

I noticed that a window was open and that outside the window were some stiars leading to the roof. The chickenshit coward must've heard me coming and fled. No matter, I'll still kick his ass. I climed out the window and up the ladder and into the roof.

There he stood, the mighty asshole.

He had shortish-long brown hair, with sidebursn and a lot of hair sticking out to the side, along with a messy mullet on the back of his head. He wore the same clothes every prep did; beige pants, a while shirt and a light blue sweater vest over it. But, he was armed, he was holding a croquet mallet, but it was not enough to defeat me.

"Well Duncan, it seems that you ahve come further than I imagined. I figured that if you got through all my previous goons Justin would stop you but appearently he did not, I'll have to get him for failing at that later." Noah said, all high-and-mighty. "No matter, you still won't beat me."

"Please, dumbass, just give up now...no matter how many weapons you have, you're still a tiny, weak geek." I threatened him. "I could kick your ass with no legs."

"That's a paradox you incompetent baboon, you can't 'kick' anyone without legs." He yelled at me. "Could you be any dumber!?"

"You know what I mean dickwad!" I yelled. "Now, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"I don't think so." Noah said and snapped his fingers.

Then, I felt several hands grab me fro behind. I turned to look behind me, seeing six preps there. If Noah thought he could beat me with his goons, he was wrong. Since his goons failed to notice that the edge of the roof was very close to them and that a pretty hard balcony was pretty close below. I pushed backwards with all my strength and all six preps stumbled behind, making them all fall over the edge and onto the balcony below, all hurt and or unconcious.

"Morons." I said to myself looking down at them.

Then, I felt something heavy hitting me in the back and I collapsed on the floor, maoning in pain. A second later, the same feeling hit me in the side of the body, forcing me onto my back and to scream again. Then, the heavy object pressed against my chest and I saw it was Noah pushing his croquet mallet against my chest.

"I didn't think my goons would be dumb enough for that to happen, but since it did...I'm forced to kick your ass myself and that makes me really cranky...and I get violent when I'm cranky." Noah said.

Before I could insult him, he hit me with the mallet on the side of the body again, dropping me on my stomach. When I tried to get up, he hit me in the back and then the side of the head, throwing me on my back again. God that hurt.

He pressed the head of the mallet against my chest again and leaned in to my ear.

"When I'm done with you I'll make sure your dumb girlfriend gets a similar treatment." He whispered.

OK, now I was mad. Nobody threatens Princess.

He raised his mallet to hit me in the face with the head in a downward strike, but when he pushed down I caught the head with my hands and said.

"Nobody threatens my girl!"

I pushed the head forward and made the cane of the mallet hit him in the forehead. He yelped in pain and backed off, holding his forehead, lketting go of the mallet and surrendering the fight, since he had lost his only weapon.

"Ow, you dumbass, I'm gonna..."

Then he stopped talking when he saw I was already up and holding his mallet. I swiftly swung the mallet onto my knee and broke it in two, then swinging each half off the roof.

"Oh shit."

Before he could take to run, I swung my fist at his gut, making contact. H ecluthced himself and yelped as I hit his face ponce, then again, and again, and again a final time, knocking him to the ground in great pain.

"Alright asshole, I'm gonna tell you this once and you better remember it." I said to him, poking him in the face where I had hit him. "Now _you_ work for _me_, you do as I say. Now, you and your preppy bastard friends will stop bullying everybody else and you'll leave me and Princess alone, OK."

"Fine, but tell me one thing...why'd you dump Heather? I mean, she's the best chick I know." The geek said.

"Seriously, dude, the girl's an annoying bitch and also, I really like Princess, she's nice and sweet and she's cool and..."

"Dude, I'm already in pain without havinto listen to how much you love your girlfriend, so will you please let me pass out in peace." Noah said and then passed out.

"What a wuss." I said to myself.

"Duncan..."

I turned around and saw her. Princess was standing there. Oh god, for how long has she been there? I hoped she hand't hear what I said about ehr, 'cause then she'd get all lovey-dovey and she would stop giving me those little fights that turned me on so much.

Without a word, Princess ran towards me and kissed me. Finally, I'd been wanting this for a long time. Unexpectedly, she slid her tongue into my mouth and then the tongue wrestling begun, there was no way I'd let her beat my tongue. God this chick was hot. The making out went on for a long time until she finally let go, teasing me by leaving me wanting more.

"Come on, Dunkie, we have to go." She said.

"Why do we have to go now, can't we make out a little more?" I pleaded.

"We have to go because if some prefect comes along and sees we beat up half the preps in the school, we will get expelled and we can make out again on our next date." Princess said, smiling in her usual superior way.

"Oh come on Princess?" I pleaded.

"No."

"Come on..."

"Will you two just leave and let me suffer the pain of a beat down alone!" Noah yelled at us.

Princess glared at him and then kicked him in the face, knocking him out again.

"You know watching you do that really turns me on, girlfriend." I told her.

"Stop being such a pig and I am not your _girlfriend_." She replied, corssing her arms and closing her eyes in behemoth denial.

"Well then, we don't go out on a date next Friday." I said.

She sighed.

"Fine I am your girlfriend." She said.

"Really?"

"Yes, but only because you're so nice."

"Hey, I'm not nice."

"Whatever, Dunkie."

Ah, Princess and her teasing. She drives me crazy...in a good way.

**---**

**The longest chapter I've written for this story yet. Please tell me what you think. Review**

**Also, now that the conflict with the preps is over, what clique do you think should be Duncan's next enemy, I've already decided who it will be, but try to guess.**

**Please review**

**Gracias Totales. **


	7. Halloween

Well, the following month and a half went on perfectly well. The preps, as per forced to promise, didn't disturb either me or Princess. Classes went on regularily and I didn't get any shit from Principal McClean over the whole "storming the prep dorm and kicking their asses" episode, so I figured nobody told a thing.

You'd think that after having the excitement of being in brutal, action-packed fights every week I'd find life a little dull now. Wel,, I do admit I miss kicking prep ass, but hell, now I have something better to do every weekend than kick ass.

"Hey Duncan!"

I get to date Princess. Who would've thought..the Princess went for the ogre. If we ever have sex maybe I could get her to do a princess-ogre cosplay...that would be kinky. But well, speaking of costumes, Courtney was holding two costume bags in her hands. Oh, did I forget to mention tonight is Halloween? Well, because it is.

"Yeah Princess, what's up?" I asked her.

I was resting on my bed in my room when she came in. I don't know why they allow girls in the boys dorm and they don't allow dudes in the girls' dorm. But whatever, not important right now.

"I got us costumes for the party tonight." Princess answered.

I looked out the window and saw that the sun was already starting to set.

"_You_ got _us_ costumes, Princess please tell me you didn't get me some wussy prince costume or some shit like that." I whined.

"Don't be rude Duncan." My girlfriend scolded me. "Besides, I think I got you something you'll like."

She tossed me the costume bag she was holding in her left hand and told me to open it. When I did, inside I found the jacket of a grey tweed suit.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Look further inside." She instructed.

I did as she told me and found a white collar shirt, a red tie, matching grey tweed pants, a grey fedora, some loafers and; this is my favourite, a tommy gun.

"Is this a tommy gun?" I asked her, excited.

"It's only a replica." She told me. "Now look at mine."

She opened her costume bag and showed me a white shirt, a long pink dress, white stilettos, a red bandana and a black beret. She also had her own replica tommy gun.

"What are these?" I asked her, doubtful.

"Don't you get it?" Princess asked me, scowling.

I shook my head.

"Duncan...it's Bonnie and Clyde." She said, with a "you're sto stupid" expression on her face.

"Well sorry Princess, the costumes weren't too specific. But why Bonnie and Clyde? I mean, I'm a criminal, but you're not." I gloated.

"I think helping you storm into a rich kid dorm and kick evertone's ass makes me as much of a criminal as you, tough guy." She said, poking my chest as she did.

"Makes you a criminal, but not one as good as me; you've never been to juvie or gotten expelled from a school. But I'll give you thsi, you are the hottest criminal girl I've ever seen."

As I said this I backed her against a wall and put my arms on both her sides, pinning her. I slowly leaned into her ear and whispered.

"You have no idea how hot you are."

Then, I attacked her lips. Soon we were making out on my bed, both the costumes dropped on the floor. But as I started to slide my hand up her skirt to feel that wonderful butt, she slapped my hand away. It was a hars slap. She was suprisingly strong.

"Not yet Dunkie." She told me and got off me.

"Come on princess, please. Just a little more making out." I pleaded.

"Maybe later whent the costume party is over." She said. "I'm going to go change in my room and I want you to pick me up at eight so we can go to the party."

"Fine."

She walked off. That bitch, she left me all horny and needy.

---

About an hour later, I had already changed into my costume. I had to admit, I looked really cool in the costume. Screw Clyde Barrow, I'm a much cooler criminal than him.

I picked up my fake tommy gun and walked out of my room. I walked out the door of the dorm but had trouble getting down the concrete stairs that gave way because of the couple sucking face on the stairs. The greaseball Geoff and that blonde girl he always hangs out with.

"Yo, tonsil tennists, will you move?!" I yelled at them.

They pulled off each other. He was wearing a cowboy costume and she was wearing a mermaid suit.

"Oh, hey Duncan." Geoff said. "This is my girl, Bridgette."

"Hi." The blonde girl said.

"Yeah hi." I told her. "Now could you make way, I have to go pick up Princess."

They moved, but the blonde girl, Bridgette shot me a death glare.

I walked across the courtyard that serparated the boys' dorm from the girls' dorm. There, sitting on the front porch of the girls' dorm was my Princess; or rather now, my Bonnie.

"Well, hello there, _Bonnie._" I teased her. "You're looking hot this lovely evening."

"You're not so bad yourself, _Clyde_." She replied. "Now let's go to the party, with these outfits, we might win the best costume awards."

"I really don't care about that." I told her.

She snickered and then wrapped her arms around my neck. She leaned into my ear and whispered.

"If we win, I'll make out with you."

This was followed by her slightly kissing my ear. Where the hell did she learn how to tease like that?!

"Let's hurry Princess, we have a contest to win!" I exclaimed and wrapped my arm around her waist, making her walk with me.

---

About two hours later I was getting a little tired from the partying. The halloween party was surprisingly wild for a school party. Everywhere I saw, people in costumes were dancing madly. The geeks we had met, Cody and Harold were dressed as those characters from Star Wars, what were their names, oh yeah, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader respectively. The jock DJ, was dressed in a gorilla costume and the greseball musician Trent was in an Elvis suit.

Well, I decided to take a breather and go for some fresh air outside the gym. Princess ahd left a while ago because she had gotten tired and I told her I'd meet her at 11 PM at the girls' dorm so we could go for a walk.

I stood outside, looking up at the sky. It was a perfectly clear night and all the stars were out and the moon was full. Too bad Princess wasn't here, she gets all sensible and kissy when these kinds of romantic settings turn up. I love corrupting her "innocence". Let's face it, the way she kicked ass, she wasn't too innocent.

But whatever, it was a clear and nice night. Good for stargazing. Would've been a nice night if it wasn't for what was to come.

"Well, well, well, Duncan-boy. I see you've taken to stargazing, eh."

Well, recognizing the voice and knowing nobody else called me Duncan-boy, I knew who was the guy over there.

I turned to face that asshole again. Ezekiel Smith, standing there in all his majestically douchebaggish glory. He was wearing an Alex DeLarge costume from one of my favourite movies, _A Clockwork Orange_. The costume was a white shirt plastic eyeball cufflings, white pants, white suspenders, black loafers a black bowler hat, a cane and black make-up under the left-eye that made it look like he had an extra long eye-lash. The only thing I could think of as I gave him a death glare was how much I would then enjoy to kick his fucking ass in half and rip that fucking annoying grin off his fucking face.

"You're gonna fucking die, you prick." I threatened him.

"I highly d'oobt that, Duncan." Said the cocky bastard with his annoying accent.

That accent made me want to tear out his damn vocal chords.

"You know, you're probably the most strange-ass kid in this school and I'm speaking about a school in which one freak is always beating some other freak." I told him.

"Well, everybdoy is strange. People are strange when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone, women seem wicked when you're unwanted and streets are uneven when you're down Yeah, when you're strange faces come out of the rain and no one remembers your name." He said.

"What the fuck does that mean?!" I yelled.

"Ask Jim Morrison." He told me, for once I heard no trace of the accent.

"You're crazy!" I yelled again. "And I'm going to beat the shit out of you for setting the preps on me!"

"That's what I came to talk about...you may have taken down the preps, but rest assured that you will not beat me, I'm just going to set somebody else on you and this time, I'll make sure personally that they take you out." Ezekiel said.

"That's it!"

I charged at him, fist up in the air and ready to strike. That was when he reached for the clutch ornament of his cane and pulled, releasing a concealed knife from inside the cane. Fuck I forgot that Alex DeLarge had one of those.

He raised the knife and I stopped dead in my tracks as he aimed it at me.

"I'm not going to fight you, for coming into close contact with you could make me catch your stupidity virus." He said, holding the knife clsoe to my chest. "But I will make sure that you get your wits beaten into you for daring to question me. Before this school year is over, Duncan-boy, you'll be either taking orders from me or dead."

"Fuck y-"

Before I could finish, he pulled the knife away and swung the cane forward, hitting my face. I fell onto my knees facing away from hin and clutched my cheek where he had struck. As I was getting up, I felt the cane hit the back of my head and then it was lights out.

---

"Duncan wake up!"

My eyes hot open and found myself looking up at Princess.

For a second I wondered where I was and then my memory came back to me and I remembered what had happened with Ezekiel. Fuck.

"Duncan, what happened?" Princess asked me.

"What? Oh yeah, I met that dumb fuck Ezekiel out here and he threatened me...he said something about strange people and then said that he'd set more cliques on me until I was beaten." I told her. "But I'm not worried."

"How come you're not worried! That guy threatened to get the other cliques to attack you, he could be dead serious and that could bring a lot of trouble." Courtney went hysterical.

"Princess, don't worry, you and me, we're the toughest people in this crazy hellhole...we can take on anybody and beat them." I reassured her. She was pretty cute when she was worried. I liked that.

"I guess."

I put my hand on her cheek to reassure her and then kissed her. When I moved in my mouth to make out, she pulled away.

"Hey, what gives?"

"We didn't win the best costume contest, so you don't get your make out session." She told me.

OK, now that was a cheap shot.

"Come on Princess?!" I pleaded angrily.

"OK, but first we have to go for a walk, then we'll make out." She said.

My angry glare turned to a smile.

"Well, I always like a woman who takes charge." I remarked and shot her my trademark smirk.

"Come on." She said.

Princess held out her hand and I took it. She pulled me up and then we went for a walk. Like she promised, later that night we went made out. So there was a happy ending for everyone that Halloween night.

---

**Well, this chapter wasn't very joke or action packed, but that's because I wrote it in one hour as a filler chapter, for the better stuff will come soon. **

**Anyway, here's a little contest, whomever manages to figure out where ezekiel's "Strange People" speech came from and what it means will get a special prize which will be revealed when somebody wins. Good luck **

**Review please.**


	8. Protection Gig

**Now here's my little author's note. About the small contest that I had placed in the previous chapter, I have this comment. The user "Skull and Bones" correctly discovered that Ezekiel's dialogue was an extract from one of my favorite songs "People Are Strange" by The Doors…but he did not say what it meant. CarmillaD figured out the song as well and said what it was about. Yet nobody figured out why Ezekiel said it. If you want to find out what the song has to do with Ezekiel, **** send me a PM and I'll tell you.**

**Furthermore, since CarmillaD did manage to say what the song is about, she technically won, but since she is an anonymous contestant the award goes to all of the readers. The price is an anagram which gives a major hint of what is to come in the story. Here you go:**

**eaBrew fO hfCe thHceat**

**If you manage to figure that one out, you will have a major hint for the story. Here's a hint, the first letter of each word is in capital letters. Here's the story.**

**---**

It was about a month after the whole Ezekiel in Halloween incident that trouble came up again for me. It was December already and snow had already begun to fall at Wawanakwa Town. You can obviously assume that with the snow really cold weather came so people started wearing snow clothes…seriously if you didn't realize that by now then you're dumber than Courtney's ex Justin.

As I was saying before, it was December fifth and snow had already covered the academy's grounds. Everybody wore winter clothes and I had already left the dorm wearing by black snow jacket and snow pants along with a black and red wool hat.

I walked from the exit of the guys' dorm to the girls' dorm and there she was. As every day, my Princess stood there on the exit of the dorm. She was wearing a grey sweater and pants of the same color along with a grey and olive wool cap which had a fluffy olive green ball on the top. I always hated winter, but now I hated it more than ever, because now thanks to it I wouldn't get to see Princess in a skirt for three more months. There go my amusement in peeking up her skirt. Hell, she was still as pretty as ever, though.

"Good morning, Duncan." Princess said.

"Hey Princess, how you doing?" I asked her, imitating Joey Tribbiani.

She giggled and blushed. It was pretty easy to make her happy; I just have to talk to her without using sexual innuendos. Believe it or not, it's very fucking hard for me to talk to a woman without using sexual innuendos, especially one as hot as Princess. But she was well worth the trouble.

She locked arms with me and we began to walk for the main school building when we suddenly saw a greaser kid running towards us. We let go of each other and got in our battle stances.

Sure, us and the greaseballs were in some sort of truce, I myself had made a friend out of the weird cowboy greaser Geoff. He was cool to hang out with, but he was kinda annoying. If he ate even a little sugar he got extremely hyper. I seriously don't want to know what he does if he ever gets drunk. Also, whenever he was with his girlfriend, they're always making out. It's extremely annoying to hear those two make out; even worse, Geoff's room in the dorm is the one next to mine and we share a wall, so whenever she sneaks in at night I have to hear them hump like rabbits all night, they barely let me sleep. Those horny jerks.

Courtney had also gotten really friendly with Geoff's girlfriend, Bridgette I think she was called, but anyway there was still tension between us and the grease-heads because of their half-assed leader Trent. I was still pissed with the douche over the whole thing the first day when he attacked me. I originally wanted to kick his ass, but Princess told me to keep him as an ally, since it would be better. But if he ever slips up again, I swear to god I'll beat him to shit and take his clique by force.

As I was saying, that weirdo greaseface I didn't know came up to us and we had assumed battle stance, since we still didn't trust the greasers, but instead of attacking he stopped and he didn't strike. He was panting a lot, so he probably ran all the way here from a long way out. This dick had something important to say.

"Dude…Duncan-Duncan-I-I gotta tell you…tell you something." The greaser said.

"Hurry it up dick; I'm with my girl here." I told him.

"Duncan! Don't be rude." Princess scolded me. "This poor idiot is clearly tired, so no matter how annoying he is you have to treat him well."

"Fine."

The jerk caught his breath and then said.

"Dude, the greasers, we need your help." The guy said.

"Help with what?" I asked.

"Dude, I don't really know…it's just that Trent told me to tell you to meet him at three thirty in the workshop where he and his band rehearse every afternoon." The greaser said.

"Wait. Trent? Trent Vincent asked for my help?"

"Yeah."

"Well tell him no…I hate that dick." I answered.

"Duncan…it's a good idea to make allies." Princess said.

"I don't care Princess; the guy beat me with a baseball bat. If I helped a guy with a baseball bat it would be as if the Italians helped the Nazis during World War II." I answered angrily.

"The Italians did help the Nazis during World War II." The greaser told me.

"You want _me_ to beat _you_ with a bat?!" I yelled at him.

The greaser backed off and shook his head.

"Bottom line is I'm not helping dickwad Trent Vincent. I'll never, no matter what you say." I yelled at him and pushed him aside, making space for me and Courtney to walk past him. Just as I was al most gone, he said:

"He'll pay you a hundred bucks!"

Scratch my last statement.

"Trent Vincent needs my help you say, huh? Fine I'll do it. Tell your jerk boss we'll be there this afternoon." I told the geeky greaser, who ran off to tell his boss.

Meanwhile, Princess and I went on towards the school.

"Whatever happened to 'I'll never help Trent Vincent'?" Princess teased.

"Hey, I didn't think there was money it. If he had told me he was gonna pay me from the start I would've said yes. I mean, after all money makes the world go round." I explained.

"Dunkie…you and I think very similarly." Princess teased.

She snuggled closer to me, make my heart speed. I hate it when she does that, it makes me feel wussy…you know, because of the feelings she makes me feel. Who did she think she was? Nobody makes me feel feelings.

After another lame day of school at lame old Wawanakwa Academy I made my way out of the school building and caught up with Princess as we walked towards the greaser base of operations in the school…the workshop.

Once we got into the shop bit of the school grounds, the only kind of students you saw were greasers. There were black leather jackets everywhere. What a bunch of posers. After dodging through two rooms filled with jerk dudes in leather jackets and chicks in similar attire, we made it to a room which had a sign spray-painted on. It said "Band Room", in bright red, badly painted letters.

In front of the door was another greaser. He was standing there as if he was a bouncer or something.

"Dude, I'm Duncan…your asshole boss wants to talk to me." I told him.

"Duncan! No swearing!" My shrill girlfriend scolded for the millionth time this year.

"Alright, get in." The dude said.

I started going through the door with Princess when the bouncer stopped her.

"No girls allowed." He said.

Swiftly, Princess shot her knee up and struck him in the groin, crushing his balls. Huh, it's actually fun to watch when she doesn't do it to me.

The guy fell on his knees to the floor and whined.

"But we can make an exception this time."

"I thought so." Princess said and walked in with me.

Princess and I got into the band room and there we met the schools elite band.

Behind the drums was my dear friend Geoff. In base and rhythm guitar were two jerk greasers I didn't know and on lead guitar and in front of a microphone was the jerk Trent.

"Hey Duncan dude!" Geoff called out from behind the drum kit.

"Hi guys, I'm so glad you came." Trent said.

"Whatever dude, the jerk you sent to give me the message said you'd pay me to do something." I told him.

"That jerk was my brother." Elvis said.

"So? My brother's a jerk too." I told him.

He was, my big brother was a jerk. He was cool, but he was still a jerk. He did teach me a lot of cool skills like car mechanics and a lot of other stuff, something which unfortunately backfired on him since the skills he taught me later helped me in my crime sprees. Fortunately there in Wawnakwa Academy those skills would work for good. Bless good old Wawnakwa Academy, the only place in the world were I could use my violent skills…for peace.

"Well, anyway." Elvis said. "I do have a job for you."

"Speak up Elvis, will ya?" I told him.

"Duncan, don't be rude!" Princess squealed.

She turned to Trent.

"Trent, what job did you want us to pull?" She asked, all in her fake sweet voice.

If there's one thing that I knew about Courtney was that she was an excellent actress. She could fake being sweet to cover up her true inner criminal very well. Duncan had to admit he had fallen for all three Courtney's. The fake sweet one, the middle-one, which was her feisty annoying side and her inner criminal

"Well, you see I kinda have a date tonight." Trent started.

"Dude, it's nice to hear about your love life but I don't care about your love life so cut to the chase." I rushed him, getting impatient.

"Don't rush me dude…I have a date tonight and I'm afraid the jocks might burst in and ruin it all so I want you to pull security so nothing goes wrong." Trent burst out.

"Why would the jocks want to ruin your date?" Princess asked, as confused as me.

"Well, I think they'll try because of who I'm going out with." Trent said.

"Dude, will you cut to the chase and say who you're dating!" I yelled at him, having gotten sick of all the postponing.

"Lindsay Petersen." Trent spat out.

Princess' jaw suddenly dropped.

"You're taking out Lindsay Petersen?!" She exclaimed in shock. "Trent, there is no doubt that the jocks will try to sabotage you. You really need our help."

"Who's Lindsay Petersen?" I asked Princess.

My girl turned towards to me.

"Lindsay Petersen is the school's head cheerleader and quarterback Tyler Thompson's ex-girlfriend." Princess explained.

I thought about for a second and then remembered my first day here when Ezekiel showed me around and the time Princess and I rigged that stink bomb. That was when I remembered.

"Oh right. The blonde cheerleader with the huge tits!" I exclaimed. Big mistake.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Princess yelled.

Oh shit. I was boned.

"What? Don't worry Princess your boobs are much better." I tried to defend myself.

"I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

Before Princess could pounce on me and tear me apart limb by limb, Trent interrupted.

"So, are you going to help me?" Trent asked.

Princess cleared her throat, straightened her face and retracted her knife-sharp clothes from my throat.

"Yes, we will take the job." Princess said, faking niceness again.

"Cool, I'll pay you when the date is over." Trent said.

"Now Dunkie…come with me, we have to talk."

Princess grabbed me by the collar of my jacket and began to pull me away. I was so dead. Note to self, comment on women's bodies only in my mind.

Princess dragged me away from the greasers, or anybody for that matter. It would seem it was so that we could talk without anyone hearing, but I knew it was so that she could murder me without any witnesses.

When we got to the school parking lot, Princess began to talk.

"That girl with huge tits?!" She exclaimed.

"Look Princess, I was just saying something that's true, she does have big tits..." I tried to defend myself.

"You're only making your grave deeper!" She yelled at me.

Her angry face remained but then it blended in with a sad one, though she wasn't teary eyed I could tell she was hurt. Shit.

"You're attracted to her!" She accused me.

I had to admit that Lindsay was fucking hot. But I wasn't into her, I mean, I'd talked to her once and she was so fucking stupid. Sure, I like them hot, but I lik it when my dates have enough brains to talk back when I talk to them.

"OK, Princess even though I admit I think Lindsay is hot..."

"Duncan, your grave is so deep right now, it reaches China..."

"Let me finish. I think she's hot, but I don't like her, I mean have you talked to Lindsay, she's so dumb she can't answer when you talk to her. I might like 'em hot, but I also like 'em smart, tough, independant and mean." I told her, giving her my good smirk, the one that made her blush.

As I thought she blushed and all anger vaporized from her face. I hugged her and she hugged back.

"I'm sorry I got mad, it's just that I've already been betrayed by a guy I cared about before and I don't want it to happen again...much less with you." She told me.

"Don't worry Princess, you're the girl for me, I like you 'cause you're smart, tough and all that jazz. Besides, you've got a pretty nice pair yourself." I teased her.

She pushed herself off me and punched me playfully in the arm.

"Shut up." Princess giggled.

She took me by the hand and pulled me away.

"Let's go."

That same night Princess and I, dressed in our street clothes, mine by total bad-ass jeans and Metallica shirt and Princess in her conservative little outfit; walked out towards Wawnakwa Town. Shew clung tightly onto my arm as we made our way to the small city that was to be the home of all the academy's students.

Trent had told us that he and Lindsay would be having dinner at Wawanakwa Town's only italian restaurant, a place called "Il Piccolo Buco di Merda". Didn't know what it meant and I franly didn't care.

Anyway, Courtney and I got to said restaurant and looked inside through a huge square window next to the entrance door. Lindsay and Trent were already at their table and were looking through their menus, meaning they had gotten there not too long before.

"Alright, now we wait here and if any jocks come along, we beat them down." Princess instructed.

"Sounds like a plan." I told her.

We both sat down on a small wooden bench in front of the restaurant and stood, or rather sat, guard.

"So Duncan, how's classes?" She asked, trying to make small talk.

"Boring same old same old..."

"Why are you with me?"

Sudden.

"Huh?"

"Why are you dating me? I mean, that comment you made about Lindsay earlier, I know you like me but why, I mean you clearly find girls like Lindsay more attactive, so why'd you go after me?" She asked, suddenly insecure.

Somehow, that made me feel good. The normally so confident Courtney was actually unsure about herself because of me. Now that felt really good.

"Princess, you know that I started hanging out with you because you were the only one who offered and when you spend a lot of time with somebody you see through the million layers of shrill and annoying talk to see there's a really hot, cool girl beneath." I teased yet answered honestly.

I really did think that under all that shrill conservative attitude was a hot, fun, cool, smart girl. I dug that girl.

"Duncan, sometimes you can be so sweet and such a jerk at the same time." She said playfully and looked me in the eyes.

She put her "I wanna kiss you" face and then began to lean into me when I leaned into her. Our lips crashed and we kissed again. Felt so good.

"Well, well, well, a couple of love birds." Somebody teased.

We pulled away and looked at two jocks who were walking to the restaurant.

"Shut up dickwad!" I yelled at the one who said that.

As they began to head for the entrance of the place, Princess stepped in front of them.

"I'm afraid we can't let you in." She said.

"Alright Rodríguez you better move, we have a job to do." The insulting jock said.

"So do we."

Princess jumped up and gave the insulting jock a reverse jump kick, her heel impacting against the guy's cheek and sending him crashing into a wall. The crash against the wall knocked the guy out.

The quiet jock began to lunge for my girl, but I managed to catch him by the gut first, swinging my fist into hsi stomach. As he keeled over briefly, I gave him an upward hook to the chin and then a right-going one to the face, dropping him on the floor. I kicked him a couple of times until he was very hurt, but not out cold, just very hurt.

Then, out of nowhere, something hit me in the side of the face. I looked down at what hit me and saw it was a football. I looked up at from where the ball ahd come from and saw four jocks, two skinny ones and two big ones coming at us.

Suddenly, a disc shaped object flew at the jocks. Princess had thrown a garbage cna lid at them. It struck one in the face and he fell to the floor unconcious.

The other three stopped dead in their tracks in front of us.

"Look, we don't want any trouble, so if you let us pass, we'll ruin that jerk Trent's date and leave you guys alone." One of the jocks, whom I recognized to be Billy said.

"No way dude, he's paying us to keep him safe." I told Billy.

"How much?" He asked.

"$100." I answered.

"We'll pay you $110 to back off and let us beat him." Billy offered.

"Deal." Princess said.

Billy reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill.

"This one's a down payment, collect the other bit at the gym tomorrow at four o'clock." Billy said.

Princess toom the money.

"Alright Duncan let's go." She said.

Princess and I allowed the three jocks to step through as we walked away with our newly adquired money.

"Do you think Trent will retaliate because of this?" She asked me.

"Maybe, but he we can totally kick his ass."

"Duncan, what did I tell you about saying the word 'ass'?"

"That I can only use it when saying 'Princess has a hot ass'." I teased and then slapped her ass.

She kicked my balls and giggled at me while I cluthced myself.

I really like her, but I hate it when she does that.

---

**Review please.**


	9. Breaking The Camel's Back

**Well ladies and gentlemen, the day we've been waiting for since December 10****th**** 2009 has finally come. The Total Drama Action reunion special shall air this very April 6****th****. Unfortunately it's just in the US, but the fact that it's coming on is good enough. If you've seen the trailer you'll see that Duncan and Courtney are a cute couple once again; Courtney is nice again, Trent is sane again, Heather has her hair again, Gwen is tough again and Noah gets a decent part. So my expectations are high. **

**Anyways, back to the story.**

**---**

About three weeks after Princess and I bailed on helping Trent with his date did the next interesting thing happen. After the disastrous date, Lindsay left Trent and thus Tyler and him began disputing for the girl.

This amde all the idiot followers of those two major idiots fight against each other. The jocks and the greasers had never been enemies before, but now they were brawling like hell. Greasers suspended their normal conflcit with the preps and reduced their bullying of the nerds so they could kick jock ass. The jocks also loosened up on the nerds to fight their new enemies. Frankly, I was starting to think the school was getting back its sanity when two dudes started fighting over a chick and suddenly the entire hellhole was at war. I hope you can understand why I think that that place was a crazed shitcliff.

Well anyway, the next interesting thing that happened, happened one Friday night three weeks after we left Trent behind to get beaten up by the jocks. By the way, the next day Trent showed up to school with a black eye and a bloodied and swollen face. When he walked in to biology class I laughed my ass off, especially when the teacher, Mr. Dissectyourbut used him as an example of face trauma saying, and I quote:

"See this ugly kid here, he is this ugly because he has severe face trauma. Some of it may be permanent so he might be ugly forever and never again get laid."

Anyway, three weeks after the incident, it was Friday and Princess and I were in our snow clothes walking down the street of Wawanakwa Town. We had just left the town's only Italian restaurant "Il Piccolo Byco di Merda" when the following messed up thing happened.

"So, Duncan what's your favourite band?" Princess asked me.

"Mettalica, babe." I answered.

"I mean a band that plays real music." She said.

"Thrash is real music and it's the supreme genre." I told her.

"Whatever, Dunkie."

"Don't call me that, Princess."

"You know, I liked it better when I was the teasER and you were the teasEE." I grunted.

"I beg to differ."

All of a sudden, I felt a hand wrap around my neck and another one placing a rag at my mouth. I struggled for a second and managed to raise the dick who was holding the cloth to my mouth in the air with my back, but then things started getting hazy, like the time I toked up during my friend Steve's party a year before I came to Wawanakwa. All of a sudden, unlike the time I'd gotten high, it was lights out.

---

I woke up some time later. When I opened my eyes a little and looked about. I saw I was in a darkened room and that I was tied to a chair. I also saw Princess in a similar situation and she was begining to wake up too. Then I proceeded to explain my feelings at the time in a sofisticated and proper manner:

"Dude, whomever the fuck tied me up here better let me go or I'll shove a drainpipe up your ass!"

Not.

"Duncan. Don't swear!"

"Seriously Princess, you pick the _worst_ times to be uptight." I snapped.

"Calm down the both of you."

The voice that said that was aheavily distorted. Booming voice. Shit, who did I piss off now?

"Who are you?" Princess asked.

"My identity is not important. What is a meaningful matter at the time is what you will do for me." The voice said.

"Why would we do anything for you, dickwad?!" I yelled.

"Because you're tied up and at my mercy." The voice answered.

I grunted. I'd had enough of this. Putting my feet to the ground, I kicked the floor and shot up a little, then I came down and the wooden chair I sat on hit the ground, breaking and letting me out. Now this douche was gonna pay big time. I stormed over to from where the voice came from and heard:

"Um, there's no need for you to approach the source of this voice. Just, um, stand back or I'l...I'll...I'll smite you! Yeah, I will smite you!"

Before he could go on talking with that annoying voice, I threw a punch at from where the voice came from and I heard an injured call of:

"GOSH!"

Then, the redhead geek Harold fell in front of me after I punched him and suddenly the lights came on. I looked around and saw that Princess ahd also smashed her chair and broken from her restraints and had turned on the lights. Other than me and Princess there were three other people in the room. The redhead nerd, Harold. The one who ahd hired me and Courtney to pull a dirty job before, Cody; and one I didn't know, who was really fat and had really messy blonde hair.

"You didn't have to punch me, idiot!" Harold squealed.

I barely shoved him. What a wuss.

I leaned downwards and grabbed the geek by the shirt collar, pulling him up to my face level and raising a fist to his scrawny-ass face.

"OK geek, answer me. Why the fuck did you bring us here?"

"OK, OK, I'll tell you, just don't hit me." The dork begged. "We brought you here so you could help us with our plans."

"Then why'd you knock us out?" Courtney asked, getting mad.

"That was just to add dramatic effect...and a little bit for the fun of it."

"It's not gonna be funny when _I _knock _you_ out! I said, raising my fist and getting ready to punch his face to the back of his skull.

"Wait Duncan!" Princess stopped me, grabbing me by the wrist and making me drop the dork to the floor.

"Ouch!" He said.

"What plans do you mean and why do you need our help?" Princess asked him.

Now the other geek, Cody stepped up.

"We need your help in turning the conflict between the jocks and the greasers into a full blown war." Cody said.

"Why?"

"Because now that the jocks and the greasers are fighting amongst each other, they aren't bullying us." The dork on the floor said as he got up. "...and if they get into a full blown war they won't annoy us at all for god knows how long."

"So, you want us to get those two groups into a war?" Princess asked. "How?"

"Well, we were thinking the following." The dork Cody started. "Trent Vincent has a favourite guitar of his. A black Gibson SG signed by Keith Richards which he got when he went to a Stones show in Toronto. He keeps it in a behind-key private locker at the Drama Department Lockers and he only uses it on special occasions. We thought maybe you could break into the air, steal the guitar, trash it and make it look like the jocks did it."

Princess thought on this for a second.

"How much are you going to pay us?" She asked.

"Well, um, we were kinda hoping you'd do it from the kindness of your heart." Harold said.

"Oh you hear that Princess, he wants us to do it form the kindness of our hearts." I teased. "Well, since it's such a noble thing you ask of us I think we will."

"Really?" Cody said.

"Of course not! We're not an NPO. We charge and a lot." I delivered the punchline.

"But...money is the root of all evil." The brown haired geek tried to persuade.

"Well if that is so, then we like being evil." Princess said. "Pay up!"

"GOSH! Fine, we'll give you a hundred bucks." Harold said.

"A hundred fifty." She haggled.

"A hundred ten!" He retorted.

"A hundred twenty five or no deal!" She ultimatized.

"Fine, a hundred and twenty five. Idiots!"

---

Well, the next night I snuck out of my room. It was around one in the morning, an hour past curfew. As I crept down the hall in my snow clothes I tip-toed to Tyler Thompson's room. I slowly pushed open the door and saw the jocks boy was lying in bed, totally out of it. I walked across the room to the study desk that every student is provided with in their rooms. Some of the people who come to this hellhole, like me for example, get private rooms while others have roommates.

Princess told me that the people who get private rooms in the school are normally either privileged students, or troublemakers who could kill their roommate. That explained why i got a solo room, since the last time I had a roommate I...Well, my alwyer said I should never say what I did to anybody else so let's just say that my last roommate needed surgery to get his underpants removed after what I did to him.

Anyway, I walked to Tyler's desk and looked through it. There I found what I needed. Lying there was a simple headband which had the football team's logo on it. Perfect. I took the headband and quickly left the room.

I walked out to the freezing night and walked across the snow-fucking-packed yard that separated both dorms and met Princess waiting for me outside.

"What took you so long?" She asked. "It's freezing."

"Oh really, I didn't notice. That's why I'm not shivering like a fucking penguin!" I told her.

"Language." She said.

I growled at her and let it slip.

We began to walk down the courtyard to the main school building. We had to go around it and crawl in through a window into the school's theatre stage. Behind the stage was a room filled with private lockers that had to be bought. Trent owned locker number 345.

While we walked, or rather treaded and tried not to get frozen in place and die, I saw that Princess was really starting to shiver. She was getting very cold, and I mean the very bad depth of coldness. I knew she didn't like being helped, since she thought she could do anything by herself, but hell, I cared too damn much about that chick to let her freeze because of her over-inflated ego.

While she closed her eyes and tried to breathe in deep, I approached her and wrapped my arms tightly over her shoulders, pulling her to my chest and hugging her close as we kept on walkin'.

"Duncan, what the hell are you doing?" She asked, shivering and stuttering.

"What's it look like. I'm hugging you so you don't freeze." I answered.

"I'm f-f-fine." She said. "I-I-I d-don't n-n-n-need your h-help."

"Yes you do Princess." I scorned her. "No matter how much you think of your prissy little self, you're still a fucking human so you can still get hypothermia and I'm not just about to let that happen."

She sighed in defeat and snuggled her head closer to my chest, getting comfortable against my winter jacket. She wrapped her arms around my back and pushed herself further in. I could get used to this. Hell, it just felt so nice to have my arms wrapped around her, it just felt like she just...fit there, like she was perfect there, a perfect match. God, she's turning me into a total wuss.

"How did you know the word 'hypothermia'?" She asked.

"I'm not as dumb as you think Princess."

"I don't think you're dumb. I just think you're an annoying brute who solves all his problems with erratic violence."

"And that's what you love about me."

"Yeah, but only a little."

We snuggled together and walked until we made it to our point of acces, a square window that led straight into the auditorium and any person could easily squeeze through.

"Now, we have to figure out a way of opening this window in a stealthy manner." Princess said, pulling herself off me.

"I got it." I said, picking up a rock.

"Duncan, put down that stone." She commanded dryly.

"Fine, do it the hard way." I whined.

"Duncan, do you know how to use a lockpick?" She asked.

"Do you have to ask?" I said, rhetorical.

"Guess not."

She then reached into her hair and pulled out a small purple hairclip from her brunette locks. She gave it to me and I kneeled down in front of the window. After sliding the end of the clip into the window and giving it a few twists in the correct direction here and there, the lock snapped open and I pushed up the window.

"And there we go." I said triumphant.

I stood up and pointed my arms at the window.

"Ladies first." I told her.

She giggled that cute little giggle of hers and then stepped in. I followed her.

"Alright it's really dark in here." I said.

"No kidding, I didn't realize!" My crush exclaimed sarcastically.

"Calm down, woman."

"Whatever. Now, we have to find a light switch, then find the stairs that lead down to the Drama Department Lockers." She explained.

"Whatever you say commandEAAAAAH!"

In mid sentence I stumbled and then fell down a flight of stairs, stopping when I a large wooden door at the bottom.

"Dunkie! Are you alriAAAAAAH!"

I heard Princess following me in falling down the flight of stairs and jsut as she was about to reach the bottom, the lights came on and I saw she had hit the switch while falling. More important than that, Princess landed in a position that I'd like to be with her in more often. Her boobs on my face, straddling me and with her hand pretty close to Lil' Duncan. I have no doubt that there is a God!

"Well Princess, if you want it so bad then we'll just get down to it here." I told her, a little muffled by her tits.

Right about there, I felt a searing pain as the hand that was so close to my crotch punched me there. She got off me.

"Perv!"

Still, she gave me a hand and helped me up.

"Comr on Duncan, we have to get that guitar." She insisted.

I was about to give her one of my sarcastic comments, but then she looked at me with a glare and I knew that saying something now would lead to screaming pain seconds later. So I kept quiet as we walked across the wooden door and into the locker room.

"Alright Princess, the dorks said we had to get locker 345. You look over there, I'll look over here."

"Alright."

Princess went to the lockers on the right side of the room while I went to the left. We ahd to split up and look like this because the nice head of the drama department, Mr. Swinglance, thought that the lockers should not be placed in order by number and instead should be in random order to symbolize "the chaos of the modern world". What a dork.

After a little looking, I found locker 345. I called for Princess to come over and we looked over the locked box. It was pretty big, which it had to be, since there was a guitar in there.

"OK, now how do we open this?" She asked me.

I thought on this for a second and grabbed a hammer that was lying around and aimed it at the lock.

"Duncan don't!"

"Hey, the jocks aren't gonna take their time to pick the lock so since we're trying to frame them..."

I swung the hammer down and smashed the lock, opening the vertical metal box. The door swung open and inside was the legendary guitar. A black SG which had a large signature in white ink. It read "Keith Richards" in odd cursive letters.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." I said as I took the guitar out of the locker.

"I brought the rope, did you bring the frame device?" Princess asked.

"You betcha." I answered, pulling out the headband with the school football team logo I had taken from the douche Tyler's room.

Swiftly, Princess and I stormed out of the locker room with Trent's guitar and stealthily made it back to the guys dorm.

"Alright, are you ready?" She asked.

I nodded.

Princess smiled and pulled a length of rope from her backpack. She went to the basketball hoop attached to a metal pole against a wall adjacent to the guys' dorm. She swung the rope over the hoop and tied the end to the hoop. She then turned the other end into a noose.

I brought the guitar to the noose she had made and tied the instrument to the hanging she had just made. The guitar was now hanging from the hoop.

"Alright Princess, you go back to your dorm and I'll take it from here." I told my girlfriend.

"OK. Take care." She told me.

Princess leaned to me and briefly kissed me int he lips before she ran off to her dorm, hugging herself to avoid the cold.

I reached into my coat and dropped the headband next to the guitar, I also pulled something else out of my coat. A firecracker and a lighter. I light the little firework and then stuffed it between the strings of the guitar. After that, I ran.

I heard the cracker explode but didn't turn around to watch the guitar go up in flames since dorks would start piling around in a minute. I ran to the back of the dorm and climbed into my room through the window. I changed clothes to my sleepwear, meaning my boxers and stepped out to the hall with a snow jacket. I saw how all the other gus from the dorm were already flooding out to see what the noise was.

I smirked my trademark smirk when I saw Trent realize it was his guitar that was haning off the hoop and on fire and I smirked wider when he saw the headband and realized who did it, or rather realized whom I made it look like he did it.

He charged at Tyler, but one of his own goons stopped him, since Tyler ahd the entire football tema beside him now and not all the greasers were there, since a lot of them lived in their houses in the town.

However, Trent did go up to Tyler and told him.

"Now, it's war."

Job well done and those suckers didn't suspect a thing. I'm so awesome.


	10. The Division Bell

**Sorry for the delay people. Enjoy.**

Well, it was war alright.

On a daily basis the jocks and the greasers got into fist fights in the streets, on school grounds, in the town outskirts hell, even in public bathrooms.

The useless Sporto Tyler and the dickhead Danny Zuko-wannabe Trent were so freaked out that they had bodyguards on them all the time and worst of all they were still fighting over that girl Lindsay. It wasn't about the stupid guitar anymore, no, no it never was. It was always about that chick. I mean she's hot but they are fucking obsessed with that broad.

Whenever one of them went out with her, the other one's goons crashed the date and the girl went out with the other one, so the first guy's goons crashed their date and so on, so on. It was like that every Friday night.

Well, the next time something interesting happened was one month after the whole guitar thing happened.

It was Friday night again and I was sitting on a couch with Princess. We were in the prep dorm in front of the huge flat screen TV they had there. I really wasn't there voluntarily, Princess was forcing me to watch that show she liked "Glee" with her. She said ti was the mid-season finale and a super important episode or something like that and that "watching a nice, gentle show would teach me to be sensitive". Bullshit. After all the chick flicks I endure for her she can't say I'm not sensitive.

Well anyway, Princess was snuggling onto me, with her arm wrapped around mine, her head on my shoulder and; best of all, her right D-cup boob smooshed against my elbow. Hey, I like Princess and respect her, but I still can't help but to mention that pair whenever I can. We were watching the show, which was not as bad as I thought would be but was still a bore when somebody came into the room which I specifically told the preps not to come into.

We both turned around and saw the jerkwad Alejandro standing at the door.

"Duncan, there's two of the dickhead greaseballs here to see you." He said.

"Let them in." I said, happy to not have to see that show anymore but unhappy because Princess, and her boob, immediately got off me to stand up and recieve the guys who had come in, who turned out to be none other than Geoff and Trent.

"Hi guys." Said Geoff.

"Hey Geoff...hey Elvis wannabe." I told them.

"Duncan, don't be rude." My Princess scolded me.

"Look guys, I have a job for you." Trent told us.

"What?"

"Well, you see, we've been told that tomorrow at around five in the afternoon Tyler and most his jocks will go out to find Lindsay and he'll try to talk her into another date, well we're gonna go there and make sure that doesn't happen but in the meantime the rec center where they all hang out will be unguarded so we were wondering if you twl could go and trash it." Trent explained.

"We might." I said. "But that all depends on how much green you put in my hand for it."

"We were thinking around fifty bucks." Trent said.

"Fair enough." Princess said.

"Now will you two leave?!" I shot at them. "I'm trying to spend some time with my favourite girl."

Both of them gulped at my anger and they left. Chickens, I wasn't gonna do anything to them.

"Duncan, that was rude...a little sweet, but still rude." Princess scowled at me.

"Hey Princess, you know how I am. I'm a rude, crude dude who doesn't do what anyone tells him to." I told her with a cocky tone and my trademark smirk.

"Shut up and watch the show with me." She said.

"Yes honey." I said and did as she told me to.

Come to think of it, that last little bit was a little ironic.

About one hour after that, when the show ended and Princess was so happy with what had happened that she was hugging me very tight and giving me a real nice elbow feel, was when we got interrupted again.

Alejandro came through the door again and told us that somebody else came here.

"Tell those greaseballs we'll do their job and not to bother us anymore." I told him.

"Yeah, thing is that it's not the poor-boys, it's the jocks who are here." Aleandro the snob told us.

"Huh?"

Then, two of the jocks stepped in. It was their quarterback and leader Tyler and another one of them, the one called Billy.

"Hey, we hear you two guys can get jobs done." Tyler said.

"Hi, good afternoon. I'm Courtney." Princess said, introducing herself and indirectly pointing out that Tyler had not said hello. "And yes we have our way with tasks."

"Well, I have something for you. As you probably know, me and my guys are beefing with the greasers because their top guy is trying to steal my girlfriend, well tomorrow their gonna try and get me while I talk to her in our date in Wawanakwa Park at five...while they're doing that the abandoned auto shop they hang out in will be empty, so we thought maybe you could trash it and all their stuff while they're fighting with us." Tyler explained.

"We might." Princess said. "But, our beaks will have to get very wet before we can do that."

She's starting to learn how to do things the right way. I'm so proud.

"We'll give you forty bucks." He said.

"Fifty." She answered.

"Fine, fifty." Sporto whined. "But do it right."

Then, the two douches left, leaving me and Princess alone again.

"So Duncan, we split up and smash those places tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Alright, you get the auto shop and I'll take the rec center." She said.

"Fine." I answered. "Now, how 'bout we make out for a while."

"Eww Duncan, I still don't see how you can be disgusting enough to say things that way, you have to be kinder and more sub-"

I shut her up by pressing my lips to hers and in her surprised gasp sliding my tongue into her mouth. I know Courtney very well and one thing I know and love about her is her hormonal nature. Her hormones have a HUGE hold on her and even though she tries to supress them she's really passionate and so it was that overly passionate nature of hers that made her slide her tongue along mine when they made contact, made her close her eyes and then begin licking the inside of my mouth.

So hot.

So cold.

I was so fucking cold when Princess and I stepped outside into the snow covered school campus the next day. It was almost five in the afternoon and it must've been minus a million degrees out there because though I was wearing a jacket I was still fucking freezing. At least it wasn't snowing, there was snow everywhere, though. If it'd been sunny then maybe it wouldn't have been as fucking freezing but anyway.

"Alright Duncan, this is going to be an easy day...you go to the abandoned auto shop and trash it and I'll do the same with the rec center, then we get back here, cash in our money and go out for dinner." Princess with a military-like tone.

"Yes sir, General Courtney I'll do as you say." I said, putting on a mock serious voice and doing a military salute, something that earned me a jab in the gut from her.

"Come on Duncan, I'm going to go now, I'll meet you here at six hirty for our date." She said. "Bye."

She then ran off.

"Bye Princess."

Well, by 5:10 I had already made it to the abandoned auto shop. I pushed open the door to the dillapitated place, which was very fucking messed up and stepped in. The entire place was very dark.

Well, when I swtich on the lights to the run down place, I saw something which I very much did NOT expect to see. Inside the place there were about ten greasers on their bikes. All of them were unknown to me except one whom I think you already know...dear old Trent Vincent, who right at that moment went from my "allies" list straight into my "people who's asses I'll kick into next century" list.

"Hey Trent, what's up?" I asked mockingly, keeping my cool.

"Shut the door."

"Huh?"

Then I heard the metal door I had kicked open thirty seconds ago shut behind me and a really tall greaser standing in front of it.

"What the hell?!" I yelled.

"Alright Duncan, cut the crap. I Know you burnt my guitar, man." Trent said.

"The fuck I did! Who told you that bullshit?!" I yelled, trying to keep clean, since hell ten of them against just me could take me out easily.

"That would be me, Duncan-boy."

Fuck no, not HIM again! But yeah, I turned and there was the asshole who had started all of this. There with his ugly face, messed up brown hair and ridiculous toque wool hat, in a green school winter jacket and pants was Ezekiel Smith.

"Just when I thought you weren't behind something shitty that happened to me." I told him.

"Duncan-boy, you have to learn that I'm g'ooing to be messin' with you until I take you down a c'oople hundred nodges, eh." He said in his annoyinglya ccented voice. "You humiliated me by standing up to me and surpassin' me plots, so I have to take you o'oot."

"Nobody even knows it was you who set all the up!" I yelled. "Why the fuck do you care?!"

"Well the whole revenge thing is actually a lame excuse, I'm actually d'ooin' this because I'm bored." He told me.

"You're bat-shit crazy!" I yelled at him.

"Possible. Anyway, y'oor ass is gettin' kicked t'ooday Duncan-boy. Enjoy dawg." He said and then retreated back into the shadows of the abandoned auto shop as the greasers began to close in on me.

"Look dudes, if you take one step closer I'm gonna kick your asses." I threatened them, really pissed from having seen Ezekiel.

Then one of them pedaled forward and punched me across the face as he rushed past. Another one did the same again, but when the third dick came to punch me from his bike, I snatched his arm with my hand and pulled him off his bike, swinging him on top of one of the dicks who had already hit me, hurting both of them.

Then I felt another one hit me, this time in the back of the head and I fell to the floor, hurt but not beaten. A fifth greaser began pedalling towards me, so thinking fast I grabbed whatever I could that was lying enxt to me, which turned out to be a monkey wrench and flung it at the guy. The wrench hit him in the neck and he fell sideays off the bike, hitting his ehad on the floor and passing out.

A sixth one began to pedal at me. I jumped up and dodged this guy, then dashed to the side and picked up the monkey wrench. If the douchebags kept coming at me one at a time it would be fuckig easy. The seventh greaser pedalled on ad I dodged him just in time and skilfully shoved the wrench in between his bike's spokes jamming it and flinging him into the air because of the sudden halt. The douchebag greaser flew straight at the sixth greaser and tackled him to the floor, while his bike hit the first greaser's bike, knocking them both over and knocking out the greaseball, who then hit his head against the maneuver handles.

Two other ones came at me at the same time and is looked like they would try to hit me with the handles of their bikes, so I simply ducked and their handles crashed against each other, making them veer off and crash into walls.

Morons.

"Come on! Is that the best you've got!?" I mocked.

Then I turned around and saw Trent, a pipe, then I was falling and then darkness.

I slowly raised my head off the ground. I felt like I'd been at a raging kegger and was now having the hangover of a life time. I slowly got up off the ground and started trying to figure out where I was. I definitely wasn't at the auto shop, since instead of dillapidated cars and oil stains I saw rocks and a nearly frozen river.

Then, I spotted Mass Murder Bridge, named after its builder Johnny Massmurder, the poor bastard witht he coolest but most unfortunate name in the world; the importance of me seeing that bridge had to do with the fact that I knew that the bridge joined Serial Avenue with Killer street and Killer street led to the school.

Now, what I'd learnt from getting drunk that one night in Toronto and waking up the next day in a dumpster in Connecticut was that after waking up and finding out where you are, you have to figure out when youa re where you are. So, I checked the time.

Oh fuck!

It was already 7:30 PM. I was supposed to meet Princess an hour and a half ago. Shit! I would explain how I made it from there to the school, but I don't really remember too well. All I remember was running up the river bank, knocking over some dude in a bike, stealing his bike and pedalling all the way to the school. Come to think of it...I do remember all that happened when I was ehading back to the school.

When I made it to the school campus it was 7:45. I ditched the bike at te entrance, not wanting to be seen in a stolen ride and then began to look for Princess. I checked the place where we ahd agreed to meet, outside the guys' dorm, and there she was.

Princess was walking back and forth an imaginary straight line right in front the small stairs that led up to the door of the dorm. She looked tense and nervous and was muttering something to herself.

"Princess." I called out.

She then turned to look at me and a look of huge relief struck her face. She then ran to me and hugged me tight, pressing her face to my chest. I hugged her back.

"Duncan! I was worried wick! Where were you?" She asked me, a little muffled because she was pressing her face to my jacket.

Damn, I didn't know she cared that much about me. It kinda makde me feel better about how I felt about her. It's nice to know the feeling goes both ways.

"The damn greasers knocked me out. They surprised me and guess what, Ezekiel told Trent that we were the ones who burnt his guitar...so our little alliance with the greasers is kinda officially over now." I told her.

She pulled herself off me and then slapped me across the face. What the fuck?!

"What the fuck?!"

"That's for making me be so worried." She said.

Then she kissed me. She just took me by the cheeks and kissed me. OK, this chick is weird.

"Now, we have to go out on our date and since you made me get so worried...we have to do what I want this week." She told me, all high and mighty.

"Fine, as long as there are no dumbass vampires in it." I told her.

Here's a funny joke. How do you tell a straight vampire from a gay vampire? Like this: Straight vampires burn up when in the sun and gay vampires sparkle when in the sun. I hate that dumbass "Twilight series".

"No can do Duncan...if you want to be OK with me you have to take me to see 'New Moon'." She demanded. "Come on, I never ask you to see this kinda movie with me."

"Yeah you do!"

"Let me rephrase...I never force you, but now I am forcing you." She said sternly.

I sighed.

"Fine."

It was about 11 PM when we left that movie. Let me tell you this...excluding the fact that whenever the werewolf kid took off his shirt Princess would shriek, like every girl in the room, and hug tightly onto my arm and I'd get to cop an elbow feel...that movie sucked ass.

Anyway, the moment we left the movie theatre would have been great if it weren't for the following.

"Well, well, well Duncan-boy y'oo're up and ab'oot again. After what the greasers did to y'oo I'd have expected y'oo to be in bed for a month." The usual accented, annoying voice said.

Both Princess and I turned to look at the guy who said that and obviously...there was Ezekiel Smith.

"Big mistake jerk." I told him.

Princess and I began to clsoe in on him.

"Oh, so you want to take it out on me, eh?" He said. "Like you burnt Trent's guitar...or how you set off that stink bomb in the jock rally? I believe that was you, am I right?"

"Yeah and now we're gonna leave you stinking too...stinking dead."

"So you DID set off that bomb!" I heard another voice call out.

Both princess and I turned around to see about ten jocks standing there, including Tyler, having heard what we just said.

"You're the one who made my linds leave me!" Tyler yelled.

"Oh shit." I muttered.

"You should watch out for what you admit Duncan-boy." Ezekiel mocked me."I told you it was them Tyler."

"And you were right." The jock head answered.

"Now if you'll excuse me Duncan-boy, I would love to stay to see you get beaten to death but I have more pressing matters to handle. Au revoir." He mocked me again and then backed into an alley and dissappeared into the darkness.

"We're gonna kick your ass so much, they're gonna end up coming out of your mouth!" Tyler yelled at me.

"Princess, run...I'll handle them." I told her.

"But..."

"No time, get the fuck out of here!"

With one last worried look Princess ran off as I told her.

"Alright douches I'm gonna..."

Then, a swirl of ten angry jocks envolved me and there was, yet again...darkness.

Well, the next thing I knew I was hanging. My ass was extremely sore because when I woke up I was hanging by my boxers from one of the "H" poles on the school football field. I was really badly bruised, but I was gonna be OK.

With a single tear, I ripped off my underwear, something which hurt by the way, and dropped myself to the ground below, lading roughly and tripping, falling face first to the floor. I pulled myself up again and began to stumble out of the football field.

However I was stopped when I heard Pricness' voice calling me.

"Duncan!"

I turned around and saw that Princess' voice was coming from the school mascot costume tied up to a nearby tree. The school mascot costume was that of a moose in a school sweater. I ran to it and said.

"Princess?"

"Yes." She answered as I began to untie her.

I finished doing so and asked her.

"Why are you in a school mascot costume and why were you tied to the tree?"

"Well you see Duncan, when I ran I found myself face to face with the jock girl, Eva Brown and she hit me on the back of the head and knocked me I woke up I was tied up to the tree wearing this." She answered.

"OK, now let me help you take that stupid costume off." I told her.

"I'd rather you didn't." She said.

"Why not?"

"Well, you see, because Eva probably thought it'd be funnier if she put me in this costume with...nothing underneath." She answered, totally embarassed.

Well, at that point many naughty little thoughts shot into my brain, mostly thoughts of me and Princess both inside that costume with nothing underneath and I had to close my legs together tightly to keep Lil' Duncan in.

"You mean, you're naked under there?!" I asked, grinning wickedly.

I know she was wearing that stupid moose mask then but I could tell she was blushing madly below it.

"Oh my god...You are naked under there!" I exclaimed. "Can you let me see?"

"What?! No!"

"Come on, you know you want to."

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME NAKED!"

"Come on, I went to see that movie with you."

She began storming away madly and thus I followed her.

"NO!"

"Please, at least just your boobs." I tried to persuade her.

"Shut up!"

"Please? I mean your boobs are awesome, they were meant to be seen."

"SHUT UP!"

Yeah, in the end she didnt let me see her naked, or even her boobs but she didn't stay mad so we were back in good terms by the next day. Would've liked to see her boobs though.

**Please review.**

**Gracias Totales.**


	11. All The World's A Stage

**Ladies and gentlemen****, in this chapter I render tribute to one of the greatest dramatists and playwrights of all time, nobody other than the great William Shakespeare. In this chapter, the play used is, for the record, my favourite Shakespearean play and I recommend reading it if you can.**

**Here goes.**

* * *

"Shakespeare."

I was sitting in the cafeteria table waiting for my sweet Princess to arrive when it happend. My sweet Princess dropped a huge script in front of me and said that one word.

"Don't really like reading, babe." I told her. "Plus I don't speak spanish."

"Shakespeare was british."

"Whatever, still don't read."

My girlfriend rolled her eyes and sighed as she sat down next to me

"You don't have to read Shakespeare, he is part of my plan to defeat the jocks and the greasers." She said.

"How?"

"Well, every year Trent Vincent and Tyler Thompson compete for the lead in the school play. This year it's 'Richard III' that is being used and those two will be at each other's throats to play Richard of Gloucester. What we have to do is sabotage them and make it look like they did it to each other so they start fighting again, because we can't beat them if they're both against us. Then, we get somebody else to play the role of Richard to add insult to injury." She explained to me.

"How exactly do we get somebody else the part?" I asked.

"We find some guy who likes acting to audition, then we persuade the drama teacher and then it is done." She said.

"By persuade you mean threaten, right?"

"Does persuade ever mean anything else?" She said with heavy rhetorics.

"You know what Princess, I jsut realized that inside the smoking sexy body of yours is a sexy, evil brain."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and planted slight butterfly kisses on her neck, making her giggle and blush and...I think I heard a small whimperish-moan in there somewhere.

"Duncan, not now, we're in the middle of the cafeteria."

"So? Nobody ever looks at us." I tried to convince her.

I felt her relax into my embrace and close her eyes as I kissed her cheek. She always melted right into me, I really loved how much power I had over her. Hell, she could pull my world down with a string too, but I had the upper hand, because she had one weakness I lacked...pent up sexual frustration.

As I was about to bring her lips to mine to start a make-out session; Harold and Cody, the two nerds who had a nasty habit of showing up in the least fortunate times, came up to where we were.

"Hey guys." Cody said. "Are we interrupting something?"

"Yes, now go away." I told them.

But of course Princess, in her ever-so-failed attempts to hide the fact that she was an evil animal inside, feigned politeness with the two dorks.

"Duncan, don't be rude." She said.

Haven't I heard that one a million times before.

"What is it?" She asked.

"We came here with a proposition." Cody said.

"We're listening." I told them.

"Well, since you two got caught trying to wreck both the jocks and the greasers you ahve no allies other than the preps and they barely listen to you two." Cody said.

"So we wanted to see if you guys like wanted to work with us to beat the jocks and the greasers?" Harold finished.

Normally I'm beyond being allied with dorks. I'll do a job for them if they pay right, but working _with_ them is a completely different business. However, since back then I had a group of steroid crazed gorillas and a group of Jimmy Dean worshipping leather-clad hogs clawing at me I had little choice.

"Fine nerds, we'll do it." I told them. "But right now, would you leave me and my lovely lady alone because we're trying to spend some quality time together."

"Oh, I totally understand. This one time me and my lady, LeShawna, we were alone and her lips were all over my face..."

"Dude, if you don't leave now my _boot_ will be all over your face." I threatened, something which earned a scowl from Princess.

"OK, GOSH!" The redhead geek moaned. "I was only trying to..."

"Boot-face contact imminent. Due in five, four, three, two..."

And then they ran off.

* * *

Crist Almeth Auditorium. A pretty decent place with a very unfortunate name. Now the day after Princess came up with her idea, she told me to go to the school auditorium at 5 in the afternoon, which is when the auditions were gonna be. She said she would bring in what we needed to sabotage Trent and Tyler along with an extra candidate for getting the role in the end. She told me all I needed to bring was a radio, a can of green paint, a rope and a swordfish. Out of those things...the green paint was really hard to get.

"Come on Princess, this shit is starting soon." I muttered to myself, waiting for her to come.

Then the door to the auditorium opened and in came Princess holding a stack of papers, but behind her came in another person. It was the head of the preps, Noah Harrington.

"What's with the rich dork?" I asked her.

"Oh 'dork', what an original insult! What else have you got? Geek? Egghead? Oh do I hear something? Well it must be the Lame Insult Corporation calling you Duncan, they want you to be CEO." The smart-ass bastard shot back.

Well that pissed me off and then I decided that I would carefully knock the asshole's teeth into the back of his skull, but Princess stopped me.

"Duncan, we need him for our plan." She said, grabbing me by the shoulders to keep me from giving the douche a fist shaped birth-mark in the nose.

"Why do we need _him_?" I asked, not seeing ho he would be of use. Sure, his clique is helpful, but he alone...not much.

"He's going audition for the role of Richard." Princess explained.

"_He_ can act? The dude can't put on a face that doesn't say 'Hi, I hate you and I'm a smart-ass priss' and you want him to act?" I said, I mean, really, that egghead?

"Hmm!" The geek grunted.

Then he croked his neck to the left and right, snapping it on both sides, and finally took a weird, kinda girly stand before saying.

"_Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!  
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.  
The evil that men do lives after them,  
The good is oft __interred__ with their bones;  
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus  
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious;  
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,  
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.  
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest—  
For Brutus is an honorable man;  
So are they all, all honorable men—  
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.  
He was my friend, faithful and just to me;  
But Brutus says he was ambitious,  
And Brutus is an honorable man.  
He hath brought many captives home to Rome,  
Whose ransoms did the general __coffers__ fill.  
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?  
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept;  
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.  
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,  
And Brutus is an honorable man.  
You all did see that on the Lupercal  
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,  
Which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?  
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious,  
And sure he is an honorable man.  
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,  
But here I am to speak what I do know.  
You all did love him once, not without cause;  
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?  
O judgement, thou art fled to brutish beasts,  
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;  
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,  
And I must pause till it come back to me_."

After he was done with the speech, he put his hand to his face and began to cry.

"'The fuck was that?" I yelled.

"Oh god, bravo! Bravo! BRAVISSIMO!"

I turned to look at wherever that totally wussy yell came from and I saw nobody else excpet the school's Theatre Arts Teacher, Mr. Jeff Eminate.

The dork turned to the teacher and wiped the forced tears from his eyes.

"Oh please tell me that you are here to audition for Richard." Mr. Eminate said, while gayly fanning himself with his hand.

"Yes." Noah told him.

"Great...now, I will have to audition the other candidates and you will have to make an actual audition with material from the play, but after seeing THAT, believe me you have a high chance." He told the dork.

"Anybody else have a chance?" Geekwad asked.

"Well, I'm not supposed to give away any facts but I think the only guy who really stands a chance is Trent Vincent. He's a really talented actor." Mr. Eminate told him.

"Cool." Noah replied.

The drama teacher that was an obviously offensive-stereotype which would be used in a lame story to add ridiculous humor walked off and headed towards the stage to start prepping things up for the auditions. Then the egghead turned to us.

"Alright guys, I came here because you told me you would secure me the tole of Richard...so make sure that Trent's audition gets ruined." The nerd ordered.

"Dude, why the fuck are you even doing this?"

"I'm trying to impress Heather." He answered.

"You're still after that broad? Fine, it's your funeral." I scoffed at him.

"Scoffed", where did I learn that word? I must've picked it up from Princess.

"Come on Dunkie, we have to set up the Tyler and Trent sabotage." Princess whispered. "Let's go backstage."

"Fine, but don't call me Dunkie."

"All right children, the next audition will be by Tyler Thompson, who is trying out for Richard." I heard Mr. Eminate say from down on the stage.

Princess and I were standing up on the catwalks looking down on the stage.

"Alright Duncan, when I tell you to, you cut the rope." Princess instructed me.

"Sir, yes sir." I answered and gave her a military sign right before pulling out my pocket knife and preparing to slice the rope.

* * *

I looked down to the stage where Tyler had stepped on. The little sporto waved to his dumbass blonde "girlfriend", who waved back to him. I turned to look to Duncan to make sure he wasn't oogling that bimbo. Sure, as hell he was looking at her.

"Duncan, focus!" I snapped at him in a voice as low as possible to make sure we weren't heard below.

He snapped back to reality and looked at the rope again.

How can that jerk look at that blonde slut. I'm his girlfriend, he should only look at me! OK, calm down Courtney, he wouldn't leave you...not over some blonde slut. But then again, Justin did leave you and over less. But Duncan is different. Or is he? He has never had a serious girlfriend before...he's just slept with sluts and left them. What if he doesn't want to stick to a single girl and goes back to those sluts. No, Duncan wouldn't ever do that? Would he?

My inner turmoil was interrupted when I heard Tyler beginning to recite down on the stage. He held up his script and began:

The sporto cleared his troat and ten began:

"_I do the wrong, and first begin to brawl.  
__The secret mischiefs that I set abroach  
__I lay unto the gre-gree-gray_...How do I pronounce that?"

From the audience, Mr. Eminate, who had a copy of the script in his hands said:

"Grevious."

"Oh, OK." He said.

OK, that's a big downturn for him, this is really working my way. Go Courtney, you're the best schemer ever. I love me.

The jock went on:

"_I lay unto the grevious charge of others.  
__Clarance, who I indeed have cast in darkness,  
__I do beweep to many simple gulls,  
__Namely to Derby, Hastings, Buckingham,  
__And tell them 'tis the queen and her allies  
__That stir the king against the duke my brother.  
__Now they believe it, and wit-with-withee_...line?"

Back in the audience, Mr. Emiante grunted angrily.

"It's pronounced 'withal', Mr. Thompson. Now move on."

Wow, Tyler sucks. How did he even get that role as Othello last year? I was starting to think we didn't even need to sabotage him. But hell, everything was already set up, so...

Tyler coughed nervously and started again:

"_Now they believe it, and withal whet me  
__To be revengèd on Rivers, Dorset, Grey.  
__But then I sigh, and with a piece of scrip-too-tu_..."

In the audience, Mr. Eminate was about to burst into one of his infamously effeminate rants when I turned to Duncan and gave him the signal. He reacted by cutting the rope like I told him to.

The swordfish we had hung from the roof topped down and it sliced through Tyler's pants, dropping the fabric to the floor and leaving him in his teddy bear paterned boxers. Then he cried like a little girl. There even Lindsay, who was probably too dumb to even understand what was going on, began to laugh. Tyler gave a series of pathetic sobs and tried to run off stage, but his feet got tangled in his torn pants and he tripped, whacking his face against the floor of the hard, wooden stage.

Then I slid a little to the right, over to where I had put that open can of green paint on the catwalk railing. I lightly shoved the can and it toppled over the side.

"Oops." I joked to my boyfriend.

The paint can fell and I watched as it all got splattered on top of Tyler's head. The can landed on his head and knocked him out. Duncan and I both watched as this happened and recoiled when the can hit him.

"Ouch...that had to hurt." I exclaimed.

"Yeah." Dunkie said. "Are you as turned on by having just hurt someone as I am?"

"Oh yeah."

Immediately, I pounced on him and kissed him passionately. I don't know why, but having just hurt someone just gave me a rush of arousal. But anyway, it turned out to be good, since when Duncan kissed me back, all my concerns about how he really felt were gone. He did it with so much tenderness and passion, there had to be something there. He really did like me.

Princess pulled away from me and then straightened herself out.

"Alright Duncan, we have to get down there to mess with Trent's audition." She said, going back to her usual mission demeanor.

So we did. Princess and I descended from the catwalks above the stage and waited for Trent to come in.

"So Princess, what are we gonna do to the Jimmy Dean wannabe?" I asked her, anxious to hear in what way we were gonna hurt him. "Are we gonna drop paint on him? Set loose some dogs? Make the catwalks collapse on his head? Pee on his bed?"

"What? No! That's gross. We'll switch his script for another one." Princess told me.

I was dissapointed.

"That's it? You'll just switch one dude's script for another's?"

"Not quite. You see, I cheked with Bridgette and she told me what scene Trent wanted to present for his audition. So I pritned a copy of that particular monologue with...a few 'modifications'." She told me, grinning evily.

"OK, what did you do with it?" I asked.

"You'll see."

Princess and I stepped back stage. Trent was back there. He was talking with Lindsay and he had his script in his hand. They were two pages which he held onto and which we ahd to swtich.

"Ok Princess, how do we pull the ol' switcheroo?" I asked her.

Princess thought for a second.

"I know." She said.

Suddenly Princess sighed. She gave me the alternative script she had made, cleared her throat, breathed in deeply and walked nervously over to Lindsay and Trent. I followe her carefully, keeping a distance.

"Hey Lindsay, you have a stain on your shirt." Princess said.

"Really?" The blonde looked down to her shirt. What is Princess trying to pull? "I don't see it."

"It's because it's dark. Let me wipe it for you."

Then one of the things I'll remember for all my life happened. Princess lifted her hand and put it to the hot blonde's giant left boob. Then she began to rub the bimbo's boob as if though cleaning the spot. I stood there staring at my bombshell girlfriend rubbing another bombshell's boob and it took me a while to realize what Princess was really doing. Trent had dropped his pages while he stared on aroused. I sneaked up behind him, took his pages from the floor and put the new ones there. I walked away carefully while still looking at the boob-rubbing action.

"There, it's clean." I said and latched my hand from Lindsay's breast.

"Gosh, thanks Catherine." Lindsay said, as if not even realizing that somebody had just fondled her tit. "You're so nice."

"Don't mention it." I told her. "Seriously, don't ever mention this again."

I walked away from the smiling blonde and her stunned "boyfriend" and walked over to my boyfriend. I felt so ashamed, btu well, I ahd to do what I had to do and what I had to do was make a distraction.

Well sure, it felt kind of nice to have such a soft squishy thing in my hand but it was still so wrong. When I got to Duncan he was fighting to hold back his laughter.

"Do...not...speak...one...word."

"You felt up a girl." He snickered. "You felt up a girl with the biggest rack in the school, Princess. Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Rodriguez?"

Then he broke into laughter, mocking what I'd just done. OK, that's it.

I grabbed Duncan by the shirt collar and pulled him into the hottest, most angry kiss I could manage, sliding my tongue into his mouth and going everywhere with it. When I let him go, he was stunned and he was aroused beyond pants.

"If you ever want one of THOSE again, you'll never speak of this again." I ordered him.

He just nodded.

"Now you should get less tight pants, because either your pocket knife is showing or you like me too much." I snarled at him.

* * *

After "lowering the flag pole", Princess and I snuck over to the curtain that split back stage from main stage and peeked from behind the curtain as Trent stepped on and began to recite.

"What seen will you do now, Mr. Vincent?" The drama dude asked, hopeful.

"The army adress monologue from Act V, Scene III." Danny Suco said.

"OK, wonderful. Begin."

The greaser cleared his throat and began:

"_A thing devisèd by the enemy.  
__Go, gentlemen, every man to his charge.  
__Let not our babbling dreams affright our souls,  
__For conscience is a word that cowards use,  
__Devised at first to keep the strong in awe.  
__Our strong arms be our conscience, swords our law!  
__March on! Join bravely! Let us to't pell mell,  
__If not heaven, then hand in hand to hell.  
__What shall I say more than I have inferred?  
__For I have inferred that mine milkshake bringeth all the boys to the yard.  
__And be they claiming it's better than yours.  
__Exclaim to thee 'Damn right, it's better than yours'  
Yeah right, it be greater than yours.  
Damn right, it be better than yours.__  
__I can teach..._Wait a minute, this is wrong."

In the audience, the effeminate drama teacher was glaring at Trent in an extremely un-effeminate look. A fucking angry look.

"How dare you taint the sacred writings of Shakespeare with the lyrics to such a god-awful song?" He yelled, startling everybody else who had been looking at the auditions and who ahd been laughing while Trent recited the dumb lyrics missed with text.

"I'm sorry, I didn't write this, somebody must've..."

"I CARE NOT FOR EXCUSES!" He yelled.

"But..."

"Avaunt, thou dradful minsiter of hell." Eminate exclaimed dramatically while putting his hand to his face.

"What?"

"It was Shakespearean lingo for: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY AUDITORIUM!"

After that, the stunned greaser ran out crying and me and Princess laughed our asses off.

"OK Princess, I gotta hand it to you. That was the best prank ever." I told her. "How'd you come up with that?"

"Well, I learnt from the best." She said as she nudged me with her elbow.

* * *

Well, it was opening night and even though I didn't want to go Princess forced me to.

We were both sitting in one of the first rows and I would've liked to be at the back, since there I could fall asleep without being noticed but here I'd have to stay awake throughout the whole thing.

At least Princess was leaning her head on my shoulder and had her arm wrapped around mine. Even though I didn't get to cop an elbow feel then, it just felt nice to have Princess there like that. Leaning on me, cuddled up to me. I don't know why but it was just a very...pleasant feeling. Not sex pleasant but just...comforting pleasant. Shit.

Then the play started and the egghead walked on stage, dressed in medieval costume and with a fake lump under hsi shoulder armour so as to make it look like he was a hunchback of some kind. Then he began to speak:

"_Now is the winter of our discontent  
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;  
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house  
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.  
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;  
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;  
Our stern alarums chang'd to merry meetings,  
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.  
Grim visag'd war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;  
And now, instead of mounting barbed steeds  
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,  
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber  
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.  
But I, that am not shap'd for sportive tricks,  
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;  
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty  
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;  
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,  
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,  
Deform'd, unfinish'd, sent before my time  
Into this breathing world scarce half made up,  
And that so lamely and unfashionable  
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;  
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,  
Have no delight to pass away the time,  
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun,  
And descant on mine own deformity:  
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,  
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,  
I am determinèd to prove a villain,  
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.  
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,  
By drunken prophecies, libels, and dreams,  
To set my brother Clarence and the king  
In deadly hate the one against the other:  
And if King Edward be as true and just  
As I am subtle, false, and treacherous,  
This day should Clarence closely be mew'd up,  
About a prophecy which says that G  
Of Edward's heirs the murderer shall be.  
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul:  
__Here Clarence comes._"

After the play, Princess and I left the auditorium. It was still pretty fucking cold and getting colder as Christmas, and therefore the peak of winter cold, was in one week; so we had to wear those puffy winter clothes to keep out of the freeze.

"Alright babe, I saw the entire play so that means you owe me a make out session after our date tonight."

"Fine, a deal's a deal." She said.

"Oh come on, like you don't love the make outs." I scoffed her.

Again with that word. Princess' vocabulary was really rubbing off.

"I do not love them." "Nobody's listening to us."

"Yeah, I love them."

"Well then."

I let go of her arm and hugged her by the hip, bringing her lips inches away from mine.

"Why don't we get one right now."

I closed my eyes and brought her closer but instead of feeling her soft lips, I caught a fingertip. I opened my eyes and saw she had placed a figner to my mouth.

"After the date, Dunkie." She told me.

"I'm afraid there's not gonna be a date tonight."

Princess and I both turned to the direction of the voice.

Oh shit. That's what I would've said if there'd been an angry rhino standing there, but what I said instead was "Oh, holy fuck" because something worse; in this case five angry jocks along with five angry greasers standing behind Trent, Tyler and the huge jock girl.

"We got in a fight just now and we realized neither of us ahd sabotaged the other." Trent said.

"So that leaves only you two." Tyler said.

"GET THEM!" They yelled in unison.

A greaser and a jock ran towards us an on instinct Princess and I pulled apart and got into battle stance. Princess leaped up into the air and landed a butterfly kick straight into the greaser's right cheek, knocking him to the floor while I punched the jock in the gut and picked him up over my shoulder to throw him at the greaser that came after me a second later making both of them tumble to the floor.

A second jock surprised me and punched me in the gut, throwing me to the floor but I quickly recomposed and threw a kick up at him, nailing him in the chin and throwing him down to the floor. I tried to get up but one of them kicked me in the back and I fell back to the floor where they started kicking me for, I don't know how long until two jocks lifted me up from the ground and I stood there looking at a furious Trent.

Courtney was there next to me. The tough girl Eva had her in a chokehold.

I turned back to Trent, who then taking a paintball gun from another greaser. Sporto also had one and lifted it to aim at Princess.

"Now, I tried to calmly tell you to back off."

"Calmly! You sent your goons to try and beat us up!" Princess yelled.

"Whatever." Tyler screamed. "Eva hold her still!"

"Sure." Said the rabid girl holding Princess.

The dumbassed jock raised his gun and just as I thought Princess would have a paint scar, a small explosion went off and Tyler fell to the ground with a burn mark on his jacket.

"I wouldn't do that!"

All of us looked over to the voice and saw Noah, still dressed as Richard, holding a bottle rocket launcher.

"Or?"

"Or I'll hurt you."

"Yeah, you and what army?"

"The dork army."

Then Harold, Cody and tons of other geeks came out of nowhere armed with paintball guns.

"FIRE!" Yelled the redhead nerd.

The nerd army raised their paintball guns and began to shoot at the jocks and the greasers. The members of both groups tried to run towards them but had a lot of shit to it since the paintballs hurt like hell.

One of them nailed Tyler straight in the forehead and then he screamed like a little girl and fainted. Trent instead covered his head and began to run, but he was crazy as shit if he thought I was gonna let him get away. I shoved off the two douches on me, then threw a punch to the jaw to the one on the right, dodged the left guy's punch and then punched him in the balls, throwing him to the ground and before Trent could take five steps I ran to him then spun him by the shoulder, punched him with my right arm, then the left and finally a hook with right arm, giving him a nosebleed and knocking him out.

The tough girl, Eva, let go of Princess and then gave out a fierece battlecry and ran like a raging bull towards a fucked bullfighter. The dorks tried to bring her down with paintball shots, but she just kept running at them, so Noah raised his bottle rocket gun and blasted her with one. It flew straight at her and nailed her in the gut, blowing up and knocking her to the floor, passing out from the blast of the firecracker and the paintblasts that followed.

After the jocks and greasers were either beaten or had fled, the dorks gathered around me and Princess.

"Thanks guys." I told them. "Gues I owe you one now."

"No need to thank us, compadre." Harold said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "We're partners now."

I scolwed.

"Get your hand off my shoulder."

"Yes sir." He snapped and pulled the hand off.

"Why'd you help us?" Princess asked Noah.

As if answering ehr question, Heather Gauthier came running up to us and hugged Noah.

"Noah, that was really good acting. I almost believed you were a heartlass villain." She said and then kissed him full on.

"If he were like that then they'd be the same person." I muttered to Princess, who giggled the cute little giggle of hers that makes my wussy heart skip a beat. Fuck.

She pulled away and Noah simply said:

"Well, I think the lady and I better get going."

So they did, both of them walk away and before the other dorks could realize, so were Princess and I.

"Well, this was an eventful night."

"Totally."

"Dunkir, you still owe me that date." She said.

"Yeah Princess, I'm a little worn out from the beat down now so do we mind if we push that off until tomorrow?" I asked her.

"Well sure...but since you got hurt today, I think I'll give you a consolation price."

There she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to ehr lips. In a flash, she agressively, yet slyly slid her tongue into my mouth and began to battle mine for control. That's one of the things I loved about that chick.

How impulsive she was. She was always swinging between uptight and hot and loose, so it was never the same thing. There was always something new and something hot. Yeah, Courtney was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

**_

* * *

_**

**Well, that was a long one. **

**Let's see if anybody can figure out why the name Crist Almeth is unfortunate.**

**Also, I reccomend that anybody who likes theatre read or watch the play "Richard III" since it's one of the best I've read in my life. **

**Read and review.**

**Gracias Totales.**

**For those interested, a list of "Richard III" characters and which characters, by personality and role, would play them:  
****  
Richard of Gloucester - Noah  
Lord Buckingham - Cody  
Queen Elizabeth Woodville - Heather  
Lord Hastings - Owen  
Lord Stanley - Harold  
Henry of Richmond - Tyler  
King Edward IV - Trent  
George of Clarence - DJ  
Lord Rivers - Chris McClean  
Lord Grey - Justin  
Lord Vaughan - Ezekiel  
Tyrell - Chef Hatchet  
Former King Henry VI - Duncan  
Former Queen Margaret of Anjou - Courtney**


	12. SuckerBowl XLIV, Part 1

Normally the last place somebody would find me would be the library.

But now, when you're allied with dorks and planning to take down a group of steroid-crazed gorillas you have to do it in a library; or at least somewhere the dorks feel comfortable so they can think straight without looking over their shoulder with paranoid eyes.

"So, the best and maybe only chance we have to take down those annoying jocks will be this Friday during the football match." The redhead dork explained.

It was already late January but it was still as fucking-freezing outside as it had been during December. Right now I was sitting on one of the couches on the library reception with Princess next to me, snuggling up to my shoulder.

"Why?" I asked him, grunting.

"Because our school football team, the Wawanakwa Beavers, hasn't won a single match in five years." The dork said. "If they lose the next match they play, which is this Friday, they will officially obtain the title of the worst high school football team in Canadian history! If we make them lose, they'll lose whatever popularity and support they have and we can easily take them down!"

"So how are we gonna make them lose?" Courtney asked.

"Well, Cody came up with a great plan, right?"

"Yes." The techno-geek stood up and began to talk. "My plan involved putting up the three D's...Discourage, Divide and Debilitate. First is discourage, for this we get one of us to sneak into the team's locker room and dye their uniforms pink. Then Divide, we put some mikes in locker room and in the team members' rooms in the dorm and listen whether anybody tells anyone anything secretive or important, then we tell everybody what they said. Finally Debilitate, we get a whole bunch of sleeping pills from Mr. Cardigan's market/butchery/pharmacy/dairy queen and put them in the team's quench before the match, so when they drink it before going out they get all drowsy and weak."

"Excellent!" Harold exclaimed. "Duncan and Courtney, we will get the stuff together and we'll call you up when you have to do anything...for now you're good."

"Great...let's get out of here." I whispered to Princess.

Princess and I walked out of the library and realized it was already getting dark.

"Alright Duncan, let's head into town for our date." She commanded.

"Sir, yes sir." I teasingly replied.

* * *

"So, tell me a bit about your family." Princess said.

We were sitting down in a bench in one of the docks at Wawanakwa Beach, watching the sunset and stuff. Normally that would be totally boring, but hell, talking with Princess always keeps me entertained. That's one good thing about me and her being completely different, there's always something new to talk about or find out about her...if we were both the same, it would never last because I'd get bored fast.

"My family? OK." I began.

I began to think about what to tell Princess.

"Well, I already told you my folks never paid that much attention to me." I began. "That's why I get into trouble, to piss them off. Though it's mostly about my dad."

"Your dad?"

"Yeah my mom was always nice to me even when I got into trouble...sure she'd scold me but she'd still be acting motherly later on, but my dad was a real jerk about it. After I committed my first arrested felony he didn't only ignore me but whenever he didn't ignore me he'd make it clear how little he expected of me."

Then as per predicted, Princess hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"You're not the one who should apologize, douchebag pops should."

"Duncan, don't swear."

Good ol' Courtney, always being a cold-hearted moralist even in the most soul-touching situations. Hell, she was still alright.

"Any brothers?" She asked.

"Three. Two older, one younger. My older brothers Derek and Danny are both 25 year-old twins and my younger brother Dylan is 13." I briefed her. "Dylan can be a pest but he's alright and my older brothers are cool, when they're not on duty."

"Duty?"

"Oh yeah, they're both cops...and so are my parents."

"So, you're a criminal and your parents are cops?"

"Weird, right?" I answered. "Anyway, what about you? What kind of parents raised your tight ass?"

"Not funny, Dunkie." She sneered.

She sighed.

"Well, I have to say that I envy your family a little because unlike you, both of my parents were never very kind. They always insisted that I do well in everything and that in 'the real world' you have to come out on top if you don't want to get shoved around by an employer. So I always had to have straight A's and be number one in my class and could never have any friends because my parents wouldn't allow it and they'd go out of their way to make sure I couldn't be with them." Princess explained. "Plus I don't have any siblings to spend time with, so being an only child just gave them more time to pressure me."

"Wow, your parents sound so cliché." I laughed.

"It's not funny!"

"Whatever...so Princess, how come your parents pressured you that much yet still you have a delinquent boyfriend and have been able to take place in so many brawls?" I asked, curious.

"Yes, my mom and dad had marriage trouble recently so they pulled me out of my old high school, bought a house here in Wawanakwa, then we moved here permanently, then they signed me up in this school and went on a year long second-honeymoon cruise." Princess explained.

She sighed, and looked really downtrodden.

"What's up?"

"It's just that it's a bit hard not seeing them for so long."

"Didn't you hate them for pressuring you so much and not letting you have fun?"

"I didn't say I hated them...I don't like how much they demand me but they're still my parents and even if they're not very fair I still miss them." Princess answered.

"Yeah, I guess I miss my folks too. Mostly my mom." I admitted.

There was a moment of silence where we just stayed there looking at the horizon, her with her head on my shoulder and me with my arm wrapped around her waist. But then I decided to have a little fun.

"So, you have a house here all to yourself?"

"Yes, but I prefer to stay in the school's girls' dorm to be with friends and be closer to school...and you." She answered.

"But you can go to the house and do whatever ou want there whenever?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, I was just thinking it would be a good place for you and me to go one night and then do the nasty like animals." I teased.

She got off my shoulder.

"You're a pig you know that?" She yelled.

"Then you must be into bestiality because you dig this pig." I teased further.

"Just shut up and kiss me."

* * *

The next day I had another funny encounter.

It was right after leaving history class, taught by Mr. Jan Azi. I had gotten into the school bathroom, because I had to take a massive leak before I went to lunch. I finished peeing and when I got out of the stall I saw a really huge dude standing in front of the closed bathroom exit door.

"Hello maggot."

"Coach Hatchet?"

"That's right fool."

"What do you want, sir?" I asked mockingly, thinking about what we were going to to his beloved football team.

"I'm here to warn you, punk. I ain't got no proof, but I know about yo rivalry with my QB Tyler Thompson, so I'm pretty sure you're gonna try somethin' funny at this week's football match. You better not, because if we lose this game I'm gonna get fired as Coach o' the football team and I don't want that!" He yelled. "So if you do somethin' funny to my players, I'm a do somethin' funny to yo face! Got it, maggot?"

"Sir, yes sir." I agreed mockingly. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything to your jerks."

Fingers crossed.

"You better not! Now get outta my way! I gotta pee!"

* * *

The day had come.

"Alright everybody!" Harold yelled as he stepped inside.

We weren't at the library. No. We were at the nerds' real favourite hang-out. Did I mention that in Wawankwa City there is a forest on the outskirts of town near the school. Well in that forest there are three major buildings. A paintball shop which also used the forest for paintball matches, a madhouse and an abandoned chemical laboratory. The nerds had taken the abandoned lab as an HQ of sorts.

Now we were in said lab and Harold had just come in wearing a military uniform, but there was something peculiar about that uniform.

"Are you wearing a nazi uniform?" Courtney yelled.

That's it.

"I wanted to wear a military suit and the only ones they had in the drama department were these from the school's rendition of 'The Diary of Anne Frank'." The dork defended himself. "Plus, technically it's a Schutzstaffel uniform."

"What's that?" I asked.

"The Schutzstaffel or the "SS" were the Nazi secret police." Princess explained. "...And that was a Nazi organization so you are wearing a Nazi uniform."

"Whatever. Point is today is the day we take down der jocks!" He yelled.

"Did you say 'der jocks', using the word 'der' which is German for 'the'?" Cody asked.

"I think I did."

"Dude, I think you better take off that uniform." Cody said.

"I guess so. Anyway...Duncan, you'll have to sneak into the jocks' locker room and drop the sleeping pills into their quench this afternoon before the game." The dork ordered.

"What about the other two bits of the plan?" Princess asked.

"The rumor thing didn't work because nobody said anything and the guy whom we sent to dye their uniforms last night got caught. He dyed the uniforms but they still found him and beat him up. He's in the hospital. They also tripled security around the locker rooms, there's jocks watching every entrance and exit." The brown-haired nerd explained.

"Question, if security is so fucking tight, how am I gonna get in?" I asked.

"We thought about that and we have a solution. There is one person whom the jocks will let in and out without question. The school mascot." Harold began. "So you have to find him before the game, take him out, put on his costume and then lock him somewhere so he doesn't interrupt."

"Where do I find the dork?" I asked.

"He usually practices his routines in the abandoned lot behind the school." Cody said.

"Cool. One beat-up dork and one beaver costume coming up." I said and then began to head out of the lab and towards the school's back-lot.

* * *

Sure as hell there he was. Or rather, there they were.

In the abandoned lot behind the school grounds, which was covered in garbage and construction material surplus, was not only the dude wearing the giant beaver costume, but also four other assorted dorks. The other dorks didn't look like part of either the preps, nor the greasers, nor the jocks, nor the nerds so I assumed they were average, non-clique students...which by the definition were the most kickable asses in that place.

"You know, the other day I realized something." One dork said.

"What?" The costumed dude asked.

"That sports are awfully gay." The other answered.

"What?"

"I mean, think about it. For example boxing. Two dudes who half-naked, all sweaty, in silk shorts and fighting over a belt...totally gay!"

"You're right."

"Alright dorks, leave, I have business to talk with the other dork in the beaver suit." I demanded as I approached the beaver dude and his four friends.

"Who's that?" The dude in the costume asked with nerdiest voice possible, sounding like he ahd braces and spat whenever he uttered a sound.

"That's Duncan Hopkins!" Siad one of the dorks, scared.

What a chicken.

"Who?"

"You know, the dude who along with Courtney Rodríguez took over the preps and is brawling with the jocks and the greasers!"

"Oh, that guy." The beaver dude said, now getting a little scared.

"Yes and that guy wants you to give him your mascot suit." I demanded. "So hand it over and you won't get brutalized."

"I will never surrender the Mr. Slappy suit! When I received it I bowed that I would not allow this school emblem to be defaced!"

"Fine dork! We'll tango the hard way then."

One of the dorks charged at me, but he was the skinniest so as soon as he got near me I punched across the face and he fell to the floor. Before he could get up again I kicked him in the back and he fell. Then I felt two people grab my arms and one put his arm around my neck. They forced me to turn around and realized the three other dorks had grabbed me and now the loser in the Beaver suit was preparing to charge at me.

"Well Duncan Hopkins, you're not as tough as they make you out. You're going down." He told me, with that annoying voice.

Then the loser began to charge at me with his fist in the air.

"Au contraire."

I leaped my legs off the ground, causing me and the three dorks grabbing me to fall to the floor. The beaver dude then tripped over us and fell face first to the floor. The three dorks pulled me up again and using all my strength I jumped backward, crushing the guy holding me from behind between me and the beaver loser. I shoved off the two dorks by my arms and saw the beaver guy get up and knock the fat guy who was holding me from behind off himself. The fat guy was wasted, he wasn't gonna fight anymore.

The two remaining dorks stood up. One was a redhead and the other was Asian. The dorks tried to grab at my arms again but this time, when they grabbed me I swung my right arm forward, making the Asian kid backhand the redhead in the face and then swung my left arm forward, making the redhead back-hand the Asian in the face. When they were both startled I pulled my hands off their arms and then punched the Asian full-force into the right cheek, taking him down. The redhead swung at me but I ducked and punched him in the balls; when he doubled over I put both my hands together and brought them down on his hind-neck. Needless to say, he came down crying.

When I looked up I felt the punch strike me. The beaver douche had hit me in the face! Now he was gonna get it!

He came charging towards me with his fist up but I dodged the fist by ducking and then when he was hanging above me I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him up over my shoulder. I hopped backwards bad landed on top of the guy's face and torso, hearing him moan that painful moan which means you're out.

I rolled off the dude and saw that he was definitely beaten.

It took me very little time to get the costume off the dork and put it on myself. He was about my size but it was still a little tight...especially around the crotch and with my size down there, it was very uncomfortable.

Now to getting rid of the knocked out dorks and their friend who was now in his underwear. I looked around the lot to get inspired and soon saw a garbage container on wheels with a padlock with the key on it. Perfect.

I unlocked the padlock with the key and then pulled it open. I picked up the nerds one by one and stuffed them into the garbage container, leaving the one who used to have the costume for last. When I stuffed him in, he was waking up.

"Dude what are you doing?" He asked after I threw him into the container.

"Giving you dorks a little trip." I answered and slammed the lid shut on his face.

"Ow!"

I put the padlock back on the container and locked it with the key. As soon as I made sure there was no way the dorks would get out without help I sighed to myself and kicked the container, making it start to go down a small hill behind the lot.

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" I heard the dork who used to have the costume on yell as the container went down.

When it hit the bottom of the hill, it flipped over and landed on its side. I swear I could hear the nerd yell in pain.

I tell you...there is no sound sweeter.

* * *

**Sorry for the update taking so long. But please review!**

**Gracias Totales.**


	13. SuckerBowl XLIV, Part 2

"Alright nerds, I got the costume!" I yelled.

I walked into the old, abandoned science lab those nerds used as a base, wearing all the costume except the beaver mask.

"YES!" Harold exclaimed in his dorky way. "Now, go meet up with Cody who's at the entrance of the library and he'll give you the sleeping pills to drop into the jocks' pre-game quench."

"Alright."

I put on the stupid mascot mask and walked out of the place.

* * *

Dressed in the dorky outfit I made my way to the library and got the pills from the dork, Cody.

I made my way over to the school gym, where the locker rooms were and saw two jock gorillas from the basketball team standing at the entrance. From what Princess had told me, the members of the different sports teams of the school acted a security for each other when they had a game as locals, watching out for the locker rooms, the equipment storage and uniform deposit room in case the rival school attempted sabotage...but they did not expect attempts from the inside, which is why I could easily get through security in the costume without many questions asked.

As soon as I got close to the gym entrance, the two apes guarding the door began to grin like retards.

"Hey mascot dork, why don't you do your little dance for us?" One of them said.

Well, a flaw in the plan was that I did not see that coming and didn't know the fucking dance routine. So in order to try and luck out of that one, I tired to put on the nerdiest voice I could.

"I'd rather not, I don't wanna sprain myself or anything like that before the big game, GOSH!" I said, imitating the dorkiest guy I know...Harold.

"Fine dorko." The other one said and pushed open the door for me.

As I got in one of the douches shoved me and I fell to the floor as they laughed like assholes. Easy Duncan...resist the impulse to grab the sleeping pill jar and cram it down the jerk's throat while I stab him with my pocket-knife in the knee. Resist it.

I calmed myself down and picked myself up to head to the lockers. The lockers were in a small hallway that connected the gym with the indoor pool. The hallway could only be accessed by stairs that went down to it from both the gym and the pool.

So I went down that small flight of the stairs to the small hallway and got into the boys' locker room. Sure as hell like the nerds told me, the cooler with the quench was in there. I slowly walked towards it and opened the top, revealing a giant cooler-full of orange colored sports drink. I took off my mask and reached into the costume to pull out two big jars. I pulled the cap off of one and looked inside. The dorks told me they'd ground the pills so they'd mix in quicker and so I poured int he sleeping pill dust all into the quench. I did the same with he second jar of the la-la land pellets and then grabbed a hockey stick that was against a wall and used it to stir the thing carefully so the dust dissolved into the quench without leaving any clearly marked visible traces.

I slid the hockey stick under the lockers so whomever owned it wouldn't see it was wet and then , to add insult to later injury, I cracked open Tyler's locker and stuffed the jars at the bottom so he'd find them after the game. However, while I rummaged through his locker, I spotted a little something interesting. There was a small, half-empty beer bottle under a sweater. OK, now I decided to add a personal touch of mine. I'd played sports drunk before, so I knew you can't do it well. I grabbed the bottle, opened it and poured the remains of it into the quench. It was light beer and little of it so the mixture of sleeping pills with it wouldn't kill them or put them to sleep, but it would make them really drowsy. I also knew what sports quench tasted like, so they wouldn't be able to difference it from the little booze I put in.

I put on the stupid-ass beaver costume mask on again and then walked out of the locker room. As I left through the gym I could hear the football team approach through the pool-side, so I quickly ran to the exit and made it past the basketball team guards.

Mission A-fucking-complished!

Well, now that I was out on the clear and away from those jocko-homos with my job done, I'd promised Princess we'd go on a short date and then we'd have to go back and meet up with the nerds after the game was over and the jocks (hopefully) lost.

Can't really know if a plan will work until it does and I knew that, thanks to experience from countless failed robberies I just managed to get away from or got arrested for.

So, I took off the beaver costume in my room at the dorm and put it away under my bed, since the nerds told me to put it on afterwards when I went to meet them after the game. After that I walked out to the girls' dorm, where Princess was waiting for me.

"Hey babe." I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her briefly on the lips. "How you doin'?"

She giggled.

"I'm fine. Did you pull it off?" She asked.

"Let's just say there's gonna be a bunch of tipsy jocks roaming the school football field tonight, babe." I told her, snickering.

And so we went off on our little date.

* * *

It was at about 7:30 PM.

Harold rang me up on my cellphone while I was making out with Princess and she, in her ever phony-respectful attitude, demanded I answer.

So I did and the dorks told me that, as calculated, the jocks lost the game and everybody left the field in bitter disappointment. He said a lot of the jocks were still in the field, since the coach forced them to clean up the mess the audience made as punishment for losing 49-0. Finally he instructed me to go back to the lab so we could plan out how to finish off the jocks and then make "hostile takeover".

Princess she had to stop over somewhere so she told me to go ahead and after putting on the beaver costume again I began to head for the abandoned lab the nerds used as an HQ. On the way, I had to cross the football field.

From a distance, since I was at about half-court while they were at the touchdown line, I could hear the football team argue.

"I can't believe we fucking lost, guys!" Tyler yelled. "We're now officially the worst school football team in Canadian HISTORY! THE WORST! Right about now we're just as cool as the nerds we beat up! We're like the nerds!"

"We're so not." Billy countered. "We're strong, the nerds are wimps."

"Yeah, but now people are gonna respect us just as much as those nerds." Tyler said. "We can threaten and bully them, but it won't change shit. We were awful, it looked like we were all drunk!"

If only he knew.

"Weird, I felt really drowsy during the whole game." One said.

"Me too." Another bunch answered.

"Hey! Look over there, it's the dumb mascot!" One yelled.

Oh shit!

"YOU! Mascot! You were not here at all during the game!" Phil screamed.

"Yeah, it's thanks to you not cheering us that we lost!" Billy said.

"One of you get him. Kicking that dumb, nerd mascot's ass will make me feel better." Tyler ordered.

Then one of the jocks, dressed in full uniform with helmet whose name I didn't know began to charge at me. Sure as hell, when he got close enough to tackle me I dodged him and he fell to the floor. When he was getting up I shoved him to the floor with my foot by pushing it against the grid of his football helmet and when he was on his back I jumped on him, landing my elbow to his stomach. I got up, pulled off his helmet and then punched him square in the face just to make sure he wouldn't get up.

"That's not the normal mascot dude, the normal one never fights!" Billy said.

"Who the fuck are you?" Tyler yelled.

Seeing it as about time, I slowly pulled off the costume's mask and flashed him my signature smirk, even though I don't know if he could make it out from so far away. He did however make out my face.

"Surprised?" I mocked.

"Hopkins! You sabotaged us didn't you?"

"Define 'sabotage'." I mocked him.

"First you embarrass me" Then my girl! Then you make me lose my rightful role in the play and now you ruin my sport! You're in for it now, asshole!"

"Hey, even if I hadn't messed with the play you still wouldn't have gotten it! Your acting sucks more than Kristen Stewart's!" I screamed.

"Fuck, that's it! Numbers 6, 10 and 12...GET HIM!"

"We have names, you know?"

"SHUT UP AND KICK HIS ASS!" He yelled.

The four dudes began to come at me, two of them with helmets, one without.

"DJ, go get the medicine balls! Billy, go get some back up from the basketball team, they're at the storage room." I heard Tyler said.

"Ty, I'm not sure 'bout this anymore." DJ complained.

"Just do it."

"Fine."

I had to stop listening to their conversation because the three jocks were getting close. The first one didnt' have a helmet, so as soon as he was about to charge at me I elbowed him to the side of the head, and even though he did knock me to the ground, I knocked him down too but I managed to get up faster.

Soon as I got up, one of the helmeted dudes grabbed me and another helmet wearing one charged at me and headbutted my chest. I coughed out in pain, spitting after he nailed the toughest blow I had probably taken that year. Just as he was about to ram at me with the fucking helmet again, I pushed forward and bent over, making the guy holding me from behind bend as well and making the other dude headbutt this dude int he head while both wore helmets. After both of them got stunned, I threw off the dude holding me and took off his helmet. While he was still a little out of it, I slammed his own helmet on the back of his head and knocked him to the floor. Then I jumped on top of him and elbowed the back of his head.

After I got up, I ran over to the other helmet douche and quickly pulled off his helmet. When he looked up at me after this, I headbutted him with square in the face, giving him a nosebleed. Then I hit him with his own helmet in the balls and finally knocked him down when I headbutted him on the back of his head after he doubled over to clutch his fun-sacks.

After I pulled off the annoying football helmet, I felt something hard and heavy hit my shoulder. I cluthced the struck area in pain and looke down at what had injured my hurt body part. A red medicine ball was lying on the ground. Just as I looked up I saw another one coming to me and quickly dodged the falling 15 lb projectile.

I looked towards the asshole jock leader and saw that now there were at least twelve jocks forming a defensive semi-circle line. At the center of the semi-circle were Tyler, his strong-arm DJ and his second-in-command Billy. The jerks had a giant basket stocked full of medicine balls and from the looks of it they were gonna lob 'em at me.

"Alright, defense guys, hold position...we'll handle him." Tyler instructed.

"Tyler, I'm not sure this is the best idea." DJ hesitated.

"DJ, just shut up and throw balls at him! He made us look like fools in front of the whole school!" Tyler ordered.

"Fine, I guess."

"Now...Number 8 you-"

I made him shut up right about then because I threw back one of the balls they'd tossed me at number 8 and nailed him on the side of the head, knocking him out.

"Fuck it! DJ, Billy, elt's flign at him!"

All three jocks threw their balls at me and I had to dodge all three, nearly getting hit by DJ's. As quickly as I could I grabbed one of the balls and flung it back, but the jock I tossed it at dodged and tossed it back to the three generals.

Tyler flung a ball at me but I dodged, dove out of the way. Just then Billy threw one and hit me in the back. I got up and saw one coming straight at my face. In a split second reaction, I caught the ball before it could hit me in the forehead. I threw the ball I'd caught at another defence jock and quickly reached for another on the floor and threw it at the same dude. He'd dodged the first one, but this one nailed him in the face and knocked him down.

I picked up another ball, but it got knocked off my hand when some dude tackled to the floor. Whomever it was grabbed my head when I was on the floor and smacked it against the ground once before picking me up. Another dude grabbed me and pulled me up and I then staring at a third dude, whom I realized was one of the jerks who was holding guard at the gym when I got in with the costume.

"Finally some back up." Tyler yelled.

"So you're the mascot dude." The guard said. "This is gonna be fun!"

As I was about to take a punch one of the dudes holding me grunted and fell to the floor, a red medicine ball dropping next to him.

"Let of my man, you steroid-pumped neanderthals!"

Princess! Fuck yeah!

Another ball hit the other dude holding me, who also fell to the floor. The third dude got distracted looking at Princess, so I quickly drove my fist into his left eye and then kicked his balls, effectively putting him out of the fight.

I turned around and ran to Princess, who was holding a medicine ball in her hand and hugged her.

"Babe, I've never been more glad to see you." I told her.

"Thanks Dunkie."

Just about then one of the balls hit me in the lower back and I was forced to let go Courtney and clutch the afflicted area in pain. I looked up at Princess, who aggressively flung the ball at one of the defence dudes and even though I couldn't see where she hit him, he was moaning on the ground by when I got up and picked up another ball to fling at another dude, knocking him down as well.

There were now eight guys left on the defense semi-circle surrounding the three leaders.

Princess and I picked up balls and began to fling them at the eight remaining dudes, while Billy and Tyler threw balls at us...however DJ wasn't throwing any at us at all.

Just then a ball Billy had flung connected with Princess' shoulder, making her whine in pain.

"Courtney!"

Oh fuck off, the dude's dead.

I grabbed a ball and as fast as hell I threw it at an open spot in the defence, nailing Billy in the chest. I picked up another and threw it at his legs, but I instead hit his balls, which was better and finally, before the defence could protect him I grabbed a third ball and threw it straight at his face, knocking him down and out.

Billy was out – one general less to blast.

"Billy!" Tyler cried.

He turned to DJ.

"DJ start flinging!" He ordered.

They'd stopped throwing balls at us, so I listened intently.

"I can't dude, there's a girl there and there's no way in hell I'm hurtin' a girl! Momma didn't raise me like that." DJ proclaimed, steadfast.

"Steadfast"...seriously, Princess' vocabulary is rubbing off on me.

"Screw your mama! Throw balls!" Tyler commanded, thrusting a ball into DJ's hands.

Even from a distance I could see DJ's last nerve pop.

"OK! Want me to start flingin'? Fine, here you go!"

Then DJ did something unexpected and threw the red ball at the back of one of the defense guys' heads, knocking him out cold.

"DJ, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm throwin' balls, just like you asked!"

Then DJ threw another one at a defense dude, taking him down too.

"Defense! Get DJ!"

"What?"

"Get him!"

Without questioning again, the six remaining defense dudes charged at DJ.

Princess and I took this opportunity. We each grabbed a ball and ran from mid-field all the way to the touchdown line. With all my strength I threw my ball at one defense guy. The ball hit him on the side of the face and it knocked him into the goal pole, plastering him. Princess did the same with another guy, taking him out.

Two dudes were holding DJ's arms, while two other punched him. Princess went for a puncher and took him out with a butterfly kick to the face. I instead grabbed the puncher's arm, holding him by it and gave him three quick face punches before shoving him to the floor and taking out his groin with a huge kick.

I gave one of the dudes holding DJ's arms in place nelson hold, pinning his arms behind mine and Courtney did the same with the other one. Quickly DJ flung his elbow in the face of the one Princess was holding and punched the one I held int hr throat, taking them both out.

Now there was only Tyler left.

When I turned to him, the douche was beginning to run away and had already gotten a pretty good head start.

"Oh no, you don't!" DJ bellowed.

The tall former-jock grabbed one of the medicine balls and began to spin around as if about to hammer toss it. In the end he did hammer toss it and the ball flew across the air until it struck Tyler in the lower back, knocking him to the ground.

Princess, DJ and I slowly walked over to the fallen jock leader and just as he was getting up I gave him a single, super-furious, super strong punch square in the jaw. The douche whined and fell to the ground with a nasty thud.

"Jesus, even that wimp Noah took more than just one punch." I spat at him.

The guy just moaned.

"Princess, would you mind handing me your cellphone?" I asked her.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

My girlfriend sighed and passed me her phone. I opened it up and put it on camera. Quickly I took a couple of pictures of Tyler and of the several injured jocks scattered around the field and the touchdown area.

"Well Tyler, it was really fun fighting you and kicking your ass. Now that you've lost I'm gonna put you under the same schedule I put the preps. You work for me now. What I says goes, you get me?" I said.

Just to show my point I kicked him hard on the side, making him whine again.

"Yeah."

"Cool and just in case...if either you or any of your retarded over-developed monkeys decides to play it smart with me I've got here a whole lotta pictures of how fucking-badly I kicked your ass which will get distributed around the school if any of you tires ta' get cocky alright. Did you hear me? Huh?" I threatened.

I yelled at him and kicked him once more just for fun. He whined and replied.

"Yeah." He answered.

"Alright...whew, that felt good." I said.

Just for the fucking fun of it I kicked him one last time and then all the tension and arenaline made me wlak over to Princess and give her the most raging kiss I could managed. When I pulled away she was speechless.

"So DJ, thanks for the help." I told him while I held my blown away Princess in my arms.

"No problem." He replied. "The guy had it comin' for startin' all that fightin' and insultin' my momma, anyway."

"Alright, you go along now. I have to take care of Princess here." I told him.

"Sure." He said and walked away. "Have fun you two."

"Oh I will." I yelled back.

I sighed and looked down at my beautiful girl. Hell, if you look past her complaining and over-competitive nature, there's a million things about this broad that make her perfect. Her aggressiveness, her take-charge attitude, her guts, her brains, her determination, her faithfulness, her strength, both physical and character-wise and her cute moments. Plus it didn't hurt that she was fucking hot.

I love her.

Yeah, you heard me...love her.

"So babe, where wer-"

Before I could go on she pounced at my lips and gave me a kiss twice as fierce as the one I'd given her. I was a little surprised so I accidentally let go off her and dropped her on the floor. Oops...

"DUNCAN!"

"Sorry." I said as I helped her up.

Clearly she didn't care too much as she pounced at my lips and we began to make out. She slid her tongue into my mouth with deep ferociousnes So much we collapsed onto the floor and I fell on my back.

"Ouch...my pelvis." Tyler moaned as my elbow landed on his Johnson.


	14. Stop The Presses

The thing that makes History class my favourite subject is the fact that it's easy to cheat. I can just not pay attention in class at all and then get all the facts from a textbook and write them down on my leg so I can sneakily look at it during a test. Sure, there's a lot of deduction to do but I can make some of it and with that I have enough credit for a nice C-.

The other thing that makes it so is that it's one of the classes I have with my sweet Princess.

"...And that children is why I told the American World History Association that the Nazis were the ones who really won World War II and that we are all right now in some sort of virtual reality system while in the real world we are used as energy cells to power evil Nazi machines of fascist world conquest." The teacher, Mr. John Azi explained. "Questions?"

What the fuck? If this is the kinda stuff that he says all the time then I should pay more attention in class, I thought.

"Yeah, isn't that the plot of 'The Matrix'?" Noah asked.

"No." Mr. Azi replied. "There were no Nazis in 'The Matrix'."

"Maybe but other than that it's the sa-"

"SHUT UP!"

Then the bell rang.

"OK, class dismissed." Said Mr. Azi. "Tomorrow I'll explain the procedure through which after finding the Fountain of Youth, Vladimir Lenin became immortal and since he didn't want to live like a poor asshole all his life he fled to the US, got some plastic surgery and became Marlon Brando."

As we all walked out of class Princess and I met up.

"So babe, what are we doing today?" I asked.

"I'm hanging out with Bridgette tonight." Princess told me. "But right now I'm free so I could help you study for the History test which you undoubtedly forgot we had next week and probably didn't prepare for at all."

"It's amazing how you can read me, honey." I told her and kissed the top of her head, which made her blush.

"OK, now let's go to the library so I can teach you about what really happened in Nazi Germany and not what Mr. Azi claims happened with his crazy conspiracy theories." Princess said as she smiled.

"How the hell is he not in a mental ward yet?" I thought out loud.

"They probably locked him up in the asylum outside town and he was so crazy they had to let him out because they couldn't help him." Courtney added.

"There's an asylum outside town?"

"Yeah, 'The Merry Maniac Mental Institution'."

"'Merry Maniac'?"

"The man who created it later became one of the patients."

"Oh."

Anyway, Princess and I walked to the library. You see, after we beat the jocks everybody around the school started to give me a little more respect...Or rather they started being afraid of me but respect and fear is basically the same thing. So now the nerds didn't bother me anymore. Sure some of them got on my nerves at times and I would pick on them but they mostly left me alone. Me and Princess still had our privilege to use the prep dorm flat screen TV, which she insisted we did every Friday to watch 'Glee'...uuhh. Plus, the jocks were no longer in my way. Everything was how it was supposed to be...

...Well, almost everything. The greasers were still a nerve wrecker and I would take care of them eventually.

"OK, so...Hitler hated Jews." I concluded.

"Duncan, I already said it. Yes, for the millionth time, yes!" Princess grunted.

"Sorry, I just don't see why."

"That's the point, it was irrational hatred...he had no good reason other than crazy bigotry because he thought that somehow all Jews in the world had conspired to make Germany lose World War I because he was a psycho."

"Oh."

"Now, who were the leaders of the Nazi High Command?" Princess asked.

"The what?"

I had no idea what that was.

Princess slapped herself on the forehead and thought for a second as if trying to rephrase the question?

"I got it. Who were the members of Hitler's posse?"

OH! I knew that one.

"Himmler, Goebbels Göring, Hess and Von Ribbentrop."

"Good."

"Don't forget Martin Bormann."

I turned around and saw DJ standing there.

You see, after the whole battle with the jocks Princess and I got friendly with DJ, he hangs out with us and the previous week he and Geoff helped me prank the shit out of Principal McClean. You see, it was already spring by then but we made fake snow out of ground ice and put it on McClean's window so he thought it was snowing and went out in snow gear. He almost melted to death. It was funny.

"Hi DJ." Princess said.

"What are you doing here, dude? I thought it was jock heresy to be in the library." I teased.

"Well, I don't really go along with the whole jock stereotype thing."

"We've noticed."

"But I am here for other reasons though."

As he said that, he blushed slightly. Apparently Princess noticed too.

"DJ, why did you blush just now?" She asked.

"I didn't blush."

As he said that his eyes quickly shot to the left and he looked somewhere, I followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at. The only thing that could have made him blush that was located towards where he had looked was Heather Gauthier. She was sitting on a chair holding a book titled "So You Think You Can Do Modern Dance?" by Duncan Isadora. Huh, author's got my first name.

"Oh god, no!" I yelled.

Apparently Princess saw the same thing as I did.

"DJ, You like Hea-"

Before she could finish DJ covered her mouth.

"Don't say it out loud." He whispered.

He let go of my Princess' mouth.

"How can you like Heather?" She asked sharply. "She's a bitch."

"No, she's not."

We looked at him with a disbelieving glare.

"OK, with most people she is but not with me." He told us. "Last month she tried to join the cheerleadin' squad but they didn't let her and since she knew I know how to dance she asked me for help. So for the past month I've been helpin' her train and she's really good to me. She was mean at first but I think I've grown on her and she definitely grew on me."

"Weren't you dating that cheerleader Katie?" Courtney asked.

"That didn't work out."

"DJ, if Noah finds out he will murder you." Princess whispered.

"I think he's distracted with something else." DJ remarked.

"What?"

The tall guy motioned us to follow him. We did so and he led us to a place behind some bookshelves around the back of the library where there were more study tables and there we saw Noah sitting on a table with somebody else there. A certain blonde.

"Gosh Nathan these Patzi guys sound really mean." Lindsay said, her usual stupidity still there.

"I'm Noah and they were the NAZIS and yes they were. They were homophobic, antisemitic, racist misogynists." Noah explained.

"Noah, you're funny because you use long, funny words." She giggled.

"If I pump hydrogen into your skull, will it react with all the oxygen in there to form a lake?" He remarked.

"If you think so then it must be true because you are really smart." Lindsay replied.

"This is so futile." Noah said and slapped his face.

"That slut is hitting on another guy?" Princess shrieked.

"Actually, I've talked to Lindsay 'cause I'm kinda her friend and the only guy she hits on is Tyler." DJ said.

"What?"

"Yeah, she thinks Trent and her are only friends. Every time they've gone out whenever he tried to kiss her she didn't let him. She think they go out as friends. She says her only boyfriend is Tyler." DJ explained.

"Then what's with all the feud?" I asked.

"Because he didn't ask her and she didn't tell him. I told him but it was after the whole fight we had and he doesn't trust me anymore." DJ answered.

"Then what's with this?"

"Noah's tutoring her for next week's text. He said he could tutor anybody to pass a test and since he doesn't want that statement to go down he's been workin' his butt off to get her to pass the test and he hasn't been payin' much attention to Heather lately." DJ explained yet again.

"You sure know a lotta stuff."

"Both Lindsay and Heather tell me everythin'."

* * *

The next day became important when I was at the cafeteria. I was standing in line to get some of the crap that Wawankwa Academy called meatloaf next to my boy, Geoff.

"...And Bridge kinda like dove off the dock and rescued that little dog. It was awesome, she can swim like totally fast." Geoff finished his story.

"Real interesting, Geoff." I said with an obvious sarcasm that Geoff did not notice since he kept up his goofy smile.

"Yo punk, move it. You stallin' the line."

"What the?"

I turned to look at the guy who yelled at me.

"Coach Hatchet?"

"It's Chef Hatchet now. Since I lost the game they kicked me off as gym teacher and I could only get a job here." Hatchet exclaimed. "Now grab yo disgustin' slop and move yo ass outta ma line, boy!"

A little freaked out by the huge angry guy threatening me I picked up my food and rushed off to my usual table, followed by Geoff. Soon we were joined by DJ and Malibu.

"Hey lover." Blondie said as she sat down next to Geoff and gave him a peck on the lips.

Then he returned it, she again and sure as hell they then started to make out.

"I'm eating here." I said, forcing the two apart.

"Sorry, dude." Geoff apologized.

Then, my girl showed up but with a considerably rougher attitude than Malibu Bridgette. Princess came up to the table with her food, rested her tray next to mine and the slammed a newspaper on the middle of the table.

"You have to look at this!" She exclaimed.

"First, hey babe how are you? Second what is that?" I asked.

"This is the school newspaper, 'The Weekly Blabbermouth'." Princess answered.

"There's a school newspaper?" I asked.

"Yeah and check out the headline story on page one." Princess instructed.

DJ picked up the paper and put it on page one for all of us to see. Oh shit.

On the front page it read:

**Lindsay Petersen seen flirting with Noah Harrington in the school library**

Right underneath the headline was a picture of Noah and Lindsay in the library as well as a whole article about it.

"This is gonna lead to some major trouble, dudes." Geoff said.

"Poor Noah." Malibu muttered.

"He is gonna get wailed on." I said.

"You know this doesn't sound very journalistic." Malibu commented.

"Of course it's not." Princess concluded. "The entire paper is edited by Sierra Winchell and she's as objective as Fox News."

* * *

About an hour later Princess and DJ decided they would go find Sierra and talk her out of printing any more stories of that type. Meanwhile I decided to go out for a walk around the school grounds and rejoice in the fact that people parted like the Red-fucking-Sea to let me through when I walked by.

However, I stumbled upon a little something on my little walk.

The school parking lot was greaser turf. This was because they always parked their bikes there. Since it was their turf it was easy to walk by there and see the greasers beating down a dude because other than early in the morning when teachers arrive and at the end of classes when they leave there was nobody there.

Right at that time there were six people in the parking lot. Five pissed off greasers and one tiny prep.

"Alright smart ass, Trent doesn't appreciate it that you were flirting with his girl." One of the d-bags said.

"First off I wasn't flirting with her I was tutoring her for a history test; second, she's not even his girl she thinks they're friends. She figures she's dating Tyler." Noah shot back.

"OK, he asked for it."

One of the greasers charged for Noah but before he could strike, the little dork reached back and grabbed the first thing he could, which was a wooden rod. He swung the rod forward, hitting the greaser in the face and knocking him out. Just then the other greasers reached for him.

Now I normally wouldn't try to save a guy who's as much of a dick as Noah, especially not since he was trying to kill me when I first got here. But Noah was working for me then and if I wanted to keep allies I would have to help him.

I ran for the parking lot and punched one of the greasers on the back of the head. As he turned around to face me I kicked him on the knee, causing him to double over and then I immediately punched him across the face again.

The guy fell to the floor and as soon as he was down I swung for another guy next to him. I blew him across the face one with my left fist, then with my right and I took him down by kneeing him in the groin.

Before the greaser collapsed, another one punched me in the face and I got spun 'round. I felt one of them put me in a nelson hold and my arms got pinned behind his just as the other remaining greaser stood in front of me. He punched me in the gut twice before I heard a bonking sound and the greaser holding me from behind let go and fell to the floor.

Somebody then shoved me to the floor and I managed to see that the somebody was Noah, who pushed me aside and then hit the remaining the greaser in the face with the wooden rod. He hit the greaser in the face again and then smacked him in the back of the knee, causing him to flex it. As he flexed his knee, the prep shoved his face off with his foot and tumbled him to the ground. Noah quickly hit the guy in the balls with the wooden rod and that left him out of the fight for good.

Don't I think I need to say that I was a bit shocked that the little guy could put up a big fight. Sure, he had to use a weapon but...Damn!

"So Duncan, are you OK?" He choked out.

He held out his hand and helped me up.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Why'd you save me?"

"Hey, you and your preps work for me and I gotta take care of my workers." I told him.

"Fair enough. I guess I owe you one." He told me.

"Yeah, pretty much."I replied.

* * *

I saw Princess again on the third period after lunch, math class which was taught by Mr. Mark Sizm.

"Alright class, I graded your quizzes." Mr. Sizm said as he stepped into class.

He proceeded to hand out the tests and I was surprised to have gotten a B+. I was even more surprised because I definitely didn't get enough questions right to have a B+.

"Hey, how come I only got a B+? I answered all questions correctly, it says so here. I deserve an A+." Princess wailed.

Soon several students agree with her.

"Children, you all got B+. You see, in this class I try to emulate a perfect society and in a perfect society we all get the same reward which is an average minimal to succeed regardless of who does more work. If you all got different grades based on how well you actually did, this class would be a decadent imperialist society of evil run by the exploiting bourgeoisie." Mr. Mark Sizm explained.

"Crazy nutbag Russian." Courtney muttered.

"Chill Princess, this guy will get fired soon enough. There's already been a million complaints against him." I told her.

"I'm just pissed because this is the second bad thing that happened today. First Sierra refuses to stop printing bullshit and now this crap." She whined.

"So the phony chick still prints bullshit, huh?" I told her. "We'll handle it after class."

Indeed we'd handle it after class. After we were all done with the other bullshit classes for the day Princess and I went for a walk around the school halls until we found what we were looking for. A door with the words "Newspaper Club Room". Using my pick locking abilities I forced the lock on the newspaper room and both Princess and I slid in.

The place looked neat and tidy. There were five computers there, five printers and several tables and all that jazz.

"THAT BITCH!" Princess yelled.

"Woah Princess chill, what's up?" I asked.

"Look at this."

Princess picked up a paper and showed it to me.

The paper read:

**Duncan Hopkins and slutty girlfriend Courtney Rodríguez caught having sex in hallway closet**

"That slut was going to print this!"

"The keyword is 'was', babe."

I snatched the paper from her hands and tore into pieces.

"Are there any more copies?"

"No, it's the master print sheet."

"Cool, then let's get trashing."

Then Princess and I did the thing that I think most couples should do to bond. We trashed the workplace of an asshole who pissed off the both of us. I grabbed a chair and smashed it to pieces against the floor. Using one of the legs of the chair I smashed I proceeded to smash two computer monitors while Princess grabbed a printer and used it to break the table at the center of the room in half.

I grabbed another chair and used it to break one of the other printers while Courtney did the same. This was followed by her crushing a CPU with another CPU and then butterfly kicking a desk lamp into a thrid monitor and blowing it up. I doved off a chair onto the last remaining table while my darling girlfriend smashed stools onto the last remaining monitors.

I pulled out my black spray can and while my honey destroyed the last CPUs I spray painted a message on the wall:

**Printing bullshit is a bad idea**

Princess and I laughed in joy as we slowly left behind the destroyed printing room. We smiled and walked to the outside of the school. We had a nice date and made a lot of fun of the Sierra chick, trying to figure out how she'd react when she saw what she did to her printing room. Yeah, those moments of unrestrained violence were some of the things that made me fall in love with Princess.

She was a real wild girl inside.

* * *

**Sorry that it took me so logn to update this story but I didn't know how to continue it and I was a bit more concerned with "Living In New York". I'll try to update "Living In New York" and "All That Jazz" this week but it's not a guarantee.**

**Also, some of those who read the previous chapter of "Living In New York" asked me about the song that Trent and his band perform. The song is not an original by me it is in fact a partial translation of the song "Eiti Leda" by Serú Girán, one of, if not the best Argentine rock band ever. If you want to listen to it I recommend the live version from the 1982 album "No Llores Por Mí, Argenina" which is the best version.**


	15. The Rocky Horror Written Show

**OK, I just want to clear something up. This ch****apter is a tribute to one of my favourite movies of all time..."The Rocky Horror Picture Show". A lot of you might have just found out about this movie because of its recent tribute in "Glee", but I would like to clear up that this chapter has nothing to do with that episode. I had begun writing it way before the episode aired and I just found out it was gonna be made two days before it aired.**

**I had the idea of giving tribute to "Rocky Horror" first, "Glee" ripped me off. Besides, they made a fatal flaw in their tribute. How could they cast Mercedes, a woman, as transsexual Dr. Frank N. Furter...That's madness! A transsexual is a man dressed as a woman. A woman dressed as a woman is not a transsexual, it's a woman!**

**Also, I don't try to be a shameless self-promoter but please read my new story "All That Jazz" as a favour to me...Please? Thank You.**

**Here goes the chapter...**

**

* * *

**

You know something? Wawanakwa Academy's school newspaper was a strange thing. First off, in half a year of being in that school I didn't even know of its existence. It seemed like it had been introduced all of a sudden as a plot device for a story. Second off, ninety-nine percent of it was pure gossipy crap.

One particularly fucked-up part of said newspaper was the 'Who Did It This Week' section of it, which was basically a list of people who fucked during the previous week and where they did it. The fact that the list was pretty long showed that either that Sierra girl stalked a lot of people or she just made a lot of shit up.

Anyway, that shitty newspaper came into play in my story once again on a Wednesday afternoon. It was after class and I was walking around the lands I had recently conquered...those being the gym area and the football field which became my treading ground after I beat the goddamn jocks. I was walking down the football field when Princess came running up to me with a set of papers in her hand.

"Duncan! Duncan!" She yelled. "You have to see this!"

"Wassup, babe?"

My girlfriend reached me and handed me the papers, which turned out to be a copy of 'The Weekly Blabbermouth'. When I looked at the headline article I could already tell that trouble was going to be brewing again.

"Oh shit..."

It read, in large bold letters:

* * *

"**Heather Gauthier breaks up with Noah Harrington"**

* * *

"This is gonna cause some seriously bad shit!"

"I know!"

By then Princess and I were walking again while talking and soon we made it near some bleachers on the side of the field.

"Why do you think Heather broke up with Noah?" Princess asked me.

We then turned the corner on the bleachers to head up some concrete stairs that led out of the football field area, but while turning we caught glimpse of the underside of the bleachers and of two figures that were there.

Those two figures were Heather and my good friend DJ...and guess what? They were kissing. Holy shit.

I grabbed Princess's shoulder and pulled her to the front of the bleachers so that we could hear what they were saying but not be seen. For a while it was just the sound of some smooching, but soon enough they pulled apart and began to yak.

"That was...nice." I heard Heather say.

"Yeah." DJ replied. "So, we still up for that movie on Friday?"

"Of course, Deejy." Heather said.

Then I heard what I think was the bitch hugging DJ.

"You're a real nice guy, you know? You really do know how to treat a lady." Heather said to him.

Here a lady? HA!

"Who was that?"

Oh shit...then I realized I may have said that one out loud, which was confirmed a second later when Princess punched me in the shoulder and called me an idiot before Heather and DJ emerged from under the bleachers.

"What are you two doing here?" Heather yelled at us.

"Hearing about this abomination of nature." I answered. "DJ, when you told me and Court here that you had a crush on _her_I assumed it was just a passing thing. Not that you were going to actually kiss that hell-spawn!"

"Fuck you!" The skank yelled at me.

"Heather, remember that thing I told you 'bout snappin' at people?" DJ told her with a scolding look and a level tone.

She sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry." She answered. "It's just tough to break an old habit. Plus he was being such a dick, that little..."

"Heather...Heather...calm down." DJ said, putting his strong arms on Heather's shoulders in a soothing and steadying manner.

"Sure. I'll see you later, DJ." She said.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and with that the whore in blue left us.

"DJ, are you retarded?" I asked him.

"Huh?"

"You're dating the school's queen of mean and you're the school's nice kid. The whole opposite couple is just cliché." Courtney said.

"You guys are an opposite couple." DJ countered. "Doesn't that make you a cliché and retarded too?"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Princess yelled at him and tried to pounce on top of the big guy. "NOBODY QUESTIONS MY INTELLIGENCE!"

In order to stop Princess from gouging DJ's eyes out I had to grab her and hold her with all my strength, but she was pretty fucking strong.

"Court, calm down. You're not retarded, you're cool."

"OK." My girlfriend said, calming down.

She then seemed to notice something.

"Duncan..."

"Yeah?"

"Let go of my chest..."

I looked down and saw that indeed I was holding onto her by her boobs. I really hadn't noticed before, but now that I had I decided I might as well make the best of it and gave them a gentle squeeze. I soon suffered the consequences of it since Princess back-kicked my balls and I collapsed on the floor cluthcing them...but I still don't regret what I did...I mean man, come on, she's hot and I touched her boobs. It's every straight man's dream.

DJ helped me stand up while I gave Princess my trademark grin, which she tried to ignore but I could tell she was blushing. Anyway, I turned to DJ as he began to talk again.

"Alright guys, I wanna ask you for something." He said.

"What?"

"Well, like you heard just now, I'm takin' Heather to the movies this Friday. I'm takin' her to watch a Midnight screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" that they show every week in the local theater." DJ explained.

"The what now?" Princess asked.

"It's a crazy ass musical movie about some transvestite aliens and love and sexual freedom. It's a big cult hit." I told her smugly.

I really didn't like that movie.

"That sounds like your kinda movie...you know with all the sex." My girl said, scolding me apparently.

"It would be, but Susan Sarandon appears in her underwear. Sure she was like twenty back then but the woman is still butt-ugly." I explained.

She was butt-ugly.

"Plus when I saw it, everybody in the theater was dressed up like characters from the movie and they looked like absolute dorks. I mean, I love Halloween but those guys were all nerds dressed like trannies." I grunted. "How the hell did you get Heather to agree to go to that movie, dude?"

"That doesn't matter." DJ told us. "I just wanted to ask you if you could kinda watch over me and Heather while we're on our date. Even though she and Noah broke up I'm pretty sure that the greasers will send some thugs to bug her just to piss off Noah."

"Trent is still mad because Noah has been tutoring Lindsay?" Princess asked.

"Yeah."

"Is Tyler still jealous about her?"

"Not so much."

"Is she still oblivious about everything that's been going on?"

"Yeah."

"Damn...fine, we'll do it." Princess told him.

"Yeah! Thanks, you guys!" DJ cheered happily.

"Dude, don't cheer like a little girl in front of me...because even if you're my friend I will have to punch you." I warned him.

"Sorry." He apologized. "One last thing, though. You guys will have to blend in with the crowd so Trent's goons don't notice you. So you'll kinda have to wear costumes..."

"Oh shit no! That's going too far, man! I am not wearing some trannie costume!" I yelled.

"I'll pay you twenty bucks each..."

"Fine." I replied. "But I'm taking that twenty bucks for putting on the costume. If your date fails I still get them."

"Deal."

We agreed and then DJ left, heading to the guys' dorm while I still walked with Princess, though we headed towards the main school building to walk around it while talking. Princess liked to talk to me on our dates. I normally preferred something else during the dates that involved a little less words and a little more moans, but Princess wouldn't put out yet so that would have to wait. Anyway, I gotta say...it was fun talking to her. She's the first girl I ever enjoyed just talking to without working an angle. It was weird.

But as we walked we stumbled upon two people. A tall, fat guy and a short, skinny guy.

"Duncan." Noah said. "I need your help."

"What is it?"

"Well, you might find this a little hard to believe but...Heather broke up with me."

"No, seriously! With your charming personality? How could she?" I mocked sarcastically.

"First off, sarcasm is my thing and second off, keep laughing and we'll see whether I still want to pay you for your services." The dork told me, arms crossed and face stern.

"OK, go on." Princess told him.

"Anyway...Heather broke up with me, so instead of going out with her on Friday night I'm going with Owen here." He told us, pointing at the tubby guy standing next to him and who was waving stupidly at us.

"Since Trent's goons are still after me for tutoring Lindsay I was wondering if you two would act as bodyguards." He told us.

"We'll do it. But we'll charge you." Princess said.

"I imagined so. Meet us at the town's movie theater on Friday at 11:45." The dork instructed.

"Why so late?" Courtney asked.

"We're going to see this really crazy and funny movie that our friend Izzy told us about." Said Owen. "It's called 'The Roxie Horror Picture Show'."

"Rocky Horror Picture Show, Owen." The dork corrected.

"Oopsie!"

When I heard the movie's name, I got a blank face and shocked expression. This was gonna get messy.

"We'll meet you then." Noah finished and walked away with Owen.

When they left I turned to Princess and saw that she had the same expression as me.

"This is not gonna end well." I told her.

"Agreed."

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It was Friday. 11:45 PM. Princess and I were currently heading over to the town's movie place, The Überplex Lichtspielhaus, a movie theater owned and founded by an old German man called Mr. Hindler, who according to Princess arrived to Wawanakwa Town through suspicious means in late 1945.

Princess and I were already in our disguises, which were costumes from the "movie". Lucky enough for me there was a hardass biker in the film, Eddie, and I was dressed as him.

Princess originally intended to go there dressed in her usual attire and claim she was dressed as Janet, one of the uptight main characters, but I hid all her clothes and forced her to wear a costume that I had previously bought for her. It was the costume of the character Magenta, which I chose because the character wore a french maid uniform. Yep, I managed to get Princess dressed in a french maid uniform.

"So Princess, how are you enjoying the costume?" I teased her.

"Go fuck a landmine." She replied coldly while tugging her short skirt downwards.

Did I forget to mention that I got her a costume that was a couple sizes too small because "the store didn't have any bigger ones"? Well 'cause that's what happened. I did not do it on purpose at all. No, sir. OK, yeah I did.

We made it to the movie place and saw that two of our employers were already there.

Noah and Owen were already at the movie place's entrance. Noah was dressed as the character of Riff Raff, with a butler suit and a strange blonde wig which had only hair running down the sides and back, with a large bald-patch on the top of the scalp. Owen was dressed as Dr. Frank N. Furter, with a tight leather corset, knee-high leather boots, fishnet stocking and worst of all...some panties.

"Owen, are you wearing panties?" Princess asked, hesitating.

"Yeah, I wanted to dress as the main character. At first I had some doubts, but a girl told me I looked hot in the costume so I thought, what the hell..."

"No Owen, she didn't say 'hot' she said 'disgusting' and then threw up." Noah added, annoyed.

"She did?"

"Yes. Twice."

"I forgot about that...but she exaggerated. I don't look so bad." Said the fatty.

At that point he turned around and showed me the most horrifying thing I've seen in my life. His fat, round, pale ass flashed by the panties that were stuck on his crack. I covered my eyes and yelled, along with Princess and the dork.

"Owen! Turn around! Turn around! Jesus Christ, turn around!" Noah screamed.

I uncovered my eyes when I heard Owen turn around and then sighed in relief.

"Dude, if you ever do that again I will knife you!" I threatened him.

"Sorry."

"Alright, we're going in." Noah told us. "Make sure nobody gets to us."

"Yes sir." Princess replied.

A minute after fatty and dorky went into the theater, the hell-spawn couple arrived.

DJ was in a Brad costume, which was a nerd shirt, nerd pants, nerd shoes, nerd glasses, nerd everything. Heather on the other side was dressed as Columbia. The costume was a short, multicolor skirt; a tight, multicolor corset; a shiny, yellow jacket and a shiny, yellow top hat. Needless to say she looked hot. I didn't notice just how hot she was during our date, probably because she was bitching all the time, but she was hot now that she wasn't speaking. I wouldn't be with her since she was such a bitch but hell, smoking hot.

During the ensuing conversation, which was basically DJ telling us to look after them, I sneakily and slyly sneaked peeks at Heather's chest over the corset. She didn't notice, but apparently somebody else did.

As soon as DJ and Heather went in, my girlfriend slapped me upside the head.

"You were looking at Heather's tits!" She growled at me.

"What?"

"I saw you, every five seconds you looked at her tits over that slutty costume of hers!"

"Look babe, I can explain."

"Please do!"

"Sure Heather is hot and has a nice rack..."

"Not...helping!"

"...But, she's a total bitch. I could never get along with her, Court. You're my girlfriend and I want it to be that way for a very long time."

Then I noticed how Princess slightly formed a smile on her face. She tried to hold it back but couldn't. Then she hugged me.

"Fine...I forgive you. But don't stare at other girls ever again!"

"Deal." I told her. "Plus, I can just stare at you. I mean your rack is huge!"

"Shut up." She said and punched me in the shoulder, half playful and half angry.

* * *

The movie ended. After about two and a half hours of time warps, wild and untamed things, hot patooties, science fiction double features and sweet transvestites from transsexual Transylvania the movie was over.

It was I don't know what in the morning...like two thirty or something when it ended and all the crowd of freaks in costume left the theatre.

"Well, no greasers attacked. So our job is done." Princess told me.

Then DJ and Heather approached us and this time I made a (successful) effort not to look at Heather's slutty costume.

"You guys saw any greasers around?" DJ asked.

"No. The place was spic-spam free of '50's dumbasses." I told them.

"Good, then nothing can sabotage our date." Said the bitch and then kissed my friend on the lips.

Now, everything could have gone well if she hadn't done that because immediately after she did it...this happened.

"WHAT...THE...FUCK?"

I turned around and saw Noah and Owen standing there and Noah was clearly seeing red. Wort of all, he was holding a lead pipe and I had seen what that dork could do with one of those things.

"Heather, what the fuck?"

"Look Noah, we broke up." She said firmly.

"And immediately afterwards you go and kiss any random guy."

"DJ's not any random guy, he's a great guy and we've been friends for long. He knows how to treat a lady."

"You know what? I don't care anymore. You can be with any guy you want, I'm through. I just don't see how you could be so heartless!"

"Will you morons shut up!" I heard somebody else say.

We all turned around and saw about ten greasers standing across the street.

"Wait a minute...that's Noah Harrington in the butler suit and his girlfriend Heather in the circus bitch one! Let's get them!" The greaser yelled.

The ten greasers charged our way and eight surrounded DJ, Heather, Owen and Noah; though they didn't encircle me and Princess. The two other ones stood at my side.

"Come on, buddy...let's kick some ass."

The I realized something. I was wearing biker costume...the assholes thought I was one of them. I decided I might as well take the opportunity.

"Sure." I said, putting one arm around the neck of the greasers at either side of me. "I'll kick some ass."

Immediately I brought the two greasers' heads forward and banged them together. Before the other greasers could react I kicked one in the back of the leg. After he bent his leg downwards in reaction I punched him on the side of the head while Princess butterfly kicked a fourth greaser across the face and knocked him out.

I saw as a fifth greaser tried to punch DJ, but he wrapped his right arm around the guy's neck and swung him forward in the air, using his legs to saw the remaining five greasers across the face. He then tossed the greaser he had used as a weapon into a pile of trash cans lying around nearby.

A sixth greaser got up and tried to punch DJ again but he caught his fist and then punched him square in the jaw with full force, taking him down in one punch. Two more greasers got up and took hold of the tall jocks' arms, restraining him. However, they were quickly shoved aside by Noah, who hit the greaser holding DJ's left arm in the knee and then in the neck with his lead pipe and then struck the other greaser in the shoulder and then in the groin.

A ninth greaser tripped DJ and then shoved Noah to the ground with a punch to the stomach. Before he could go on, Owen pushed the ninth greaser to the floor and then looked down at him menacingly.

"This is for my Little Buddy!"

The big oaf leaped into the air and body-slammed himself on the greaser, crushing him under his huge belly. Owen rolled off the guy and I saw how he was left a human pancake. The final greaser tried to run but Heather tripped him and then stepped on his groin with her high-heeled shoe, doing damage to his balls that probably left him sterile.

It looked as if the battle was over but as soon as we all got up a big surprise came our way...and I mean a BIG surprise.

An eleventh, huge greaser came in. He was taller than DJ and way more muscular.

"HEY! You guys beat up my friends!" He yelled to us in a booming voice that sounded like it came from a 23 year-old man OD'ing on steroids.

"We'll take him." Princess and I said in unison as we steppd in front of the gorilla-man.

However, before I could cast a threat he grabbed Princess and shoved her against a wall.

"Hey, you fuck! That's my girlfr-"

Before I could finish he punched me in the gut and then shoved me against the same wall, right next to Courtney. He then stormed forward.

"You're Noah Harrington!" He bellowed while pointing at Noah. "The boss wants me to kick your ass into your skull...and I will!"

DJ stepped in front of him.

"Like hell you will!"

DJ swung a punch at the huge dude, but he simply caught my friend's fist in his hand and bent it forward into DJ's wrist, forcing DJ to kneel down to avoid the pain. Once he was on one knee, the giant greaser swung his knee at DJ's chin and knocked him down. He strutted forward and quickly shoved Heather against the wall when she tried to attack him for what he had done to her new boyfriend.

Then there was nobody standing between him and Noah and Owen.

He slowly began to walk to them and I could hear the dork giving his fat friend instructions.

"Owen! Offensive maneuver Omega Pi!"

"Sure, Little Buddy!"

The greaser began to charge at the two friends with his head bent downwards, as if he was going to headbutt them. Meanwhile, Owen grabbed Noah by his feet and began to swing him around by them while spinning in circles, in a hammer-tossing motion. He kept spinning and gaining up speed until Noah yelled a command.

"Now!"

Owen let Noah go when the monster greaser was at less than five meters from him. The dork was launched as a projectile at the giant beast and his head slammed with perfect precision into the freak's balls. The titan greaser collapsed to the floor, whining in a high-pitched voice which was the polar opposite of the one he had before.

Noah got off the floor and promptly kicked the guy in the face, knocking him out. He and Owen walked over to us and then helped us up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some bills, which he then stuffed in Courtney's hands.

"That's your pay." He said.

The dork and fatso walked to DJ and Heather.

"Heather, I'll see you in hell and DJ, I hope we can be friends eventually."

He turned to Owen.

"Let's go home, Chubby Buddy."

"Right on, Little Buddy!"

Then, the odd friends walked away.

DJ and Heather got up and left without a word, leaving my girl and me behind. We quietly walked back to the school until we were in her room, which like mine at the boys' dorm was a single person room.

"Well...this was certainly an entertaining night." Said Princess.

"Yeah. You know what would be more entertaining? If you gave me a striptease with that outfit." I told her, causing her to punch me in the shoulder.

"What? I never get to see you dressed in kinky clothes, I might as well take the opportunity to say specialized dirty jokes while you're in them! Plus, after how ragged they got during the fight we are not getting our deposits back on them."

"You know what Duncan, after watching you stare at another girls' tits today I am not in the mood for your dirty jokes." She said.

"Come on Princess, lighten up." I teased her

She shrugged it off, though.

"You know, if you don't want me to look at other girls' chests...you could show me your boobs." I joked.

I looked at her and saw she had a really malicious face on.

"You know what Duncan, I have a little something for you...or more likely a big something."

I looked at her and suddenly she reached for the neckline of her french maid top and yanked it down, flashing me her round, beautiful boobs.

Quite frankly, they were the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. I stared at them mesmerized for about fifteen seconds, taking their image into my memory before I reached forward and tried to touch them. However, when I did that she covered them up with her top once more and slowly pushed me out of her room.

"Enjoy that picture Duncan, and I recommend you take a cold shower." She teased before closing the door.

I ran back to the boys' dorm, covering up my groin all the way and stormed into the bathroom, where I enjoyed a "private moment" for about ten minutes before going to bed, where I had a very "enjoyable" dream about my Princess' beautiful, mocha-colored hooters.

Best dream of my life.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**Read and review.**

**Gracias Totales.**


	16. Dude Time!

**This is important. OK people, it's not that I'm getting pushy but please review. I would love it if you do. Please, just take a minute off your time to leave me a comment. It just takes a minute and it would make me really happy if you told me whether you liked it or not. Whether positive or negative I just want your opinion. Anyone who reads the chapter, just review. Make a poor writer happy by leaving a comment. It's all I ask. Thank you.**

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"Dude!" Geoff called out to me as he walked into the guys' lounge in the guys' dorm.

I was watching TV in the rec room when Geoff came in. He was wearing his usual greaser leather jacket and his really goofy cowboy hat.

"Dude." I answered.

"Dude, you know what we haven't done in a long time?"

"What?"

"Dude time!"

"Dude time?"

"Yeah, just the two of us hanging out in the town. Dude time." Geoff told me.

"Sure. When?"

"Tonight?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Meet me at the school's exit at eight, OK?" Geoff told me.

"Sure, dude." I answered.

I could tell you what went on throughout most of the rest of the day...but that would be boring as shit so I'm just gonna skip ahead.

Wearing my usual street clothes, which consisted of a heavy metal t-shirt, my old jeans and my converse sneakers I met up with Geoff at the school's exit gate.

"Dude." I called out to him.

"Dude!" He answered.

"So what are we gonna do, dude?"

"I was thinking maybe we could hang out. Walk around town playing pranks and stuff." He told me.

"If it's pranking those annoying dorks I've had to work with recently I'm up for it." I told him. "I've been wanting to spook the shit out of four-eyed Harold for a long time."

"Let's do it!" Geoff cheered. "Vince told me that Harold and and some of his friends were hanging around the abandoned town library."

"Who's Vince?" I asked him.

"One of my other friends from wood-shop class." He told me. "Cool guy."

"Sure. Where is the abandoned library, again?"

I had moved to town just at the beginning of the school year on September, so you couldn't possibly expect me to know all the town in less than a year. Much more when most of the time I spent there I was being chased around by rabid rich kids, mentally deficient gorilla jocks and slum-head greaseballs.

"On the other side of town, but don't worry dude. We'll take my bike." Geoff told me.

We then walked to the school parking lot and picked up Geoff's bike, which was a kinda old but well kept all-terrain bike with many exchangeable gears and also one of those seats that was big enough to fit two people if they sit on the edges. It also had two medium-sized satchels on either side of the seat.

Geoff got on the bike seat on the front tip and I got on over the back of the seat, facing backwards to be able to see if anybody was following us.

This was because throughout my time in that little madhouse that was Wawanakwa Academy I learnt you always have to look over your shoulder to see if somebody is tailing you to a secluded location where they can try to kick your ass.

So Geoff and I rode into town on his bike, heading down a lot of places I hadn't noticed where there before due to barely having time to tour the town. Apparently Wawanakwa Town had a strip mall, an industrial neighbourhood, a community center and a sex shop that I would definitely visit some time to get Princess something "interesting" to wear.

We soon made it to the front of the old abandoned library, located on Killer Bear Street which received, according to Princess is ironic since she told me that two days after the street got named like that, a grizzly bear wandered into town and killed twelve animal control officers on that street before hijacking a car and driving to Mexico. According to her the last bit of the story may not be all that true since the town historian was drunk when he wrote the record of the bear's massacre.

Geoff and I got off the bike and began to walk to the abandoned library, which was sitting atop a small hill.

"They're probably hanging out around the back." Geoff told me. "Let's go."

I nodded and followed him.

Right at that point was when I noticed that Geoff looked a little...edgy. Why so? Well, he was looking around madly and he was starting to sweat even though the temperature was more or less cool.

"Dude, what's the matter with you?" I asked him.

"Nothing!" He answered. "But what's the matter with dogs? I mean they're always sniffing each others butts. Weird, right?"

"What?"

"Um...or tighty whiteys...those have to feel a little bit violating. I mean they're really tight..."

"Dude, you are making me seriously uncomfortable..."

"You know what else is probably very uncomfortable...auto-fellatio."

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, giving yourself head has to be pretty weird. You're getting pleasured and giving pleasure at once...that's gotta be weird."

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled at him. "What the fuck are you so fucking nervous about?"

"Nervous? Me? I'm not nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about...there's nothing..."

Then Geoff got wide-eyed and looked at something that was behind me. I turned around and was faced with four greasers walking towards us. I turned again to Geoff and saw that five more greasers were coming at us from behind him. All of them were walking calmly, as if they weren't expecting a fight.

"Good job, Geoff." Said the lead greaser, the one holding a wooden baseball bat.

"Geoff...what's going on?" I asked him, starting to get angry.

"Here dude..." Said the lead greaser, giving Geoff that bat. "Kick his ass."

"You asshole!" I yelled at Geoff as soon as it became obvious the bastard had sold me out.

"I'm sorry dude. They didn't give me a choice. They said that if I didn't set you up they would beat me and Bridgette up. I couldn't let them hurt Bridge. She's a really nice girl but she's not a good fighter." Geoff told me.

"Asshole!" I yelled at him.

"I'm sorry dude..." He said, downtrodden.

"Enough with the gay shit!" Yelled the lead greaser. "Hit him already!"

I gave Geoff one of the most angered and hateful glares I ever gave anybody, considering that the guy whom I thought was my best friend was betraying me it was pretty much OK for me to shoot him a death glare.

He raised the bat and with a doubtful look prepared to take a swing at my face, though he kept on hesitating.

"Come on, dude!" The lead greaser yelled again. "Hit the faggot or you and your slut get it!"

Then, Geoff's expression went from hesitant to angered and in a swift move he turned around and slammed the bat into the lead greaser's jaw, knocking him to the ground.

I felt some of the guys behind me move and I immediately turned around and threw a blind punch, slamming it into a greaser's throat. I then took another swing at the greaser next to me and nailed him in the jaw.

Without thinking I shoved the other two greasers who were behind me to the floor and began to run, noticing that Geoff was running alongside me.

"Let's go, Duncan! My biker is over there!" He yelled, pointing at his bike, which was parked at the bottom of the small hill the library was on.

We quickly jumped on the bike, putting ourselves in the same positions as when we came, with Geoff driving the bike from the front tip of the seat and with my back against his on the back tip of the seat to be a shooter.

Out of the nine greasers that were at the ambush. Five were chasing us, but they were on foot so they wouldn't catch us.

"We're cool! They'll never catch us on foot." I sighed in relief.

"No we're not, dude." Geoff said. "Vince told me that he got some guys to wait around the neighbourhood on bikes in case you tried to run away."

"Vince?"

"The guy who's nose I just broke with a baseball bat."

"Shit! You have any ammo on you, dude?"

"There's some rocks and firecrackers on the satchels on the side!" He answered.

As we rode, I reached into the satchel and grabbed a pair of rocks to have handy. When I lifted my head from the satchel, I saw that there were two bikes coming at us. Bikes with two greasers on each of them. Greasers with slingshots.

I pulled out my slingshot, which I had made a habit of carrying around, and put a rock on it. A soon as one of the bikes got close enough I shot the rock at it and nailed the driver in the forehead. He got distracted and crashed his bike against a fence when he pulled his hands of the handlebars to rub the place where I had hit him.

I dodged a rock that the other greaser bike shot at me and loaded my second rock onto the slingshot, bu I missed the shot. I coincidentally dodged a rock that the greaser shot at me when I bent down to grab more stones from the satchel, which I then loaded into the slingshot and fired, striking the greaser on the back of the other bike, who got knocked off and rolled for a bit. The guy who was driving that bike got distracted by looking at his partner fall and crashed into a mailbox, getting knocked to the side and onto a fence.

When we got a safe distance away I noticed we were riding past Wawanakwa Park, a place Princess had shown me the previous week on our date. She took me there because she "loves the place on the spring" or some shit like that.

"That's Wawanakwa Park, Geoff. We're close to Downtown Wawanakwa!" I yelled.

"So?"

"That's jock turf! The greasers will never chase us there! You have to get us to Downtown Wawanakwa! Fast!" I told him.

"OK, dude!"

As we sped down the street, another greaser bike came out of an alley and started going after us. I dug into the satchel and pulled out a firecracker. Nice! I reached into my pants and pulled out my handy Zippo lighter. Normally I used it because I liked to hear the click clack of snapping it open and closing it, but now it was something a bit more urgent.

I lit the firecracker and flung it at the greaser bike. Since he was a decent distance away from us, it blew up before it reached him but the small cloud of smoke that formed after the explosion distracted him enough to make him fall over and crash his bike.

I looked at a street sign and saw we were on Maple Street, which was three blocks away from Downtown, all we had to do was go down a small hill road and we would be close to the community center, which was a central jock hang out.

"We're almost there!" I yelled.

"Duncan, man! We have a problem!"

I turned to look at Geoff, but saw what he meant by a problem instead. Right at the start of the street that went downwards to the bottom of the hill and into the downtown area was a roadblock. Ten greasers with their bikes were blocking the road. They all had their slingshots out and were aiming at us.

One of them fired and the rock struck Geoff in the forehead. He put his hand to his forehead and kept pedalling without paying attention to the road, causing him to veer slightly to the left and aim us straight for a small ramp made out of a box and a plank that aimed straight to the oblivion of the edge of the hill the street was on.

"Geoff the fucking ramp!" I screamed.

"Huh?"

Then Geoff looked up and saw the ramp we were heading for...but it was a little too late. We both screamed our fucking lungs out when we drove over the edge of the ramp and were propelled through the air into an at least fifteen meter long drop.

We landed on the grass at the bottom of the hill, still on top of the bike, since I clung onto the seat with my legs and onto Geoff's waist with my arms and Geoff clung onto the seat and the handlebars. The bike bounced off the ground was and we both fell off it due to the force of the impact. We rolled briefly before struggling to get up.

We both moaned in pain and complained until we saw the greasers coming down the hill the appropriate way and then we began to run.

"We are so fucked!" Geoff screamed.

"Shut the fuck up! This is all your fault!" I screamed at him.

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, dumbass!"

We kept on running a couple of blocks until the greasers caught up with us and cornered us against the wall of a building. It was right at that point that I knew we were fucked beyond belief...And I mean Justin Bieber's career after he gets older fucked.

"You're dead, assholes!" One of the greasers yelled as they all approached us, cracking their knuckles and leering angrily.

"Hey guys! Greaser!"

We turned to the direction of that scream and saw a jock standing next to a door. Above that door was a sign that read "Wawanakwa Sports Community Center". Then I knew that the universe loved me because out of the door came out twenty very ecstatic jocks, all of them staring ferociously at the ten greasers who were threatening us.

"Get 'em!" Yelled the jock.

The greasers began to run away as the twenty jocks begun to chase them away from us. I sighed and began to walk away, fixated on getting back to the school and throwing myself on my bed to rest up my back, which was fucking killing me after the bike jump.

"Well, we got lucky there, didn't we?" Geoff told me.

I ignored my blonde companion and kept on walking, since I wasn't in the mood to talk with the guy who had just betrayed me, considering I was really pissed off at him but was in no mood and no shape to kick his ass into the back of his skull.

"Dude, I'm sorry." He apologized.

"I don't give a fuck."

"Duncan, they didn't give me a choice. Now I'm in a lot of trouble because I helped you get away. I could have just hit you instead of Vince but I didn't."

I turned to face him.

"I don't give a fuck, dude. Because you dragged me to that ambush and frankly, if Vince hadn't insulted your fucking girlfriend, you probably would have smacked me!" I yelled at him. "So leave me the fuck alone!"

Then I turned around and begun to walk away again. However, he insisted and put his hand on my shoulder to stop me while trying to apologize again, which drove me over the edge. I violently turned around and punched Geoff square in the face, knocking him backwards and causing him to fall down and then accidentally smack his face against the wall of the community center and pass out.

After making sure he was still alive, I left him there and walked away.

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**Please review.**


	17. Winner Take All

Remember how I said that I thought before that this school and the people in it were absolutely crazy? Well, after this thing that I'm gonna tell you about I got confirmation that the place was fucked up and out its mind.

This happened about a week after that bastard Geoff double-crossed me.

It all started when Princess and I were sitting on a bench in Wawanakwa Town talking about our feelings. Nah, I'm just fucking with you. You seriously thought we were talking about our feelings? Shit, you're gullible. Nah, we were making out.

We were making out when some chick approached us and gave a fake cough to get our attention. Princess tried to pull away to talk to her but I tried to ignore the girl. Unfortunately, Princess, with her stupid "politeness", beat me and she pulled away to talk to the girl.

The best way I could describe the girl was to say that she was goth. Really goth. Not ultra-freaky goth like some of those chicks who look like they just fucked the devil but still pretty fucking goth. I remember I'd seen her before…I think that it was on my first day when Ezekiel was showing me the cafeteria. Yes, she was the goth greaser girl who was looking at Trent with lost puppy eyes in the cafeteria.

"Hello?" Princess asked.

"Hi." The girl said. "I have to tell you something."

"First things first. What's your name?" Courtney asked.

"Oh, I'm Gwen." She replied. "I have to tell you something?"

"What?" I asked, really annoyed with her because she'd interrupted one of my favorite activities, second only to "you know what" *wink wink*.

"I have something important to tell you about Trent and it's urgent." Gwen told us.

"If the douche wants help then fuck him, I'm not gonna help him after he's been fucking around with me since winter." I told her.

"Hey! Don't insult him! He's a really nice guy! He just has a bit of a grudge." Gwen snapped at me.

"Look, I don't care for Trent and any crappy message you have from him really doesn't interest me so just leave us be, OK?" I dismissed her, but she staid there.

"No, I don't have a message from him. In fact I want to help you." Gwen said.

"Say what?"

"This is urgent. Trent called Tyler out to a one-on-one fist fight at 'The Hole'. Winner takes all. If Trent wins then Tyler has to break-up with Lindsay and he gets to date her, plus Tyler has to join him in his fight against you." Gwen explained.

"So? I'm sure Tyler can take out Trent. He's a wimp." I told her.

Gwen gave me an angry glare but then continued.

"That's the thing. Trent is gonna cheat. He's going to set a whole gang of greasers on Tyler to beat him and force him to surrender and Tyler isn't bringing any jocks. He'll be fucked." Gwen told us.

"Wait. Why are you even telling us this?" Courtney asked, doubtful. "You're a greaser. It's good for you if Trent wins."

"Yeah but I don't want Trent to be dating Lindsay." Gwen explained.

"Why not?"

"Because…Because…"

Then the chick began to blush like mad while thinking about an explanation.

"Because she's not from our clique and our leader can't be dating a chick from another clique." Gwen said.

Bullshit.

"Sure…" Princess and I said sarcastically in sing-song voices.

"What's with the sarcasm?" Gwen queried.

"There's no sarcasm." I told her. "None at all."

"Don't worry, we'll go make sure Trent loses." Princess said.

My girlfriend took my hand and hoisted me off the bench we were sitting on before leading me away from Gwen and towards my bike.

I climbed on the front of my bike and Princess climbed on the back before we began to ride towards the school.

"Think this might be a set-up?" I asked Princess.

"After the way Gwen blushed…No, this is for real. She doesn't want Trent with Lindsay and she's willing to go for treason to ensure that." Princess answered.

"I thought so."

We made our way to the school and I parked my bike outside the entrance to the school's basement, where 'The Hole' was located. For those of you who don't remember chapter one of this story, 'The Hole', was a large room in the school's basement where students held official fights. For those of you who don't like it when I break the fourth wall…Fuck you!

"Duncan, you on in there and try to find Trent and Tyler while I go look for the rest of the jocks at the school gym." Princess told me.

"Sure babe."

Princess ran towards the gym while I walked into the school's basement. Now the school's basement system is a fucking maze. It's fucking huge and it's like giant sewer and I'm sure that it goes beyond being under the main school building itself. I'm convinced that it's also under a big part of the schoolyard.

So it took me about twenty minutes to finally make it to 'The Hole' where I found that Trent and Tyler were already fighting. The place was empty except for the two of them. When I arrived, Tyler had pinned Trent against the fence on the side of fight cage in the center of 'The Hole' and was punching his stomach.

However Trent kicked Tyler on the shin, distracting him long enough for Trent to shove Tyler to the floor and then kick him a couple times before standing over him. Tyler looked like he was about to knock Trent down when I decided to show myself.

"Hey assholes!" I yelled. "If that's how you two fight I'm not surprised I beat your cliques so easily."

Both of them turned to me and yelled my name.

"Stay out of this, dude." Trent told me. "This isn't your fight."

"I think it is." I said stepping through an open space in the fence surrounding 'The Hole' and then jumped down into the fighting pit below. "I'm trying to keep peace in this fuckhole school and you two fighting doesn't fit my plan."

"Get out, man." Tyler said. "I can take him and I have to face him alone if I want him to leave my Lindsay alone."

"I don't think you can take him and I don't think you will be able to take him since a bunch of his greasers are coming in to help him now." I warned him, while approaching Trent to a fighting distance.

"Wrong dude. They're already here." Trent said.

After that I saw about ten greasers emerge from the corridors surrounding 'The Hole' and stand in position surrounding the fence entirely, not allowing for a way out.

"Now you two better do as I say and give me control of the school as well as letting me date Lindsay or you'll get your asses kicked in." Trent warned.

"I don't think so!"

Suddenly a group of about ten jocks appeared and confronted the greasers, along with Princess.

"Guys! Take them down!" Trent yelled.

Then all hell broke loose as the greasers began to fight the jocks. All over 'The Hole' huge, half-brained monkeys dressed in black leather or sports jerseys were beating the crap out of each other.

Then I turned to Trent.

"Alright musical fruit." I told him. "Now you're gonna get it for real!"

Then the greasehead douchebag stared at me wide-eyed and looked as if he was going to pass out any second. However, he got lucky, since just then Tyler stood up, giving Trent a chance to punch Tyler, push him on top of me to knock me down and then run away. He climbed out of 'The Hole' and began to run into the school basement.

"Fuck no! You are _not_ getting out of this one!" I screamed.

I shoved Tyler off me and got out of 'The Hole' to chase after the dick.

Now the whole place was a giant maze so the chase was long, drawn out and boring since pretty much the whole thing was me running after Trent in dark, rotting hallways and swearing at him while running.

In the end we finally made it out of the fucking basement. The sun was already setting as Trent scrambled out of the stairs that led out into the schoolyard with me chasing after him. He hopped onto a nearby bike and began to speed away while I grabbed my bike and still kept going after him on wheels.

"You're fucked now, Duncan!" Trent yelled at me. "Nobody's faster than me on wheels!"

"I beg to differ!" I yelled back. "You'll have to stop eventually."

"Fuck you!"

"You wish, faggot!" I yelled back.

"No need to get homophobic!" He called back.

"OK, I'm sorry; I got a little carried away!"

"It happens! We're all human!"

"Yeah!"

"Good!"

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Never!"

I was pedaling as hard as I could but the dude was a lot faster so he always had at least a fifteen meter distance between me and him.

"You'll never catch me!" He yelled.

"Maybe he won't, but we will!"

I turned around and saw Geoff and Princess coming for us, but they weren't riding on a biker like Trent and me. They were on a fucking moped, which Princess was driving.

"Geoff, you're a treacherous bastard!" Trent yelled.

Courtney and Geoff positioned themselves next to me on their moped while we still sped after Trent.

"Where'd you get a moped?" I asked.

"It's mine." Princess answered. "I had it stored at my house but I brought it to the girls' dorm yesterday."

"OK, we'll argue about how you didn't take me for a ride on it before later. Now you have to stop him!" I yelled.

"We're on it, dude!" Geoff exclaimed.

Princess sped up the moped and placed them both right next to Trent. We were now riding on top of the hill that was above the city junkyard.

"This is for fucking with me and my friends!" Geoff yelled before he pounced on top of Trent, knocking him and his bike over.

Unfortunately, Trent and his bike fell over in front of my path and I rammed right into them, falling over my bike and knocking into Trent. Since the crash occurred when were in the hill, Trent and me rolled down the hill, getting considerably injured along the way. I don't know for how long I rolled down the fucking hill's side but when I hit the ground I was disoriented and injured.

I got up and looked around, trying to find out where I was. I saw trashed cars, scraps of metal, piles of stacked cars and metal scraps and more metal crap. The junkyard.

I was bruised all over and noticed that my short had gotten torn off and my sneakers were really ragged.

I turned around to face Trent and kick his ass when I saw that he was sitting on a bike and holding a wooden baseball bat.

"Where'd you get the bike?" I asked.

"It's mine. It rolled down the hill with us." He answered.

"Where'd you find the bat?"

"I found it lying on the ground just there. You will find it shoved up your ass!"

Trent pedaled forward quickly on the bike, speeding towards me and swinging the bat. I tried to dodge but he nailed me on the shoulder and knocked me down.

"Fuck!"

I fell down clutched my shoulder while I groaned in pain.

"Homerun!" Trent yelled.

"Fuck you!"

I struggled to get up but as soon as I was on one leg I felt a blow to my lower back and I fell down again, watching as Trent rode past me and stopped about ten meters away from me, grinning notably.

"OK Duncan. Give up now, work for me and I'll stop handing your ass to you." Trent told me.

"Fuck you!" I screamed.

"Have it your way."

He sped towards me again and bashed the bat against my cheek, knocking me to the floor yet again and leaving me in a whole lot of fucking pain. I was beaten, I could barely get up. I stood on my knee and tried to catch my breath as he placed himself in front of me again. If I got a minute to get myself together again I could take him on, but he wouldn't give me five seconds. I wouldn't give up, though.

"Last chance, Duncan." He said.

I raised my hand and flipped him off.

"Fine."

Trent put his feet on the pedal and gripped one of the handlebars and lifted the bat, positioning it to swing. He began to pedal but before he could get far a chunk of rock hit him on the side of the head and he fell off his bike.

He tried to get up but when he was on one knee, my beautiful and fucking ferocious Princess kicked him on the side of the face and knocked him down again. Then she approached me and helped me get up.

"You OK?" She asked.

"Yeah." I answered. "But I'm gonna be a hell of a lot better when I tear out that greaseball's balls off."

Princess and I approached Trent as he was getting up.

"No fair. There's two of you." He groaned.

"Fine. I'll take you alone." I told him. "Court, leave him to me."

Princess backed away and I cracked my knuckles while backing in against Trent.

"OK Duncan, you may have been able to take down my goons but I'm a much better fighter tha…"

I punched him in the jaw and knocked him backwards.

"Shut up, dumbass! You're less scary than Justin Bieber!"

While he was stunned I wrapped my arm around his neck and began to slam my knee into his face. After kneeing him in the face three times I tossed him to the ground and stepped on his stomach twice before kneeling over him and punching him in the face a couple times. When I saw that he was already beyond any fighting I got off him and spat on his face.

"The dork Noah put up a bigger fight than you." I mocked him.

"OK, just…leave me…alone…" He moaned, breathing heavily and raggedly.

"You work for me now, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah…Whatever." He groaned.

"Just reminding you." I finished. "I'll leave you be now."

I walked away from the greaseball but in the last second I decided to give him another kick in the side just for good measure.

I went over to Princess and wrapped my arm around her shoulder and while I breathed heavily I kissed her forehead.

"Thanks babe."

"No problem, Dunkie."

She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we both walked out of the junkyard. Outside Geoff was waiting with both my bike and Princess' moped.

"Hey dude." Geoff said. "I'm really sorry for having tried to sell you out last week man. I'm real sorry."

"Don't worry dude. It's over." I told him. "I forgive you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So what happened in there?"

"What do you think? I kicked Trent's ass." I told him. "His clique work for me."

Then I realized something.

"Wait. The preps, the jocks, the greasers. They all work for me. Fuck, we won. We're in charge." I yelled. "We fucking run the school!"

"I'll finally get back my position in that dump!" Princess yelled.

Princess hugged me with all her might and then kissed me with a raging passion that I frankly hoped she would keep after that, since it was the hottest kiss I'd ever gotten. She even introduced tongue first. Normally I was the one to french it up.

"We won." I said. "Princess, Geoff, we are kings of the school."

"Awesome dude!" Geoff exclaimed.

"How about we celebrate?" I suggested.

"Sure."

"OK, let's go eat something good downtown." I said.

"First let's go get changed. I can still smell the rotten decay of the school basement on my top." Princess groaned.

"OK, let's go back to the dorms first." I told them. "Geoff, go on my bike. Princess and I will take the moped."

"OK."

Geoff climbed on my bike and began to sped away while me and Princess got on her moped.

"We'll have to ride around town on this thing soon enough." I said.

"Wanna drive now?" She told me.

"Hell yeah!"

I climbed on her moped and she climbed on behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and clung onto me, pressing up against my back, which really didn't do well for me since I could feel her boobs against my back and that kind of distraction isn't good when I'm driving. I still managed to drive.

"Hey Courtney."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for saving me back there." I told her.

"You're welcome, Duncan."

"Seriously though, I probably would have gotten my ass kicked if it wasn't for you." I said.

"I think you did get your ass kicked." She teased me.

"Shut up."

She giggled and then snuggled closer to me.

"You're the best guy I've ever dated Duncan." She told me.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I've never been as happy with anybody as I am with you." She said.

"I've never been so happy either." I told her.

I turned around to look at her and quickly kissed her. The kiss was meant to be a quick thing, since I assumed I could give her a quick one second kiss and return to focusing on the road but I got into it too much and so did she so it went on for a little longer, lasting for about twenty seconds and it would have probably gone on for longer if the moped hadn't crashed against a mailbox and we hadn't been thrown across the air.

"Duncan!"

"Sorry, babe."

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**Remember to review.**

**To the anonymous reviewer "Kenju" who sent me a review for the previous chapter and who asked if he could send me a PM with a couple of questions…Sure, I can answer a couple of questions send me a PM and I'll answer.**

**Also, anybody know what happened to CarmillaD? Because she hasn't been in this site for a while and I would like to get her opinion on some chapters. **


	18. King For A Day

It's nice to be king.

It had been one month since I had beaten Trent and his greasers and had taken control of the school and it was only one month until the end of classes so you could assume I was in paradise.

Princess and I were getting closer so I thought I was getting pretty close to getting into her pants. Don't get me wrong, I love Princess an all but I hadn't gotten laid since I arrived to the goddamn place so I wanted to get some soon.

I was walking down the school's main courtyard with Geoff and DJ, leaving classes after a very fucking tiresome day of classes.

"I really can't believe you've lasted a whole month, dude." Geoff told me.

"Why wouldn't I? I'm fucking awesome." I told him. "I got all cliques under my control in the first place, why wouldn't I be able to keep them down?"

"Dunno." DJ answered. "But ever since you took over there's been a lot less bullyin', so I guess things are really workin' out."

"Yeah, all is well." I told myself.

At that point, my girl came running towards us holding a copy of the school newspaper.

"Duncan, look at this." Courtney said, handing me the paper.

I looked at the newspaper and saw that the headline read "Duncan Hopkins continues tyrannical rule over school".

"So what? Everybody knows that Sierra chick hates us ever since we trashed her news room." I assured Princess. "Nobody believes her anymore."

"It's true." Geoff told her.

"Yes, but everybody also knows that the clique leaders aren't too happy you're controlling them." Princess told me. "What if they starting plotting against you?"

"Like they could take me down." I told her. "There's no danger."

About five seconds later I stood corrected when Owen came running over to us.

"Guys, guys, you have to help!" He yelled.

"What's up, big guy?" Geoff asked.

"It's Noah. Alejandro got mad that he wasn't doing anything to get rid of you so her turned all the preps against him. Noah and I were hanging out at their dorm when Al and bunch of his buddies came in. They have Noah captive in there and who knows what they might be doing to my Little Buddy!" Owen yelled.

"OK dude, chill." I told him.

I turned to Geoff, DJ and Princess.

"Guys, you in the mood for a rescue operation?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"OK, let's go." I ordered.

Princess, Geoff, DJ, Owen and I began to run towards the prep dorm, which was on the other end of the school.

We made it there and saw that there were seven preps watching the entrance, but we didn't show ourselves yet.

"Where are they holding Noah?" Princess asked Owen.

"I don't know. I figure it's in the second floor since that's where they ambushed us." Owen answered.

"OK, since we're not sure where they're holding him I recommend that we sneak into the place and try not too make too much noise until it's absolutely necessary." Princess explained. "We could…"

"Give me my Little Buddy!" Owen screamed.

The big fat guy lunged forwards towards the seven preps at the entrance. He leaped into the air and landed on top of three of them, crushing them against the ground and disabling them. He rolled off the rich bastards and jumped up, after which he head butted a fourth prep in the nose and took him down.

Two of the three remaining preps tried to grab him by the arms but the big guy slammed their heads together and put them out of the fight. The last remaining prep began to back against the prep dorm wall, begging for mercy, but Owen ignored it and slammed his whole, huge belly against the dude, smacking him against the wall and crushing him between himself and the prep dorm.

"That works too." Princess said, astounded.

I got up and began to run towards the entrance; followed by Courtney, Geoff and Deej. We made it inside but found ourselves in front of a little asshole enemy of mine.

"Duncan." Justin said. "Come in for a re-match?"

"No, we're here for Noah." Princess said.

"Oh Courtney, are you here to get back with me?" Justin asked.

What an idiot.

"No…I just said we were here for Noah." Courtney told him again, dumbfounded. "Didn't you hear that?"

"Um, yes I did."

"Then why'd you ask that obviously dumb question?" Princess told him.

"Because I…My wit…I'm gonna kick your butts!" He yelled.

Then Owen pushed me aside and stepped in front of Justin menacingly.

"Where's Noah?" The big guy asked.

I'd never seen the happy-go-lucky big guy so pissed. It was kinda scary.

"I'm not scared of you." The pretty-boy douche said, scared and trembling.

Owen raised his fist and Justin immediately covered himself and yelled.

"Please! Not the face! I'll tell you what you want! Just don't ruin my beautiful face!" The wuss screamed.

"OK dick." I said. "Where do they have the little dork?"

"In the second floor games room. You have to go through that door at the end of this room, then up the stairs. Then there's a long hallway. The games room is behind the last door of that hall." Justin told us.

"Thanks, douche." I said and shoved him to the floor before Princess kicked him in the balls.

"What was that for?" Justin yelled in a squeaky voice.

"It was for never buying me chocolates while we were dating!" Princess yelled. "You knew I love chocolate and you never got me any!"

"I thought you might get fat and I can't date a fat chick." Justin replied.

Then I saw Princess put on one of the most furious faces ever as she kicked him in the balls again. Note to self…never tell Princess she's put on weight…Never.

"Let's go." DJ said.

We charged forwards and went through the door the loser told us we had to go through. Just as he told us there was a set of stairs in front of us and just as he said there was a hallway on the top of the stairs. However, he didn't tell us that about ten preps were up there guarding said hallway.

"Get them!" One of the preps yelled and charged for us.

I quickly rammed the guy into a wall, but another one grabbed me by the shoulder and swung me to the opposite wall, however, before he could do anything I head butted him in the nose and kicked him to the floor.

My lucky roll ended when a really big prep grabbed from behind and put me on a Nelson lock, though it didn't last long since Princess kicked him on the shin and as soon as he let me go she punched him in the throat and tripped him to the floor. Two more preps charged at us but I managed to take down one with a kick to the stomach and Princess took hers down with a move that I didn't see but that must have been awesome since the asshole she injured wound up squirming loudly on the floor.

After that a really big prep shoved Princess against a wall. I got pretty pissed and tried to punch him but he grabbed me by the arm and swung me against Princess, knocking us both down. From my new seat on the floor I watched as DJ picked up the dude and threw him on top of two other preps and putting them out of commission.

Two preps remained and they tried to run for the door at the end of the hallway, probably to warn Alejandro but Geoff and Owen reached them and tackled them to the floor before they could get there.

Once all the prep guards were done, we all burst through the door at the end of the hallway and found ourselves in front of a sight we weren't expecting.

Noah was holding a paintball gun and was aiming it at the side of Alejandro's head, whom he was holding as a hostage while five other preps stood near him in threatening stances.

"What the fuck?"

"Oh hey guys. You arrived just in time to watch me fill Al's ears with paint if his friends do anything funny." Noah said.

"Just give yourself up, dork." Alejandro said. "Your clique works for me now."

"That's right, you guys are treacherous bastards." Noah said.

The turned the paintball gun away from Alejandro's head and aimed it towards a specific spot.

"Hey guys, what's with that thing?" He said.

I turned to look at where he was pointing and then heard five loud shots go off. I turned back to him and saw that the five preps were lying on the floor with paint shots on their foreheads…totally unconscious.

Noah tossed Alejandro to the floor and aimed the paintball gun at him.

"If you shoot me all my guys will be looking for you to kick your fucking nerdy ass!" Alejandro yelled at him.

"My ass kicked you say, huh? As tempting as not having my ass targeted sounds I still want to shoot you." Noah said and pulled the trigger.

Noah shot the moron four times, once in the forehead, twice in the chest and a final time in the nuts.

"That was certainly amusing." Noah said. "Now let's get out of here before more of them come after us."

Owen pounced forward and pulled Noah into a gigantic bear hug.

"Noah, you're alright!" He yelled in ecstasy.

"Was…alright…" Noah choked out.

Owen dropped Noah and then the dork ran out of the room with his paintball gun. We followed him to get the fuck out of there, but when we reached the entrance hall we found ourselves face to face with seven preps.

"OK jerks, you are not getting out of here with your arms intact." One of the preps said.

The seven rich bastards then pulled out croquet mallets.

"Those baseball hammers don't scare us." Geoff yelled.

What an idiot.

"These are croquet mallets, popper." The prep yelled.

"No, I'm pretty sure those are baseball hammers." Geoff replied.

Seriously, I really don't know what his problem was, but he's a nice dude.

"Those are croquet mallets, Geoff." Princess told him.

"Really?" Geoff asked.

"There's no such thing as baseball hammers." DJ told him.

"Baseball is played with bats, you blonde orangutan." Noah told him.

"Orangu-what?"

"An orangutan is an animal, the only great ape of the Asian genus. It is also…"

Then one of the preps hit Noah in the chest with one of the mallets. As the dork fell down he shot the prep in the throat and Owen took him down with a body slam.

One of the preps swung his mallet at me but I caught the head and pushed it backwards until it was back over his shoulder and when I was close enough to his face I gave him a head-butt on the nose and snatched his mallet from him. I swung it at his chest and knocked him to the floor before slamming the head downwards on his balls.

I turned around and after watching Princess give a butterfly kick to one of the guys in the cheek I struck the dude with the mallet in the chest and took him down. Next to me, DJ slammed two preps' heads together and Geoff punched out the last one.

After taking out the last prep guards me and my death squadron left the building and ran off until we were next to the boys' dorm. By the time we all arrived there, we were fucking struggling to catch our breath. We were all really banged up and we were worn out as goddamn hell. It was a tough rescue job.

"Jesus that was crazy." Geoff said.

"No duh, man." DJ added.

"Guys, I'm not the kind of person to openly demonstrate gratefulness but…Thank you." Noah said.

"No problem, dude." Geoff said.

"What are you going to do now without your clique?" Courtney asked the little dork.

"I'll manage." He answered. "Owen, can I stay with you at the boys' dorm. I don't think I'll be able to return to my place for a while."

"Sure buddy!" The fat guy yelled. "It'll be like an awesome sleepover!"

Owen picked up Noah, flung him over his shoulder and while the little runt yelled he carried him inside the guys' dorm.

"I have to go now, Duncan man." Geoff told me. "I have a date with Bridge."

"OK dude, see ya later."

"I have to meet with Heather." DJ said.

"Go to her." I told him.

Both my friends left and I was alone with Princess once again.

"Well, it looks as if things have gotten complicated again." Princess told me.

"Nah, we beat Alejandro before, we'll take him down again." I said. "It's war again but those douches are going down fast."

"I wouldn't underestimate your enemies that easily Duncan. Alejandro is tough and so is Justin. We're dealing with some nasty guys."

"Relax babe. Now, I'm gonna go sleep for a while. That dude with the croquet thingy fucked me up." I told her.

"Duncan, watch your language!" Princess scolded me.

"Whatever." I groaned and walked into the guys' dorm.

I probably should have listened to Princess and shouldn't have taken my enemies lightly, since bad shit would happen pretty soon. In fact, the bad shit began a minute later when I walked into my room and saw a note on the bed that read:

"_Meet me tonight at eight in the school gym if you want information about Ezekiel's plans. Don't tell anyone. Come alone._"

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****Please review. I mean it.**

**Gracias Totales,  
****Mr. Panama Red.**


	19. You Shall Know The Truth

Now, I was thinking over many things when I sat waiting outside Principal Chris McClean's office. The main thing was:

"How did things get so fucked up?"

Things got so fucked up the previous night when I did what the note had said and went over to the rendezvous at 8 PM. Now, you might have expected me to find myself with Ezekiel, or Sierra or maybe Alejandro…any of my mortal enemies setting me up, but in reality something totally unexpected happened.

In the rendezvous I found Lindsay. You know; the hot blonde with less brain cells than the Jersey Shore cast. I saw here there and was about to ask her what she was doing there when she suddenly kissed me. I gotta say, it was pretty fucking hot and I kinda sank into it, but I then remembered Princess and pushed her off. She got up and then ran off without a word.

I found the whole thing pretty goddamn suspicious and assumed that something bad was going to come out of it. I was wrong. "Something bad" was a total understatement when I talk about what happened afterwards.

The very next day, I was hanging out in the school parking lot with DJ and Geoff when Courtney came running at me with an expression that would make the fucking devil shit his pants. I was already used to Courtney coming towards me with an angry face on every now and then, but on all other occasions it involved something our enemies had done. This time it was different.

"You fucking treacherous son of a bitch!" She screamed at me.

"What?"

"You cheating, lying piece of shit!" She screamed as she tried to punch me.

I tried to grab her by the shoulders to calm her down.

"Princess…"

However, she shoved me off.

"Don't call me that and don't touch me you little shit!" She yelled.

"We're gonna go now." DJ said.

He and Geoff then scurried away, leaving me alone with my murderous girlfriend. Once they left, she slapped me straight across the face with her super strength.

"Babe, what the fuck?" I yelled, getting pissed off.

Then I noticed that Princess was holding a copy of "The Weekly Bullshitter". She lifted the school newspaper and showed it to me. On the front page was a huge picture of me from the previous night when Lindsay kissed me and a huge, bold-faced headline read: "Tyrannical school 'king' Duncan Hopkins found cheating on his girlfriend".

Absolute bullshit.

"Absolute bullshit." I told her.

"Then why is there a picture of you KISSING LINDSAY ON IT!" She screamed.

At that point she slapped me again and I had to hold her down to keep her from clawing at my eyes.

"How many times have you done that before?" She yelled.

"Babe…"

"Did you fuck her?" She added.

"Princess…"

"Is it because I wouldn't put out like your other whores?"

"Courtney, shut the fuck up and let me talk!" I yelled at her.

"I don't want to hear your dumbass excuses!" She yelled.

"You're not even gonna let me talk?"

"Why should I? So you can feed me more crap?"

"I'm not feeding you any crap! You're the one feeding crap because you're not trusting me!" I yelled at her.

"I would trust you if it weren't for the fucking picture that shows you cheating on me!" She screamed.

At this point I realized that she was crying, but I didn't care at the moment since I was so fucking angry that I just kept going.

"Well maybe you had it coming for being a trustless bitch!" I yelled.

Then she gasped in horror and the waterworks really kicked in. I realized this and was about to say I was sorry when she kicked me in the groin and ran off.

"I'm through with you!" She yelled.

My anger renewed by that nut-shot, I yelled back too.

"Fine! Fuck you!"

A minute later I regretted it and was fucking cursing myself. I decided to go look for Princess, apologize and settle everything to tell her I hadn't cheated on her, but then I got called over the P.A. system to the principal's office.

As I had mentioned before, I was thinking over how things had gone so goddamn wrong while sitting outside McClean's office until the damn goofball principal let me into his office half an hour after calling me in.

Once I stepped into his office I saw that the place was trashed. The wall-paper was torn off in a lot of places, several chairs had been smashed, his books had been ripped to pieces, the bookcases thrown to the floor, his narcissistic painting of himself dressed like Napoleon and riding on a white horse had been spray-painted with the tag "Faggot" (which I thought was so fucking cool) and for some reason his desk had an axe slammed on it.

"Interesting interior decoration concept, Principal." I said mockingly.

"Cut the crap, Hopkins!" He yelled. "What you did here is not funny!"

"What? I did not do this, man!" I yelled, defending myself.

"Then why did we find this studded collar of yours here?" He said.

McClean then pulled out a spiked dog collar that looked exactly like the one I was wearing then, only that this one had a tacky engraving in red of my name.

"That's not mine!" I yelled.

"Then why does it have your name on it?"

"I don't know, but it's not mine!" I yelled.

"So then whose is it?"

"Maybe from somebody trying to frame me!"

"Oh, so you expect me to believe that you have some kind of mortal enemy that's trying to get you expelled?" McClean laughed, unbelieving.

"Yes! If you actually paid attention to anything that goes on in this school, you'd know that there's a shitload of people who want me expelled!" I yelled at him.

"Well, even so, the evidence points to you…so Duncan Hopkins, you're expelled." McClean said, with a pleased grin on his fucked up face.

"What?"

"It's final. Go get your things from your dorm and leave the academy's grounds at once." He told me.

I tried to argue for a bit but in the end he called in security and they forced me out.

I packed up my things and left.

* * *

Since all my friends were from out of town, I didn't have anybody to stay with and I wasn't gonna ask the dumb shit school to let me stay there either…I had some pride. So I made an arrangement with Mr. Cardigan from the local convenience store, he'd let me sleep in the store at night as long as I helped him take revenge on the kids who egged his store by beating them up.

My parents were on their second honeymoon cruise by then so they wouldn't be able to pick me up or even to be contacted for another month, so I had would have had to stay in Mr. Cardigan's store for an entire month.

Now the first week of my wandering around town doing nothing was pretty uneventful, but the day after a week had passed by something horrible happened. I was walking down the beach, thinking of what to do to pass the time when I saw two people walking hand-in-hand on the nearby pier.

It was Princess…and Justin.

They walked over to the edge of the pier and then they kissed. After a brief make-out, they left, having not noticed me and leaving swearing. Now, it's very tough for me to admit this, but I cried when I saw that. I slumped over against the wall under the pier and let some tears fall. It wasn't many but it was still tears.

The crying was brief, since I was soon interrupted by the mocking voice of a fucked up kid.

"Oh, how the gr'eet have fallen…"

I turned to my left to see the one and only Ezekiel Smith in the flesh. He was grinning wickedly and clapping mockingly. I didn't know, but I had the overwhelming feeling that all the bullshit that had just happened to me was his fault.

I got up and looked at him furiously.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I was just contempl'eeting the first step of my absolute victory." He answered.

"What?"

"I hoped you would have already realized this by now but well…you are notori'oos for having one or two chromosomes less than most." He said condescendingly. "I'm behind all this."

Well, what do you know? I was right.

"I came up with a master plan. I talked Sierra Winchell into helping me so she c'oold get even ab'oot you and C'oortney wrecking her press room. We blackmailed Lindsay into kissing you with blatantly fake picture of her cheating on Tyler that only she could think were real and took a picture of it to run on the school newspaper to br'eek you and Courtney up." He explained. "Then I had my allies trash McClean's office and leave behind the special studded collar I had made to frame you so you'd get expelled. Guess what? It all worked to perfection."

While he said that I wanted to viciously rip off his balls and then shove them into his eye sockets. As soon as he was done talking I charged for him, swinging my fist at his face, but my fist was stopped by another hand. One that wasn't Ezekiel's.

I looked to the side and saw that Alejandro Torres was standing there. He shoved me backwards and then stood to the left of Ezekiel.

"Of course I c'ooldn't do it without the help of some more powerful individuals." The twisted moose-head went on. "Like Alejandro here…Also Justin and Harold."

Then the geek leader of the nerds, Harold stepped out of the shadows and stood next to the right of Ezekiel.

"You fucking assholes!" I yelled at them. "What the fuck, Harold?"

"Gosh, you bully me all the time! It's astounding you didn't see it coming!" He replied in his annoying, whispery voice.

"How the fuck is getting rid of me gonna help you take over the school?" I asked him.

"Duncan, what do you take me to be?"

"A moronic, ugly dumbass." I answered, making Alejandro and Harold laugh while Ezekiel looked disgruntled.

"STOP LAUGHING!" He yelled at his two side-dicks. "It was not funny!"

"I beg to differ." Harold said.

"Shut up, dammit!"

"Also, your accent changes a lot too." I told him. "Some times you pronounce 'Courtney' right and other times your pronounce it 'C'oortney', what's up with that?" I added.

"Yeah, it's true. What is up with that?" Alejandro asked him.

"Never mind how I pronounce Courtney. The way in which I pron'oonce C'oortney is irrelevant." Ezekiel yelled.

"You just did it again." Alejandro said.

"You also did it with the word 'pronounce'." Harold added.

"SHUT UP AND KICK HIS ASS!" Ezekiel yelled.

Harold and Alejandro turned to me and began to advance on me. I prepared myself to take them down, but I then felt something strike me in the back of the head and I fell to the floor. In the brief moment I had left before passing out I saw a tall silhouette standing over me and wearing the prep uniform. It was a dude with black hair, a tan complexion and thick, puffy lips.

* * *

"Duncan…Duncan!"

I opened my eyes and groaned as somebody stood above me, shaking me and trying to wake me up. From the taste in my mouth I realized whomever it was had tried to give me CPR…and also that I had swallowed a little of my own blood.

The figure above me started getting clear and I saw a girl of with tan complexion, shoulder length brown hair and an awesome pair of…

"Princess?"

**

* * *

**

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE. READ:**

**OK people. This is a serious message to all my readers. I know that I'm being pushy but every last author cares about reviews and lately I've gotten two to none per chapter. I cannot stress enough how easy it is to click the review button and leave me a short paragraph on what you liked or didn't.**

**I used to get seven to ten reviews per chapter without asking…what happened? Did people get lazy or did they just leave? I don't know.**

**So anybody who liked it or didn't, please leave a review. It's really frustrating to put a lot of work on a chapter for you and get to comments at all. If I get five reviews per chapter I am absolutely happy. If I get ten per chapter I will have a heart attack of complete and utter happiness. So please give me a heart attack.**

**Also, if you read any of my other stories, this applies to them too.**

**I'm sorry for the rant, but writing new things gets tougher every day and I get less appreciation every day too.**

**Thank you.**

**Gracias Totales,  
****Mr. Panama Red.**


	20. Love In the Times Of Bullying

"Get up." Princess told me.

My ex-girlfriend slid her arm under mine and then rested her hand on my opposite shoulder before raising me up to my feet. I was still pretty stunned from being knocked out so I had some trouble keeping up balance. I stumbled around for a bit while Princess helped me walk but I soon managed to keep a certain degree of balance.

My head was so blurry and my concentration so shaken that I didn't realize we had left the beach and were actually quite deep into town for a while.

"Where are we going?" I asked, my speech kinda slurred.

"My house." She answered. "You need to rest somewhere calm."

I could barely hear her, but I managed to process that she was taking me to her house. I'd never seen the place, she'd mentioned it and given a few descriptions but I'd never seen it before.

After I regained my sense of direction I realized we were walking past Wawanakwa Park, so we were in the Northern part of town, the richest area of Wawanakwa Town. I wondered what we were doing wandering around here until Courtney led me through the entrance gate of one of the most fucking huge houses I'd seen in my life.

The place had three floors and I think maybe an attic too. The building itself occupied a fourth of a block and the garden surrounding it occupied the rest of it. The entire property took up an entire block and the garden was decorated with a whole lot of statues and potted plants, fuck, even a fountain or two in the entrance. Three bricks more and I'm sure the goddamn place would have classified as a mansion.

Princess pulled out some keys and opened the front door, leading me inside the place which looked even more mansion-like inside. The whole place was covered in antique-looking furniture that was probably worth more than the entire school's budget. Antique clocks, antique wardrobes, antique chairs, sofas, tables, plates…antique and expensive everything.

After getting me inside, Princess finally let go of me and I stumbled briefly before regaining my balance. Since I could walk straight without getting a fuzzy vision I assumed that I didn't have a concussion. Finally things working my way!

If you didn't realize it, maybe because of some type of metal retardation, that last phrase in the last paragraph was total sarcasm.

"Most girls normally ask for dinner and a date before they take me over to their place but I have nor problems skipping straight to the good part." I told her teasingly.

However, instead of answering the usual way she did, Princess ignored my comment and then she reached briefly into a nearby closet. A second later she pulled out something and threw it at my face. It was a towel.

"What's this?" I asked her.

"A towel. Duh…" She answered coldly and bitterly.

"I mean, why a towel?" I asked her.

"So you can take a shower. You stink like you haven't showered ever since you got kicked out of the school." She said.

"FYI, I haven't showered since I got thrown out." I told her, trying to irritate her.

"Bathroom's upstairs." She answered coldly while walking away.

The fact that she had answered so coolly instead of in her usual irritated and kinda bitchy manner was weird…and it was bad. I wanted to keep trying to make her respond the old way but I figured it might work better if she wasn't deconcentrated by my stench. Don't judge me, you'd fucking reek too if you were homeless for a week.

I walked up the fancy looking marble stairs of the main hall up to the second floor. As soon as I was up I saw an open oak door that led to the bathroom. The bathroom was made entirely out of marble save for the mirror, the toilet and the shower and sink faucets which I hope were only _painted_ gold.

I turned on the shower and as soon as the water felt warm enough I stripped and stepped in. I took a long, relaxing shower. I don't normally like showering; most of the time it takes a SWAT team and a hostage negotiator to get me to step in under the shower; but after all the shit I'd gone through in the past week the warm water really helped me relax.

While I showered my thoughts went back to the way Princess was acting. She was absolutely…cold. If there's one word, one single word that can't ever used to describe Courtney it's "cold". She was always feisty and passionate and one of the most common things she did was not let me get away with any teasing. Since she did let me get away with it earlier that told me either two things happened:

A, Courtney was replaced with an evil alien or B, she was ultra fucking mega mad at me. Now, even though the first one would be much cooler and actually much easier to solve, I would have put my money into the second option. Anyway, no matter what the fuck was the situation I was getting Courtney back. I mean sure, I was fucking pissed at her for not trusting me and being such a bitch about everything but I love that bitch and I knew she loved me so I was gonna do whatever to be with her again. Anything except gay stuff.

After I was done with my bath, I dried myself off as quickly as possible, got back into my clothes (which even though dirty were still OK) and went down the stairs to try and find Princess to talk to her.

I sped downstairs, where I heard some noise. Once I got to the dinning room I saw that Princess was resting a plate of spaghetti with only cheese and butter on it…the way I like it. She was also setting up a glass, a bottle of coke and a knife and fork.

"Princess." I said.

"Dinner." She said coldly and began to walk away.

"No, we have to talk." I told her.

When I said that she picked up the pace and I followed her, but she soon picked up more speed and began to run. I chased her, but she ran upstairs and managed to enter a room (which I presumed was her bedroom) and then closed and locked the door just in time for me to remain outside.

"Damn it, Courtney! Open up! We have to talk!" I yelled.

I figured using her real name would get her to react but she still didn't open the door. I tried to talk her into opening a bunch more times but she didn't even answer so I gave up and decided I would try again later. I walked down to where she'd left me dinner. She might still not have talked to me, but there's no sense in wasting food…

* * *

I woke up roughly. After I had finished eating I tried to get Princess to come out of her room again and talk to me but she still wouldn't answer, so I lied down on one of the comfy antique couches in her living room and I involuntarily fell asleep.

I made my way up the stairs again and walked over to Courtney's room. There I saw that the door was open. Thinking this might have been my only chance at getting to talk to her I slipped into her room.

The place surprisingly a lot more…pink than I expected it. Seriously. The walls were pink, her bedsheets were pink, her pillows, her stuffed animals, her nightstand, her desk, her lamp, her desk chair…almost everything was pink, which was absolutely the last color I expected Princess' room to be. I always figured she was more into grey.

I looked over her bed and saw she had three stuffed animals resting against her fluffy pink pillow. One was a tiny elephant, another was a stuffed teddy bear and the last one was a small corgi dog. All three were pink.

After I sat down on her bed I began to look over her room and then noticed something that made me grin. I saw her dresser (also pink) and noticed there was a purple strap coming out of the top drawer and it wasn't just any strap...it was a bra strap. Now, I'm no pervert…who the fuck am I kidding? I'm an absolute perv, so I naturally walked over to her dresser and pulled it open, revealing a large and beautiful assortment of Courtney's underwear.

Bras, panties and holy shit even a bunch of thongs covered the entire drawer and they were all in a variety of colors. Black, purple, pink, red, blue and a million others. There was lace, cotton and silk of everything. It was beautiful.

I picked up the purple bra that had a strap hanging out of the dresser and took a look at the label to pleasantly prove to myself just how big Courtney's tits were. As it turns out they were a nice, big, ol' 32D. Awesome!

However, just as I was beginning to really enjoy my pervy bra fiddling I heard a screech of anger behind me.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I turned around and saw Princess, once again wearing her usual outraged expression that I loved.

"Oh hi Princess." I told her, deciding to really set her off. "I was just browsing just how big were _your_ princesses."

Then Courtney gave a furious screech and snatched the purple bra off my hand with a furious claw swipe.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She screamed.

Princess got behind me and tried to push me but I resisted and stood my ground.

"Oh I am not leaving now, Courtney." I told her, getting serious. "I've been wanting to talk to you all afternoon and this is the first time you've really paid attention so I'm not leaving until I saw what I gotta say."

"I don't want to hear your crap!" She yelled. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Well I do want to talk, so we're talking!"

"I'm not going to listen!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because I'm not going to waste my time listening to the lies you're going to tell me!" She screeched. "Now get out!"

"Fuck that! I'm not gonna lie to you, Princess. I did not cheat on you!"

"Yes you did!" She yelled, starting to cry heavily. "I saw the goddamn pictures, Duncan! I saw you doing it!"

"I didn't kiss Lindsay! She kissed me! They were blackmailing her!"

"Oh fuck, you just make it really easy for me to believe you!" She added with sarcasm so sharp it could straight out stab you.

"How can you not believe that after all the shit we've been through in this school? Ezekiel blackmailed her into doing it so fucking Sierra in the school newspaper could take a picture and break us up! I explained to her. "The douchebag said so to me himself! He's working with Alejandro and Harold on I don't know what shitfuck plan they have in mind so they can 'take over the school', but the point is they set all of this up!"

"Yeah right!"

"You don't believe me?"

"I don't see why I should!"

"Well fucking hell Princess, if you don't then you are in a shitload of crap!" I yelled. "If you can't trust the guy that loves you then I don't know how the fuck you're gonna trust anybody ever again!"

Then Courtney looked at me fixedly, having noticed something what I said that I hadn't really noticed until she told me so.

"You…you love me?"

I looked at her and then sighed, letting my expression become as truthful as humanly possible and then speaking in possibly the most honest and serious tone I've ever spoken.

"Yes, Courtney. I love you."

Now you have to understand, normally telling somebody you love them won't stop a huge-ass fight but Courtney knew me well and she knew that I am not the sentimental type. So when she heard me say that she was absolutely wordless. She just stared at me in surprise for a few seconds while tears kept on rolling down the freckled bridge of her nose and to her caramel colored cheeks.

Then she marched over to me, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me deeply, letting out all her frustration, all her joy and all her passion into it. I wrapped my arms around her waist and then kissed her back.

"I love you too." She said as she rested her head on my shoulder and sobbed one last time before she stopped crying.

I stroked her hair briefly before she pounced at my lips again and then kissed me with a lot more desire into it. She wanted more than just a kiss, so I gave her more by making my tongue nudge against hers. She answered back and we began to make-out. Our tongues danced around together as we made up.

She pushed me forward and I fell backwards on her bed and we kept our lips locked for a few minutes before she un-buttoned her shirt and took it off, displaying for me one of her gorgeous lace bras, this one red. As I stared her beautiful breasts hidden behind the red cloth, she returned her lips to mine while I attempted to get my own shirt off, which made her pull away to help me.

Soon, more clothes started to come off until we were both absolutely naked and still kissing deeply. I rolled over and positioned myself on top of her and kept on kissing her while I straddled her.

"Are you sure you want this, Princess?" I asked her.

She responded by simply kissing me passionately once again. I briefly paused to put on a condom and then kissed her a final time before going into her and making love for the first time. Like I said previously, I'd had sex…but I'd never made love until then.

Fuck that was corny…

* * *

**Alright everybody, I am very sorry for the delay but this month I was really pressured in school so I didn't have much time to write and I was very uninspired so I apologize for not updating sooner.**

**Now, there are only three chapters of this story left and they are very extensive so it might take me a while to finish them but I promise they will be worth it since they will be jam packed with drama, action, comedy and psycho high-schoolers.**

**As for the new story that I was planning to make, I decided I will do it in the 80's. I'm not sure whether it'll be in a small town or in L.A. but I will make my mind up soon and start working on it. Expect the first chapter soon.**

**Now, I go once again through the formality of asking you to review and I would really appreciate comment on this chapter since it was particularly tough to write.**

**Gracias Totales,  
****Mr. Panama Red.**


	21. Canis Canem Edit, Part 1

**Sorry for the _very_ long delay, but enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

I'm a rude awakener, so the next morning my eyes shot open pretty quickly. Normally when I woke up I'd get out of bed and stumble over to the bathroom to take a leak…but not this particular morning. No, no.

Why? Because that morning I woke up with a naked girl cuddling against me. I'd had many girls curdled up against me after sex, but this one was special. It was Princess. Sure, the sex itself was kinda awkward, since it was her first time, but Goddamn it…it was just perfect. Even if it wasn't physically the best I'd ever had, it was still the best because of how I felt about it.

It was the first time there was any real emotion for me in it and well, this costs me a big fucking deal to admit but…it had been perfect because while we were doing it, I could see Courtney's ecstatic, frenzied yet loving face beneath me and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. There I said it…no further comments.

Anyway, I woke up with Princess cuddling against me, pressing her body again mine and resting her head next to my shoulder. She had a bright smile on her lips as she slept, which was rare, she normally had no expression while sleeping. That helped boost my ego, since I figured she was probably re-living the previous night in her head. Oh yeah.

She blinked slightly and I could tell she was waking up.

"Good morning, Sunshine." I told her, cockily and teasingly.

"Morning, Dunkie." She answered, just as playful.

She hoisted herself on her arm and kissed my lips gently. I returned the gesture and we kissed briefly before she plopped herself back down on the bed.

"I'm so tired." Princess said. "I just wanna lie down here all day…"

"What about your daily hour and a half morning jog?" I asked, playfully.

"Forget it." Courtney said.

"…And school?"

"It's Saturday, Duncan." She said, giggling.

"Really?"

Princess nodded.

"Crap, I've really lost track of time while I was out of school." I groaned in realization.

"Oh, poor Dunkie misses the school." Princess told me in a mock sorrowful voice.

"Shut up, I do not." I told her.

"We will still have to find a way to get you back into it, though." She said, leaning in.

"Whatever." I concluded before kissing her.

The kiss started out softly, but began to build up as the seconds rolled and I'm pretty sure it would have led to a quickie had this not happened:

"Courtney! Courtney! Courtney!" Malibu screamed as she and Geoff burst into the room.

As soon as they saw us lying there naked, Malibu stopped talking and averted her eyes and as soon as we realized they were looking for us, Princess lashed out for the blanket and tried to cover up the both of us.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Bridgette exclaimed as she backed out of the room. "We'll wait until you get dressed, but we have something urgent to tell you."

"Score dude!" Geoff exclaimed as he left the room and gave me the thumbs up with the hand he wasn't using to cover his eyes.

"Thanks dude!" I answered before Courtney punched me in the shoulder.

"What?"

She gave me her usual death glare.

"Get dressed." She ordered.

"Sir, yes sir!" I replied in a stereotypical military fashion.

We got changed pretty quickly since Princess rejected my idea of a quickie because those two bastard party poopers were outside. When we stepped outside, Malibu was still a fucking fire truck.

"I'm sorry Courtney; I didn't know you had company." Bridgette said, almost ashamed that she'd seen us naked.

The only time she'd been that red was the time when I walked in on her and Geoff doing it. Seriously, she blushed every time she saw me for a week after that.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh yeah!" Geoff exclaimed. "Guys, mayhem!"

"What?"

"A riot." Malibu said. "A riot in the school. Everybody's been beating the crap out of each other for hours now and they're not showing signs of stopping any time soon."

"Seriously?" I asked.

I was pretty shocked, I mean I knew that place was violent but to be violent and start a school-wide riot is a different story.

"Yeah and the police can't intervene because everybody in it is underage." Malibu said. "The teachers all got captured and are locked up in their lounge and there's a ton of injured kids. It's a disaster! If we don't stop this then it's going to end horribly!"

"Well, how do we stop it?" Princess asked.

"We have no clue." Malibu said.

"OK, do we have anybody else who can help us?" Princess asked.

"Maybe." Geoff said.

"OK, you guys try to find some of our allies while Duncan and I think of what to do." Princess said.

"OK guys."

* * *

Princess and I made it to the back of the school. There was an old steel gate at the back of the school near the faculty parking lot, which was reinforced with barbed wire, but that had a section missing so you could easily climb over it.

There we found Geoff and Bridgette waiting for us with a little bit of back-up…And with a little bit I mean a little very little. It was only Noah, Owen and DJ.

"These are all the guys you could get?" I asked, earning a jab from Princess, who told me not to be rude.

"It was all the people we could find outside the riot." Malibu claimed.

"Plus, in case you didn't notice…not too many people like you around here anymore." Noah said.

"OK, so what's the plan?" Geoff asked.

"The plan is simple." Princess began. "If you shoot the head the rest of the body goes down with it. So all we have to do is take down every clique leader and their underlings will surrender soon enough as well."

"OK, but who goes after whom?" DJ asked.

"Noah will go after Alejandro, Owen after Harold, DJ after Tyler, Geoff after Trent and Duncan and I after Ezekiel." Princess explained.

"What about me?" Malibu asked.

"You're not much of a fighter, Bridgette." Princess pointed out.

"Yes, I am."

Princess walked up to Malibu and punched her not too harshly on the shoulder. However, Malibu still groaned in pain too loudly considering the slight punch she'd received.

"Again…No, you're not."

"OK."

"Since you can't fight, try to make peace between the kids fighting in the campus. You're a well-liked girl, so no one will attack you." Princess explained.

"That's reassuring." Malibu said, half-sarcastically.

"Wait, why do I have to go after Alejandro?" Noah complained. "He's twice my size. Why can't I go after Harold and Owen after Alejandro?"

"Because Owen doesn't know how to fight if you don't boss him around." Princess told him. "We figure he can take Harold alone because Harold's a wimp."

"Can't we both go after Alejandro and Harold?" Owen asked. "I don't want to leave my Little Buddy Noah alone."

"Fine." Princess and I told him in unison.

"Yay!"

The fat guy proceeded to pull Noah into a hug so tight I could practically see the dork's eyes starting to pop out of his skull. Owen let him go and then the dork reached behind a nearby shrub and pulled out a paintball gun.

"What are you doing with that, dude?" Geoff asked.

"If I'm going to take on a gang of boxing trained psychopaths twice my size, I might as well be prepared." The dork explained.

"Fair enough." Princess said. "Let's move in."

So we did. We all made our way over the hole in the barbed wire fence and jumped off in the other side, scattering towards the places were we assumed the guys we were supposed to take on were.

* * *

The way to the Prep dorm was hard. Since many people didn't like me, I had to shoot my way across a lot of people. Luckily Owen was there to knock most of the guys we came across aside, or else I'd have run out of ammo before we even made it to the dorm. We had to make it past the battle front and for some reason, there was also a set of the school's high-jump mats partially blocking the pathway to the crossroad where you could either access the gym area, the shop area or the prep dorm. Behind the high-jump mats were two unconscious school hockey players. Whoever had knocked them out made our job of getting to the prep dorm easier.

The dorm looked pretty much like how it had always looked. Pretentious and ominous, like most of us the preps were. Of course, by then I had realized that I had been very…unpleasant when I was with the preps but it still didn't change how much of an idiot I had been previously. Fortunately I was about to make up for it by taking down the biggest unpleasant, pretentious, idiotic prick I knew…Alejandro.

However, at the time there was a whole army of pretentious, haughty minions standing between him and me. No big problem, but still, a nuisance.

Owen and I stood behind a statue of Nero in the front courtyard that led to the entrance of the dorm. The front door was being guarded by Carver Wellignton-Pinshcer III, or as we called him in the dorm, Ginger Pinscher. He was a tall, bulky and thickheaded boxing club member who despite having the build of a boxer, had the boxing skill of a sack of potatoes because of his very, very, very slow reaction time. As his nickname suggested, he was also a ginger…and a very ugly one for that matter.

"Hey Ginger!" I yelled to him as Owen and I got out of our hiding spot behind the statue and began to approach him. "I am going to shot you in the face with this paintball gun."

"What?"

Taking advantage of his very slow reaction time, I did what I said I would do and shot him five times in the face. The paint got into his eyes and stung him badly.

"Owen, assault maneuver 39 Tango." I told my Chubby Buddy.

"Yes sir, Little Buddy, sir." Owen exclaimed.

Owen bolted forward towards Ginger Pinscher and bodyslammed him against the door, knocking it open and falling into the dorm. Pinscher fell to the floor and Owen landed on top of him with great force, crushing him. I made my way into the small entrance hall that followed the main door and helped Owen get off the unconscious Pinscher before facing the great door that led into the actual entrance to the dorm.

"Where do you think Alejandro is?" Owen asked me.

"I don't have a clue." I told him. "Guess we're going to have to extract that knowledge from one of his goons."

"Don't we need surgical tools for that?" Owen asked, confused.

Sometimes I wonder how we became friends.

"You don't extract information with surgery, Owen." I told him, dumbfounded. "You do it with threats."

"Ooooh."

"Right. Let's just get to work."

I kicked the entrance door open to show five preps that were unknown to me in the room. What? You can't expect me to know the names of every fool who worked for me. Especially when most of the kids who worked for me back then were so intellectually petty that they provided no interesting reason for me to recall them.

"Well, look who's here." One of them commented. "Our former boss."

"How nice of you to come back." Another said, condescendingly.

That really infuriated me. An inferior Scotthead like him, talking to me like that. Allowing him not time to make another remark, I shot him in the face with the paintball gun that they clearly did not notice I was carrying, since they were shocked when I shot that guy.

"I have no time for your folly." I told them. "Where's Alejandro?"

"Fucker." The guy I shot groaned, rubbing some paint off his face. "I'm gonna fucking kill you."

"Shut up…you." I told him, hesitating at his name.

"Jesus, he doesn't even know my name." The guy groaned.

"I don't know any of your names. I have no time to know about every stooge that does my bidding." I told them, now trying to provoke them further.

"That's it!" One of them yelled. "I've always hated this guy anyway!"

The stooge began to charge towards me without thinking, which was a fatal mistake since I was able to shoot him in the chest three times between the time he started running and the time that he got close to me. When he actually got close to me, he was so distracted by the three shots in his chest that he wasn't able to dodge the blow I delivered to his knee cap with the butt of my paintball gun. Then a simple kick in the gut put that guy out of commission.

I looked up to my right to see Owen doing a 39 Tango on one of the guy, bodyslamming him against a wall, before grabbing two of the other guys and slamming their heads together repeatedly. Unfortunately, I got distracted with Owen and didn't see the fifth guy come at me until he tackled me to the floor, slamming my head against the wooden ground so hard, it left me stunned for a few seconds.

I looked up to see the guy raising his fist to punch me, probably in the face, but got saved by Owen, who lifted the guy off me and after swinging him around by the waist three times, threw him across the room.

"Thanks Buddy." I told Owen after he helped me up.

"No problem, Little Buddy." He told me, smiling.

I picked up my paintball guy and walked over to the stooge who tackled me. He was lying on the floor and clutching his shoulder in pain. He was pretty distracted until I pressed the barrel of my paintball gun against his nose.

"OK jerk, where's Alejandro?" I asked.

"In the terrace next to the third floor games room." The guy answered. "He's got heavy security on that floor, but not on the others that lead to it."

"Great." I said before shooting him on the nose, extracting a yelp of pain from him.

I turned to the set of stairs in the room that led to a door that led to the second floor billiards room and began to go up said stairs.

"Did you need to shoot that last guy, Noah? It was kinda mean." Owen told me while we went up the stairs.

"They were kinda mean when they overthrew me." I answered.

"Oh, right."

We burst in through the doors to the billiards room. Luckily, it was emptier than the room before, but it still had two prep goons in it, playing billiards. Two prep goons playing billiards and armed with billiards sticks. These two I knew; they were Ethan Harrison-Lloyd and Christian Elbridge.

"Noah?" Ethan exclaimed in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take back my clique." I said, hosting up my paintball gun.

The two got away from the billiards table and approached us.

"Oh, are you?" Christian asked, rhetorically. "Well, we think that things are better with Alejandro. So we can't let you do that."

I raised my paintball gun to shoot him but he smacked the rifle off my hands and then slapped my hand away with the stick. When I tried again, he did it again and then again and again.

"Will you stop hitting me with that damn billiards stick?" I yelled at him.

"Hey retard, it's a pool stick." Ethan told me.

"Were you playing pool or billiards?" I asked him.

"Billiards."

"Then it's a billiards stick."

"I don't think the name changes with the game…" Ethan said.

"Maybe it does." Christian suggested.

"How so?"

While they were distracted, I reached for my paintball gun and then shot Ethan in the neck. He recoiled backwards in pain and Owen shot for him while I turned to Christian. He immediately slapped the gun away from my hand with the billiards stick and then struck me in the chest with it when I lunged for it. I recoiled back in pain and found myself next to the rack where they kept the billiards balls. Thinking quickly, I snatched one from the rack and flung it at Christian's leg, hitting him right above the knee. While he clutched his leg in pain I bolted for him and grabbed the billiards stick, which I then pushed upward to hit Christian in the face and make him let go of it. While he was stunned by the blow to the face, I hit him with the stick in the other knee, which knocked him to the floor.

Acting quickly, I ran towards Ethan, who was choking Owen with his billiards stick. I smacked Ethan in his lower back with the stick and then when he let go of Owen, I slammed the butt of the stick into his gut.

I turned around to see Christian bolting towards Owen; however, my fat buddy turned around just in time and caught the prep goon between his arms.

"Owen, maneuver 13 Whisky." I told him.

Owen nodded and then stuck out his knee before throwing Christian down onto it on his gut, slamming his stomach so hard into his knee that it made Chris puke on the spot. Luckily he didn't puke on Owen.

"That is so cool." My Chubby Buddy giggled at Christian's barfing.

Christian choked out a word that I think was an expletive, but was too incoherent and inaudible to actually identify as such. I turned to see that Ethan was getting up again, an action which I promptly punished by smacking Ethan in the lower leg with the billiards stick, knocking him back down before slamming the butt of my billiards stick into the top-back of his head.

After ensuring that both Christian and Ethan were out of the game, I dropped my stick and realized that I was sweating and hyperventilating. What do you expect? I was a lazy, squalid teenager who didn't enjoy moving and such things. It was the most movement I'd done in a long, long time.

"Are you OK, Little Buddy?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a minute." I told him.

I caught my breath and then slowly made my way over to the glass door that led to the terrace. From the terrace we could enter the greenhouse and from the greenhouse we could get access to the third floor video game room. I tried opening the door, but it was locked.

"Great, it's locked." I groaned.

"Think we can bust through it?" Owen asked, scratching his four chins.

"We can if we want to get badly cut up." I told him.

"We could throw something through it. But it would have to be big."

I looked around.

"Something…or _someone_." I pointed out.

"Guys…I don't like this idea." Ethan groaned as Owen and I hoisted him up and pointed him at the door.

"Battering rams don't talk Ethan." I said.

"Oh, OK."

Owen and I charged forward while holding Ethan, whom we threw across the air and through the glass door, shattering it and letting us through.

"Let's go, Owen." I told my chubby friend as I made my way through the smashed glass door.

"Thanks for the help Ethan." Owen said, waving at the injured prep lying on the floor.

"You're gelcome, wuys." The stunned Ethan replied.

As we made our way through the outdoor terrace, I noticed something strange. There were suits of armor placed in front of large gaps in the marble railing that bordered the terrace. Formerly there was nothing there, just the marble railing, but now chunks of the railing had been removed and replaced with very ugly, very tasteless and very out of place suits of armor mounted on top of wooden pedestals. Not only were they very unfitting with the rest of the neoclassic Greco-roman decorations of most of the dorm, but those medieval suits of armor were also a hazard because if they fell backwards through the gaps in the railings, they could crush somebody below.

That just went on to show me how awry things had gotten since I had gone and Alejandro had seized power. Of course, such faults would be corrected as soon as I took back my rightful place at top the prep clique.

"I hate those suits of armor." I growled. "Plus, they look like they could fall if you kick them."

"What? No? They look pretty sturdy." Owen told me.

"I don't think so Owen." I told my Chubby Buddy.

"Wanna test it?" He asked.

"Don't think we have time, Owen." I said. "Let's move on."

Luckily, the door to the greenhouse was open, so we didn't need to use Ethan again. It was clear because of their discoloring that the plants in the greenhouse had not been properly taken care of since I'd left. Alejandro had really let things slip down.

We made our way up the stairs that led to the third floor and got inside. We were in a small hallway, at the end of which was the third floor games' room, after which was the terrace where Alejandro was supposedly hiding. As long as the jerk I didn't know hadn't lied to us, that's where it would all end.

Owen and I walked down the hallway, almost tiptoeing to make the least noise possible in case some prep guards on the rooms behind the doors heard them. Surprisingly, nobody tried to stop us and we made it to the big door that led to the games' room.

"Guess that prep was wrong." I told Owen. "There's no security here."

My fat friend gently pushed open the door that led into the games' room and I immediately stood corrected. Twelve prep guards were standing around, playing video games, pool, darts and such activities before they looked up at us and grinned maliciously.

"Well, well, look who's here." One of them said.

"I already had this dialogue with another group of my former underlings whose names I didn't remember downstairs." I told them, using my most sardonic voice. "Now just let me step over to Alejandro and finish this."

"You were always a cocky jerk." One of those fools said.

"Plus, he doesn't know our names! Even more jerkish!"

"I say we teach the old boss a lesson!"

"Let's finish him!"

"Noah, you have to go get Al. I'll handle these guys for you." Owen told me while the other prep spoke.

"What? I can't leave you alone with all of them!"

"Don't worry about me. I can take them. I'll cause a distraction and you slide over to that door and go after Al while I handle them."

I pondered it over for a second, but seeing as the jerks were already charging for us, I agreed.

"Thanks, buddy. I owe you one." I told Owen, sincerely grateful possibly for the first time in my life.

"You're welcome, Little Buddy. Now cover your nose!"

"What?"

Owen turned around and bent over, his butt pointing at the oncoming preps. Realizing what he was about to do, I covered my nose and closed my eyes until I heard the noise.

The noise of the biggest and most powerful fart ever released.

The cloud of green gas burst out of Owen's butt-cheeks and flooded the room, stunning the oncoming preps. They covered their noses and mouths while they closed their eyes and fell to the floor, choking and gasping in pain. I took this advantage and ran for the large door to the terrace. I swung the door open and stepped out.

The third floor games' room terrace was, aside from the one on the second floor that had the pool in it, the biggest terrace in the whole prep dorm. It wasn't very furnished though, having only four sunbathing chairs, potted plants fitted into those rectangular pots that fit two plants bordering the sides and now those stupid and clashing suits of armor that were facing backwards to the abyss. Not only that, but also these suits of armor were still attached to the metal chords with the hooks at each end that were used to crane lift them into the building; one hook was strapped to the torso of each armor and the other was just hanging loose and untied, lying on the floor of the terrace.

However…the terrace was empty.

At least I thought so until I turned around and saw Alejandro dropping on top of me after jumping off the frame of the terrace's door. My head slammed against the concrete terrace floor, which hurt like hell and was made even worse by the fact that Alejandro landed on top off me half a second afterwards.

The treacherous swine straddled me by the abdomen and pinned my arms to the ground with his hands. After he'd landed on top of me I'd let go of my paintball gun and it had fallen outside of my current reach while he held me down.

"You actually thought you could come all the way here and actually beat me?" Alejandro spat out at me, breathing heavily and clearly furious.

"I knew." I told him.

"Well, you clearly were wrong, amigo." He growled.

"Was I?"

While the buffoon was distracted, I swung my knee up with all my might, striking him right in the center of the absurdly tight crotch of his ludicrously tight pants. He winced in pain and I took the advantage to force my arms away from his and then shove him to the side. I quickly got up and was prepared to kick the villainy out of him, but when I turned around to face him he was already getting up and putting up a fighting stance.

"How did you get up so fast? I slammed my knee in the prime spot of pain." I exclaimed, rather unpleasantly surprised.

"Have you seen how tight my pants are?" He asked, rhetorical and cocky. "After wearing these continually for years, I can't feel anything down there."

"Won't that cause problems when attempting intercourse?" I asked, actually curious.

"Well yes, wearing these pants did leave me partially impotent…but that's why I'm taking control of the school. Overcompensation, you know?" He answered.

"I understand." I told him.

Then he swung at me with his right arm, but I slipped under his arm and dodged the blow. After that, he swung his left leg backwards in a spinning kick to try and hit me, but I was too far to the right for him to hit me. After that swing kick, he landed back in a combat stance facing me and he tried to charge punch me. This time I dodged by leaping forward and downwards, diving between his legs and sliding right under him to dodge. I accidentally hooked my foot on his left leg while he was raising his right one, unintentionally pulling out his only standing limb and tripping him face first onto the concrete floor.

After I pulled myself up and noticed how he'd fallen I chuckled derisively.

"I always figured that a slippery snake in the grass would have to worry about not slipping and falling." I quipped.

As I chuckled, he spun his head around and looked at me with an uncharacteristically ferocious glare. I choked on my cunning words as he kicked his feet off the ground and using only his arms he pushed himself into the air, did a series of physics defying air flips and then landed standing straight and facing me up close.

"How did y…"

Before I could finish he'd struck me across the cheek and knocked me to the ground. I groaned in pain and held my affected cheek as he stood over me.

"¿Simplemente no podías quedarte afuera, no, boludo?" He growled at me, something that I could not comprehend because of my limited understanding of Spanish.

I looked up at him in befuddlement and pain which made him realize he'd blasted out in his other tongue.

"You just couldn't stay out of it, you stupid bastard? Couldn't you?" He growled.

He began to slowly and menacingly walk towards me, prompting me to try to drag myself away in panic. For the first time in my life, I was really starting to think I was outmatched.

"I just don't understand why petty people like you never realize how weak they are! You don't get it! You're not meant to have power; you're just a weak, little dork with no aspirations, no personality and no brains to match his ego!" He yelled as I backed off. "And you know what's worse! Somehow these idiots respect you more than me. You know how many coup attempts I had to deal with since I kicked you out? Nine! In one week! You only had to deal with one in three years! Not only that, but almost half of the preps wanted you back! Why? How could they respect a little shit like you as a leader more than me! How?"

As I backed away in terror, I accidentally nudged something with the back of my hand. Looking at it from the back of my eye, I saw what it was. My paintball gun. I carefully wrapped my hand around the handle and swung it upwards to aim it at Alejandro.

The brief lapse of victory ended when Alejandro smacked the gun out of my hand with a closed fist blow to it.

"No more tricky gun shit. Now it's a man to man fight." He growled.

Alejandro grabbed me by the collar of my sweater vest and then flung me across the terrace. I held my shoulder and yelled in pain as I tried to get up, something I couldn't accomplish, since Alejandro had rushed at me again and shoved me to the floor once more before picking me up and hurling me across the air once again.

I yelled again as my head was slammed against the railing on the back edge of the terrace. I could hear Alejandro laugh angrily at my suffering as I got up and tried to regain my balance, since the blow to the head had stunned me. As I trundled forward to get away from the railing, due to my misplaced balance, I tripped and fell over myself, accidentally banging my head against some sort of small metallic object. I opened my eyes to look at it and when my vision focused, I saw it was some sort of metallic clip. It was the hook clip from the ropes that were attached to the large suits of armor.

As I looked at it up close, I got an idea and suddenly my confidence was back as I figured how to beat the pompous Spaniard Judas I was currently engaged in battle with. All I needed was for him to get up close.

As if on cue, I saw his foot appear in my field of vision. As he hoisted me into the air once again, I took hold of the metallic hook, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Now, I'm done tossing you around. I am going to beat you until you don't look like anything that exists and I hope that after that happens, you'll finally understand that dorks like you don't get to be in charge." He told me, heaving.

"OK, but before that…can you settle a doubt for me?" I asked.

I clipped the hook on.

"What?"

Taking my shot, I spat in Alejandro's face. He let go of me and wiped his face while he cursed in anger. Quickly, I rushed towards the edge of the terrace, where one of the suits of armor was. I turned to Alejandro just as he turned to me and prepared to charge at me.

"Do you think that if I kick this suit of armor, it'll fall?" I asked.

Alejandro looked at me in puzzlement as I signaled his waist. He looked down and realized that I had clipped the hook of the elastic rope attached to the suit of armor onto his belt. I smiled wickedly and before he could react, I kicked the suit of armor with all my strength, knocking it off its balanced edge and making it plummet off the balcony.

Alejandro looked at the armor fall off the terrace and he yelped in dread as the elastic rope stretched and fell with it. Finally, the rope tensed and Alejandro screamed as he was knocked off his feet and dragged towards the edge by the falling statue.

However, as I had predicted, he was topped from falling by the suit's pedestal, which was fastened to the floor by concrete. When he realized he wasn't falling to his death, the jerk sighed and tried to unclip the hook from his belt. Since I couldn't let him get free, I placed my hands under his back and hoisted him up a little.

"What are you doing?" He screamed in panic. "You're gonna kill me!"

"Well, I can't let you get out so easily. I'd rather maim you." I said, hoisting him up a little further, not really seeking to throw him off but just to scare him.

"No, no wait! Stop!" He screamed in terror.

"What do I get out of that?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"I'll let you take back the preps! You can be in charge again!"

"Not enough. You also have to move out of the prep dorm." I told him.

"Fine! I'll do it!"

"…And you'll have to pay me a thousand dollars."

"A thousand!"

"That's pocket money to you."

"I know, but still!"

I hoisted him up a little more to scare him.

"OK! OK! A THOUSAND DOLLARS, JUST DON'T KILL ME!"

"OK, but first I have to make sure that you really learn your lesson. So, I'll take you advise and beat you until you look like something that doesn't exist."

In the following five minutes, I proceeded to ruthlessly kick, punch, stomp, knee and overall assault Alejandro until both his eyes were black, his nose was bleeding, he had multiple bruises and cuts on his arms and face and I'm pretty sure he also had a broken bone or two. I undid the hook and he slumped on the floor just before the suit of armor crashed into the ground below. He moaned in pain upon slumping on the floor, making me snicker.

Just to be sure that his humiliation was definitive I picked up my paintball gun and gave him a single, point blank range shot in the throat.

"Now you can't even talk the talk anymore."

Then an explosion. The terrace doors were blown off their hinges by a giant burst of fire that tore into the balcony from the room behind those doors. Startled by the blast, I fell to the floor as three moderately burnt but not gravely injured preps landed near me.

"I told you to put down that oven lighter. My gas is really flammable." Owen said as he stepped out of the room, talking to somebody inside of it.

He then turned around and saw me lying on the ground. He rushed over to me.

"Noah! Are you OK, Little Buddy?" He asked in terror.

"Yes. What happened in there?"

"Well, I told that tall guy to watch out with the oven lighter he was trying to attack me with since there was still a lot of my fart gas in the room but he wouldn't listen." He told me.

"You know Owen, if you'd been around during World War II, the U.S. Government would have never needed to hire J. Robert Oppenheimer." I told him.

Owen giggled.

"I don't know what that means, but it sounded so funny." He laughed.

I don't know what was it about him , but Owen was always the person you had to turn to in order to turn the tensest, darkest moment into a lighthearted one. Example, we were both near the unconscious bodies of several bruised and bloodied teens we'd just mercilessly beaten up and there were some fires burning away at pieces of the terrace. If the camera were to have panned away from us and up into the sky while showing us standing around the balcony and laughing with the bodies and the fires nearby it would have seemed like the final shot of a very mediocre nineteen-eighties action film.

"You always know what to say, Chubby Buddy." I told him, snickering slightly myself. "Now come on, let's get out of here."

* * *

Now, I've always been a pacifist.

So when the riot broke out in the school and Duncan told me to go beat up my former best friend Tyler, it's understandable that I was a little nervous.

I figured out that Tyler must have been in the football field behind the bleachers, because whenever something happened that scared him (whether it is a vicious fight with a guy he beat for the position of football captain or a really big ladybug crawling near him), he always hid behind the bleachers in the football field. It was likely that a huge school-wide fight was somethin' that scared him so I assumed he was hidin' at the football field.

"We're never gonna break through the barricade, Commander!" A nerd yelled. "We have to retreat!"

"Never!" Harold yelled back. "If we don't get them now, we'll never do it again!"

As I was makin' my way to the football field, I saw that it wouldn't be as easy as I thought to get there, since the whole thing had become an actual war zone. A barricade made of high jump landin' mats had been set-up, blockin' the access to the sports area of the school campus and two members of the school's ice-hockey team whose faces I couldn't quite make-out from afar were holdin' the barricade by throwing hockey pucks at whoever came close. Also, a battalion of twenty members of the nerd clique were surroundin' the barricade, hidin' behind trash-cans, low walls and other things while they used special guns to shoot something at the barricade.

The nerd leader, Harold, was at the back of the attackin' nerd formation, hidin' behind a knocked over iron trash can. He was wearin' a gold colored shirt with a weird logo over the heart and some black pants.

"Harold, what's goin' on?" I asked.

"We're taking down Tyler and his oppressive jock rule once and for all!" Harold yelled.

Suddenly, a puck bounced off the top of the trash-can, nearly hittin' Harold.

"Idiots!" He yelled before getting' up and shootin' something' at the barricade.

"What are you shootin'?" I asked.

"Stink bombs." He answered.

"Look, I gotta take down Tyler too. Let's work together to finish this!" I told him.

"OK, if you get us through this barricade, we'll help you with anything!"

I looked up from my hidin' spot and saw that things were tough. The two hockey team guys behind the barricade had ammo for hours, so there was no way of getting' through them without gettin' severely injured, at least not with a frontward attack. Then I got an idea.

"OK Harold, I got a plan, but you're gonna have to play along with me."

"OK."

I lifted Harold up on my shoulders and then yelled.

"Yo nerds, I got your leader! Let me through or I'll slam his ass into the ground!" I threatened.

The nerds looked at me in shock and remained motionless, meanwhile, the two hockey team members cheered.

"DJ? Way to go, dude! We knew you'd come back to play for the right team sooner or later! Bring that dorkwad over here!" One of them exclaimed.

Holdin' Harold up, I made my way towards the barricade, lookin' backwards to make sure nobody tried to shoot me. After I made it to the barricade, I set Harold down on the other side and leaped over the blockin'.

"OK DJ, now what do we do with him?" The other hockey guy asked.

"I'll tell ya." I said.

I quickly pulled off both guys' helmets and before they could react I grabbed their heads and smashed them together with all my might, knockin' them both out. I quickly moved over to the barricade and moved the high jump mats that formed it to the side, clearin' a path for the nerds to come through it.

"Alright guys, the coast is clear! Come on!"

At first, the nerds seemed surprised that I was helpin' them and after some hesitation they came through the barricade.

"Alright guys, this is DJ. He's on our side." Harold explained.

He grunted.

"Gosh, did you have to set me down so hard on the ground?" Harold groaned as he rubbed his pained elbow.

"Sorry, dude."

"Let's move forward." Harold said.

We charged forward through the small path that led to the school gym area, passin' by the crossroad that split into the prep dorm, the shop area and the gym area. A crossroad at the center of which was the school statue, which was that of the school mascot (Beavis the Beaver), chewin' at a severed human leg. I always found that statue creepy.

"What are you wearin'?" I asked Harold as we ran.

"A Star Trek U.S. Enterprise golden commander jacket." Harold answered. "All the other troops are wearing red cadet jackets."

It's true, they were. Sometimes I just don't get nerds.

Once we got to the school gym area…we were surprised to find it very empty. The courtyard was empty, so was the gym and so was the pool.

"OK, let's move on." Harold said.

As he stepped forward, a tennis ball hit his foot.

"Ouch!"

Suddenly, a football nailed another nerd in the face and knocked him down, but not out. Then a volleyball hit another nerd in the face and this time it did knock him out. Suddenly, fifteen jocks of different school teams emerged from the bushes, holding hockey sticks and different sports balls.

"It's a trap!" Harold yelled.

I recognized all of them; they were some of my former friends. Bill Riles, Steven Harris, Michael Caboose, Ricky Johnson, Leonard Church, JR Peters…I knew them all.

"Well DJ, we knew that you'd switched over to that dick Duncan's side…but we never figured you hung around with nerds." Steven said.

"Not cool, dude." Church said.

"I'm just here to stop Tyler. He's gone too far guys." I said.

"Well, you ain't going nowhere." Bill said.

"Yes, you're not going nowhere. Which means you're going somewhere, which is fun because travelling is always cool…especially if you do it with friends." Caboose said. "I like to travel with Church because he's my best friend."

"Caboose shut the fuck up!" Church yelled.

Suddenly, a stink bomb hit Church in the forehead, knockin' him down.

"Hrrk blarg." He groaned as he passed out.

"DJ, go get Tyler." Harold said. "We'll hold them off."

"OK!"

I bolted out of the war zone as the nerds and my former friend jocks began to beat each other mercilessly. Swallowin' the guilt as I left them to their luck, I entered the football field. As I had predicted, Tyler was there, sittin' on the bleachers with thereof my old friends from the football team, Phil, Scott and Lightning.

"You think that those guys out there are gonna get to me?" I could hear Tyler say.

"Nah, our guys out there are holding the fort just alright." Lightning said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Phil assured.

Then Tyler looked up and saw me.

"DJ, how are you, man?" Tyler asked, truly happy to see me. "Did you come here to help us out against those nerds?"

"Afraid not, Tyler." I said, actually saddened that Tyler had been so happy, because he was about to be disappointed.

After I said that, Tyler realized why I was actually here.

"Oh." He sighed in disappointment.

"I'm sorry, man; but I gotta do this." I told him.

"Yeah, I guess. But you do understand that now we have to kick your ass, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you do."

"I'm sorry, man. I really wish we didn't have to."

"Nah, nah, it's cool. I get it, but I am gonna have to fight back, you know?"

"Yeah but don't worry, I understand. It's something you have to…"

"Boss, can we just kick his ass already?" Phil asked, annoyed.

"Sure, go ahead." Tyler said, groanin'.

Lightning, Scott and Phil got off the bleachers and began to approach me, stereotypically crackin' their knuckles. As Lightning cracked his neck, Phil and Scott charged at me while shoutin' in aggression. They were comin' at me fast, with Scott ahead of Phil; as soon as Scott was close enough to tackle me, I leaped to the side, dodgin' him and gettin' right in line to throw an upward hook straight at Phil's chin, smashin' it and knockin' him off his feet.

As soon as Phil had crash landed I turned around and began to charge at Scott, who had just stopped and turned around to face me. Since he didn't react fast enough, I was able to grab him and lift him off the air with a tackle, throwing him a couple of feet across the air and on his back to the ground. Before he could get up again, I charged at Scott and kicked him in the face, puttin' him out of commission.

I fell to the floor as Lightning tackled me from behind and fell on top of me. He rolled off me and quickly got up before kickin' me onto my back. Before he could kick me again, I kicked him instead in the belly, knockin' him backwards and givin' me the chance to get up. I charged at Lighting and we both caught each other in our tackle, our heads and shoulders locked together, with both of us tryin' to push the other backwards.

Luckily, since I was bigger than him, I managed to shove him until he lost his balance and fell backwards. Takin' this chance I grabbed Lightning by the collar of his jersey and swung him off his feet, throwin' him a few feet forward. Before he could get up I did the same again and again six times until he was heavily bruised due to being thrown across the air. Then I hoisted him up by his collar and took him into a headlock before slammin' my knee into his face, which knocked him out entirely.

After I dropped Lightning to the floor, I paused to breathe in deeply and realized just how good the sensation of bein' in a fight felt. Sensin' a violent thought comin' into my head, I quickly did what my momma always told me to do in that situation and thought about cute bunny rabbits strolling across a meadow to make the bad thoughts go away.

"OK Tyler, now it's just…"

Before I could finish the sentence, I felt a ball slam into the back of my head, makin' me cry out in pain. I turned around and saw that the guy who had thrown the ball was…well, nobody I knew by name…it was some guy in the Beavis the Beaver school mascot costume. The same one that Duncan had worn when he fought off Tyler the first time.

"Hey mama's boy, why don't you take on somebody your own size?" The Beaver yelled.

"You're like half my size!" I told him.

"I'm still gonna kick your ass!" He screamed.

The Beaver launched a very shrill battle cry and came chargin' at me. When he got close, I stuck my hand out and caught his head with it, keepin' him from movin' forward.

"I think you should leave before I gotta…"

Before I could finish, the Beaver spun around and slapped my hand off with his tail really hard. It actually hurt. Before my first groan of pain was out of my mouth he'd slapped me with his tail again, only this time right across the face, which knocked me down to the floor in surprise and pain.

"Not so tough, aren't ya, ya big prick!" The Beaver yelled.

In a surprising attack, The Beaver leaped on top of my chest. I coughed in pain at the very painful blow I'd just been dealt. I tried to get up, but the Beaver slapped me across the face with the tail again.

"You suck, DJ! Big momma's boy!" The Beaver yelled, confidently.

In a habit that I'm sure he picked up on bein' the mascot, The Beaver began to dance around me, leavin' himself open. I got up and walked over to him, tryin' to make little noise to he wouldn't notice me behind him. When I was close, I punched him in the back of the head, knockin' him down.

I was gonna punch him while he was down, but he was quicker than me and swung around, slappin' me with the tail again. Since I knew I was screwed if I fell again, I did the best I could to retain my balance and managed to keep my footin'. He clearly wasn't expectin' me to stay on my feet, since he stopped his charge dead on his tracks when he noticed I wasn't fallin' down again. I charged at the Beaver and hoisted him up onto the air with a tackle, throwin' him about two meters across the field.

Before he could get up again, I picked him up from the floor and swung him round again, this time I swung in circles three times before throwin' him. He yelled as he covered a ten meter stretch before hittin' the ground face first. I ran for the Beaver and stepped on his tail, so when he got up I shoved him forwards, causin' the tail (and therefore his main weapon) to tear off the costume. When he heard the tearin' noise, the Beaver turned to look at his own butt and saw that he was totally disarmed.

He looked at me and I punched him in the face, knockin' him out.

I turned to Tyler.

"OK, I surrender." He said, raisin' up his arms.

"Cool, now let's go tell your guys to stop fightin'." I told him.

"Sure."

Tyler lowered his arms and came along with me.

"Hey, after all of this is done, do you wanna go grab a burger?" He asked me.

"Sure."

My momma always told me that good friends forgive each other for anythin', but I never figured it was so true.

* * *

**OK, there are only three chapters left. This one was originally meant to be a one part chapter, but it ran too long so I cut it in half. I am sorry for the absolutely long delay on this story, but the decay of the TDI fandom really killed my inspiration. I am gonna try to finish this story and "TDWT: The Animator's Cut" but after that, who knows.**

**Please review, since reviews speed the process of writing.**

**Gracias Totales,  
****Mr. Panama Red.**


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